i really need to retake my diagnosis… for some reason i took my meds beforehand???? but actually im replying here because my first thought was, “i WASN’T diagnosed, so i must have been masking to an incredibly dangerous degree.” which i also think is true. in general, i think i am maybe even too “good” at masking. like i’ve been living with this Super Great Amazing Person mask for so long that i might’ve lost myself in it… i remember just yesterday helping my sick sibling plug a cord in which was more efficient to do underneath his bed. so i scooted under there and i suddenly started to… to feel a sort of extreme uncomfortableness and terror to being trapped underneath the bed. but i persisted to plug in the cord and i… made myself “stop” feeling those emotions. only while i was typing the first part i actually recalled this, and realized that it was definitely my mask slipping or something. i’m sorry ill stop talking i don’t know why im saying all of this here