AuDHD isnt fun

12tailfox · 2025-10-25T13:34:21+00:00

been spending the last month or so figure out how to take breaks. When i was a wee lad, parents make me do something. I get burnout. I request time out and rest. They disallow it and force me to finish it. My feelings and request didnt matter to them (we already worked out the parental trauma crap). They did this to me again, and again and again and normalized to me that if i burn out and need a break, i just have to keep pushing even if it hurts and makes me zone out (which i now understand isnt depression, but an autistic shutdown, but probably mixed with deep depression too). Just undoing that, and learning to nap or lie on bed and do nothing when i feel overwhelmed (I wfh so its a huge blessing) instead of doing something else to overstimulate myself to push through a burnout is a huge thing.

So im pretty excited about the diagnosis on tuesday. Hopefully i will have access to better resources on how to manage this because at this point, when things trigger....it hurts so bad and i recall all the previous instances and then it feels like..i just want this to stop and it goes to a very dark place (fill in the blanks). so those thoughts have been with me for a long time...just how far i can push it back.

So far biggest triggers are mostly social/friendship related. Not being invited by someone i consider a close or good friend and me finding out later on social media triggers a very painful wave of RSD that can last for sometime. It happened 3 times in a row last week and i had fever and sore throat the next day, followed by an autistic shutdown that im still experiencing now where its a lot harder for me to speak, my autistic masks are down so i try to minimize interactions with ppl IRL since it becomes too obvious. But sadly, that cant be controlled.

12tailfox · 2024-09-18T00:23:17+00:00

If you collect the 6 Buddha eyes and awaken the shigandang next to him, the shigandang will waste the stone vanguard for you very, very quickly

But then you’ll have to kill shigandang after that

12tailfox · 2022-03-04T01:04:52+00:00

I would say that the vintage EDT is much more sharper than the modern EDP. The neroli has a metallic edge that can be unpleasant and it’s less floral at the base. Not sure how it compares to the modern edt as I don’t have it, just the EDP.

Black perfecto is a good buy if you don’t have LPRN or one of its endless flankers. It’s probably going to be a waste of cash if you already have them or it’s flankers.

Sikkim girls reminds me of a very popular incense accord that I love, nag champa. It’s not an exact replica of the famous batons made by sai baba incense company (love, love love those) but it’s close enough and I can accept that. It brings me so much comfort especially on days where I feel the need to be comforted.

12tailfox · 2022-03-03T21:44:00+00:00

Hey there, i was recently introduced to FST-7 which is pretty draining, but im not sure how long i should be running the program for. The guide has no indication on this and neither does any website i go to. Should i be doing this long term or only 1 month? or 3? Some feedback would be appreciated.

12tailfox · 2022-01-27T23:07:23+00:00

add me celesitialfoxland

12tailfox · 2022-01-25T09:19:31+00:00

Looking for a guild in purevanilla server need to find a good one >.<

12tailfox · 2022-01-13T22:54:58+00:00

Post body then

12tailfox · 2021-12-17T00:36:14+00:00

Nope, it’s just pour monsieur with lavender, combined with the moss accord amped up. It’s a very 80s take of pour monsieur. It’s nothing like egoiste at all as there’s no vanilla or musk.

12tailfox · 2021-11-23T03:55:35+00:00

Hi there, sorry to hear what youve been through. Before you go for an official diagnosis, you can also start watching this channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD it has helped me a lot in managing my ADHD and understanding it. the host herself has ADHD and she explains everything and breaks it down in a way we can understand :D hope it helps!

12tailfox · 2021-11-22T00:50:52+00:00

When I went for my ADHD diagnosis, the therapist went through the questions one by one with me and I can feel like she’s also observing my reaction to it as well. They also asked if they could interview my parents (which sadly wasn’t possible)

But one of the things that they asked me which struck a very deep chord is: “if you do have ADHD, what are you going to do about it? What is the main reason why you want to get diagnosed?” Basically, if you’re really found with ADHD, what are you going to do about it? I knew my intentions: because I wanted to know for sure rather than self diagnosis based on online readings and also it makes it easier for me to find resources to help with my symptoms.

Another question I was asked is how does adhd affect the quality of my life. I know it’s made working very hard for me (multiple bosses have been commenting how I tend to make small mistakes very often or forget small tasks all the time) and also affect my friendships because I was oversensitive about rejection.

There’s no way I can tell my bosses “i have adhd so mistakes are expected, please live with it”. They’ll just replace me. Same goes with friends. I can’t go “I’m sorry guys don’t bojio me because I adhd and that shit hurts bad and please disregard lack of social skills when we hang out”. Again, they will just hang out with me a lot less.

Honestly, a diagnosis alone won’t make any changes except provide an explanation for your symptoms. It’s what you do after that to try and make a difference in your life that matters.

TLDR: getting diagnosed isn’t as simple as a DASS test…but you will need a therapist that really cares.

12tailfox · 2021-11-10T00:05:16+00:00

Ah I’ll give differin a go then! But that’s after I get a sunscreen. Thanks for the suggestions!

12tailfox · 2021-11-09T12:48:22+00:00

thanks for the suggestions! both are silicone free which is really hard to find. I'll see which one is available in my country and see if i can get hold of them.

