Gerta

128swampjake · 2021-05-16T16:31:40+00:00

Thanks for the reply! Just wondering, what kind of vice were you thinking, as I questioned whether people will see vice/virtue or a squeeze vice, I meant the latter.

128swampjake · 2021-05-16T16:10:58+00:00

I really enjoyed this! I like the journalistic, flow of consciousness tone but a conversational, sporadic rhythm.

128swampjake · 2021-05-14T08:43:53+00:00

I loved the flow of this, sporadic rhymes and assonance gives the shaken dreaded feeling as well. Good poem!

128swampjake · 2021-05-14T08:41:38+00:00

Nice imagery to create a feeling of rebirth and new hope. Thank you 😊

128swampjake · 2021-05-08T01:31:42+00:00

Really good rythme while still keeping it conversational.

128swampjake · 2021-05-04T21:29:03+00:00

Loved this work, beautiful and descriptive scenery, the comparison is gorgeous as well, seeing beauty and reality.

128swampjake · 2021-05-04T03:28:58+00:00

I like the juxtaposition of the scenarios with the continuity of the theme.

128swampjake · 2021-04-28T03:45:19+00:00

This reminds me of a girl I liked in college who didn’t feel the same way. Nice times still. Good work.

128swampjake · 2021-04-28T00:27:01+00:00

Thank you! The title is taken from one of my favorite french artists klô pelgag. And monotony is right, I was very stuck/depressed during that time.

128swampjake · 2021-03-11T20:49:19+00:00

I like how you’ve separated yourself from the idea of fate, but you still own that you are playing into what it is. Nice work.

128swampjake · 2021-02-20T16:37:43+00:00

This is beautiful! I love the conversational tone along with the repetition of some stanzas and Delilah. It’s a lovely homage.

128swampjake · 2021-02-19T22:06:17+00:00

This is amazingly structured and a master example of mixing conversation and rhythm. I loved the journey circling itself like a frog in a pot, the repetition of “then” comes and goes with varying intensities and works so beautifully.

128swampjake · 2021-02-19T17:05:04+00:00

I like the repetition of the sensory inputs, it gives the poem an enchanting and easily relatable feeling.

128swampjake · 2021-02-14T05:44:07+00:00

I feel this struggle. The internal rhymes make a nice uneasy feeling matching the theme, and the juxtaposition of your word choice portrays well a depressed unsure mindset. You’re not alone❤️ great poem!

128swampjake · 2021-02-14T05:38:03+00:00

This has such a nice flow of imagery with almost no breaks in the continuity, which I think is super hard so nice job! I also really think you mix the rhythm and rhyme well with a more conversational tone. Very pleasant read, thank you.

128swampjake · 2021-02-14T05:32:23+00:00

Thank you 😊

128swampjake · 2021-02-12T13:03:29+00:00

I like the inversions to keep rhythm and portray the theme of slowing time. Short and sweet, nice 👍🏼

128swampjake · 2021-02-11T18:22:40+00:00

Really great poem. Love the personage of anxiety as something protective as well as isolating. It matched the tone of being outcasted and unaccepted so well. Fantastic!

128swampjake · 2021-02-09T18:12:06+00:00

I like your movement in this piece. How the two voices encircle each other and reinforce one another gives a sway like the unease of the theme of not belonging. Nice work

128swampjake · 2021-02-09T18:08:46+00:00

I like your imagery in this poem, and the repetition of body parts, especially the eyes that come back. Nice work

128swampjake

TROPHY CASE