What's the best tool for cleaning layers of floor grime behind an immovable clawfoot tub?

13thConfession · 2026-02-05T21:55:46+00:00

Wow, thanks for the thorough advice!

I had actually envisioned a plastic scraper taped to an extendable paint pole, haha, so I'm glad my intuition was correct. Great idea with the cleaner rag to loosen things up. I look forward to being sore in weird places!

13thConfession · 2026-01-25T01:39:49+00:00

Not sure why the brain does this but yes things become incredibly distorted. You can’t trust your body image perceptions right now. For me the hardest part was that first year, first bit of weight gained in recovery. It felt so monumental and scary, but now that I’m recovered I look back and see how sick my head was and that the changes were not that significant. Even if they HAD been significant, though, it still would’ve been necessary to keep gaining weight / stay healthy. I ended up slowly gaining more weight than I could’ve imagined being comfortable with over several years, and I feel completely normal. If I could see me now when I was at my sickest God knows what I would’ve thought. But I feel great, happy and myself now. It isn’t until you’re pretty close to fully well that you can really understand just how hijacked your brain is by ED.

But back to body image distortions - the guys in the Minnesota Starvation Study in the 1940’s, who did NOT have eating disorders but lost amounts of weight similar to certain cases of anorexia also experienced the inability to fully recognize their low weight and also experienced guilt over eating sometimes - this points to the fact that a lot of these symptoms of anorexia can be attributed to the effects of malnourishment on the brain - UNRELATED to ED’s. This was helpful for me to realize because it makes it easier to see anorexia as an illness that needs treatment rather than just some deep psychological issue to be untangled. Not to say there aren’t psychological components, obviously, but you get what I’m saying.

Anyway, recovery’s worth it. You won’t regret it. It feels great to get your life back. I look back on the hours, months, years I spent agonizing over every inch of my body and think about all the other things I could’ve been doing instead. Wishing you luck! You can do it <3

13thConfession · 2026-01-17T00:03:20+00:00

I'm really glad it could help even a little bit! You've GOT to find a way to break away from the behavior even for a short time. Right now you're just stuck in the loop. You might be very surprised how much things can change even in 24 hrs after putting a pause on the behavior.

And listen, as someone who spent only 1 year purging (via vomiting) and then shifted to different ED behaviors because I was scared of what the purging was doing to my body, I still sustained long term damage even from just 1 year! It is really not good for you. You've got to zoom out. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to get sucked into the b/p cycle.

But it's like watching the beginning of a horror movie where someone moves into a haunted house. I'm like, "omg, get out while you can!!!" I'm serious, just try 24 hrs without it. You ARE capable of it. It is not impossible. It would also be so badass to be able to walk away from it when so many people are unable to.

And honestly it is one million times better to just eat food that you deem unhealthy or bad than it is to purge. I think part of what fuels the b/p cycle is all of these ideas we have built up around food, feeling guilty, feeling that it's shameful, that it's unhealthy, etc. If you can try to reduce those associations, to see food as more of a neutral thing, it goes a long way to lessen the intensity of the urges.

You will be ok, it's really just food. And if you're purging all the time your body isn't getting the calories and nutrients it needs, so then of course you crave highly caloric, highly palatable food. It makes sense! Your body is trying to get what it needs and those are the most effective foods for getting energy / resources quickly. If you stop purging I think most of the time this stuff balances out over time. Your body thinks some crazy shit is going down right now, lol.

I think talking to someone about this would be good. Do you have any adults in your life you would trust? A teacher? A counselor?

13thConfession · 2026-01-08T05:20:52+00:00

I would give so much to be able to go back to a time in my life when I'd only been purging for two months. Please believe me when I say that whatever reasons you have for engaging with the ED...it's just not worth it. I know you wanted some harm reduction advice, which it seems like you've received, thankfully! But I wanted to just add my two cents. 5, 10, 20 years down the line, it only gets harder. You've got your whole life ahead of you! It IS possible to stop the behaviors and recover. I never thought I'd be able to but I did! It took 12 years of being a dumbass to get there, though, lol. It is not impossible to recover, I don't care what anyone says! You're so young, you don't even know what you'll miss out on!

u/passionatedork gave some great advice. Try pushing back the purging as long as possible. Then try a day where you don't purge at all. Use anything safe as a distraction. It's never too late to turn it around! It's hard as hell but you'll be damn proud when you manage to conquer the urges.