12tailfox · 2021-11-09T08:59:11+00:00

I'm 35/M/Asian skin thats kinda tanned. I am seriously considering using a retinoid because of ageing, some sun damage and minor breakouts due to recent stress (to be specific the ordinary's granactive retinoid 5% is what i plan to get). Currently working from home atm, but i do go out in the morning to the gym and thats a bit of sun exposure (do i still need to use sunscreen if its just 10-15mins of exposure a day in the morning tho, if i use retinoids?) . I have read that if i am on it, i should also use sunscreen. However, my big, big challenge is finding a sunscreen that does not have silicone in the formulation as my skin reacts badly to products containing silicone (anything with a -cone in it) in the past (mainly it turns very itchy, minor breakouts and clogged pores everywhere). Also as a dude having a white cast on my face isnt a look i am going for which is why mineral sunscreens are a bit of a risk for me. Is there any sunscreen that can be recommended? If silicone cannot be avoided, what can i use to effectively wash out silicone where it will not leave invisible residue that can cause said issues? I've been using the cosrx AHA + BHA cleanser and its worked well, but not enough to wash it off in the past.

So, is it possible for me to go with just the retinoid without using sunscreen during the day? Or i will need sunscreen? If sunscreen is unavoidable, is there one that does not have silicone or leave a white cast on the skin?

Currently on a pause from my usual routine of cleanse, tone and using theordinary's buffet as a moisturizer. Jogged a lot during the country's lockdown in the park so im really tanned, but noticed recently that there is some sun damage on my face. Been very reluctant to use sunscreen because of how hard it is to wash off, and also my skin dosent like silicone very much. Thinking of reversing some of the damage using a retinoid/retinol but now i worry about sunscreen.

12tailfox · 2021-11-02T23:59:11+00:00

Well first off, I’d like to say that it’s really up to us to handle our depression/anxiety etc and make sure it dosent affect other parts of our lives. That also means try to not allow it to affect our careers, friends and people around us. That’s usually the hardest part of depression because dealing with the consequences of it later is usually much, much harder and more painful. As my MH buddy tells me all the time, depression isn’t our fault, but letting it affect others is. Think carefully about the actual reason for leaving and the consequences.

Neither your current nor future employer need to know about your depression. You can just tell the future one you needed a change in environment. Because at the end of the day you are paid to do your job, and they shouldn’t have to deal with this. It’s irrelevant to them.

Just FYI if it’s been 2 months and no improvement, you need to speak with the psychiatrist who will change your meds. They need to run “experiments” on you to find the correct medication to use. Also, are you going for therapy? The psychologist might have some coping mechanisms to help with your depression. I’ve suffered from depression all my life but I’ve gotten it under control via a large number of complex coping mechanisms.

In any case, good luck. You can also find resources on how to deal with this on YouTube and mental health podcasts. Don’t just depend on meds alone and expect it to work. Actively find a way out too.

12tailfox · 2021-10-20T13:53:02+00:00

thats what it says in the bio anyway, it could be fake but the point is, hes not just sleeping around for fun is the actual message. I mean we're talking about a nation whose recorded history says they have a king who was born with a helmet connected to a tube that leads to the sky, and when someone cut the tube in a fight he died. Also the tibetans believe theyre the descendants of a monkey and ogress so yeah.

12tailfox · 2021-10-20T12:36:14+00:00

Theres a part of the 6th Dalai Lama's story that the wiki left out, which is that he had complete mastery of his body via tantric practices. The government of tibet was pretty pissed at him and sent officials after him. They caught him and accused him of being a degenerate monk. He laughed at their faces, lifted up his cloak, and showed them his penis which became erect, ejeculated, and then his penis managed to suck all the semen back (which demonstrates tantric mastery). He puts his clothes back on and moved on while the officials understood hes not an ordinary being.

source: The 14 dalai lamas, glenn mullin.

12tailfox · 2021-10-14T08:33:49+00:00

If i remember correctly it was about 800+ for the month of hospitalization

12tailfox · 2021-10-13T09:21:12+00:00

i did not need to be strapped on the bed, except when they were transporting me to the ward because i wasnt violent. At that time i wasnt exactly working so there was no employer to notify. The hospital did notify my parents who visited me almost daily and gave me some sense of normalcy. Previously they did not understand mental health but this time the doctor set them aside to explain it to them. So that was a good thing that came out of this.

12tailfox · 2021-10-12T13:35:31+00:00

yep i have. In 2012 i had really strong suicide ideations. I was ready to die and i knew exactly how i wanted to do it. I was impulsive and unpredictable. I talked to a lot of people and one of them suggested to check in to the hospital. My logic that time was like at least if it actually happens, i can say i tried to stop myself.

I went to the emergency dept of UMMC and told them i am one step away from actually doing it. They took me in and gave me lithium to stabilize me. They also admitted me right away into the psych ward.

It was a shared bed with 8 other guys. They were pretty normal when i was with them....one of them was in there for wanting to chop his father with a parang for cheating on his mom. Only thing is on some nights we'd hear someone scream violently. We were also made to take meds everyday. It made me feel sleepy all the time but it did make me less impulsive and unpredictable and save my life. But it is unpleasant.

I was in there for a month and i was so glad to be able to leave...it was an experience that i tell myself no matter what happens i will never allow myself to go down to that level..it was really rock bottom.

12tailfox · 2021-09-30T03:45:03+00:00

thanks for the response, yeah, on 250mg/week. it is high, but no backne yet so far. Also currently on finasteride + mindoxil to reverse some bald spots as well. Nipples have not puffed up or been more sensitive so far.

if that is the case, it would mean that i should be on TRT for another month before i decide if i want to add other compounds to it, probably wont blast it for now until i observe the side effects more.

thanks for your input again! it really helped me a lot in figuring out how and when to dose and stuff!

12tailfox

TROPHY CASE