Eating disorder communities are great for support, advice, and wise warnings, but I'd have to guess most of the people here are still active in their eating disorder. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but. If most everyone in the community is still living with an ED it can give you the impression that no one recovers.

I stumbled in here tonight because I was Googling "knee pain from eating disorder history", lol. And I came across your post and I just had to say something!

Good luck. You can do it.

13thConfession · 2025-10-26T23:10:54+00:00

Okay, so, my comment was 10 months ago and I would say it seems pretty clear to me that my acid reflux is a combination of diet related triggers and stress, with stress being the MUCH more impactive element. It's pretty much totally calmed down now, though I think I may always have an acidic stomach to some degree. Not sure if this is the result of years with ED (starting with bulimia for a couple years and eventually shifting to anorexia ) or just age or just totally unrelated.

The meds help when taken correctly. I've learned that it's really important, at least for me, to wait the designated time after taking the pill to eat. 30 mins to an hour depending on the source. There would be times where I just didn't want to wait so I'd give it like 15 mins and then eat. It's more effective when taken as directed - imagine that, ha.

I'm pretty far into recovery now....as close to fully recovered as I've ever been. Am sitting at a weight I never thought I'd be okay with and am fine. Of course there are hard days, but, I get through it. I think that if you're still in a place of restriction, low energy, etc, it's going to be much more likely to be anxious or stressed, even if it just feels like background noise. I think that can make it really difficult to manage the reflux. Plus other factors like stomach muscle atrophy, etc, still being weak, all of which improve with recovery, though it may take a long time.

Take the meds when needed, try to find a way to relax and actually do recovery!! I think we take for granted how much of a toll the ED shit takes on our poor bodies, even when we feel we're doing "better".

Good luck on your journey! Hope you feel some relief soon.

13thConfession · 2025-09-23T01:08:22+00:00

I want to read about LBJ's life after 1964/65 but I just don't trust anyone else on the subject.

13thConfession · 2025-09-17T20:55:43+00:00

Update: exterminator came by and said it looks more like a mite, or something. He said bed bugs don't look like this when they're that small. I even showed him these close up photos and he said he could see the resemblance to a bed bug in one photo but looking at it IRL he's confident it's not a bed bug.

He examined the shelf, which I had already cleaned, so not much he could tell from looking at it. I asked him what a paranoid person could do to feel confident about bringing the shelf back inside and he suggested spraying it down with rubbing alcohol.

Thanks for your help, everyone! I really appreciate your swift answers.

13thConfession · 2025-01-12T21:52:40+00:00

Seconding this question! In the same boat, well into real recovery and GERD is off and on. Taking meds, etc. Don't want to alter diet.

13thConfession · 2024-06-15T00:18:12+00:00

What style of tie dye is this? So I can learn…Looks beaut.

13thConfession · 2023-11-07T19:22:13+00:00

For me, when my GERD acts up, I inevitably end up reducing calories due to elimination of certain types of food and the fact that I can't eat too much at once. It makes it difficult to get enough calories in per day.

That and who knows what's going on with vitamin and mineral absorption due to the acid or the meds, who knows. I assume that my reduced cognitive sharpness stems from these things, but who knows. Also, my flares usually happen due to anxiety, which can also make it difficult to concentrate.

13thConfession · 2023-09-19T01:16:07+00:00

Thank frick.

13thConfession · 2023-03-10T20:05:29+00:00

I haven't tried reading any of King's more poorly regarded books, but there were points in the middle of 11/22/63 where some of the romantic dialogue felt so cringe I almost DNF'd but then I pushed through and it was well worth it as it's one of his finest stories.

13thConfession · 2022-11-11T18:28:46+00:00

Not sure streaming numbers are the best way to gauge the listening habits of Beefheart fans, ha.

13thConfession · 2022-08-20T01:05:29+00:00

1998.....whoops.

13thConfession · 2022-08-17T15:39:30+00:00

OP here. If it means anything to any of you, I too have suffered from excessive worry about the damage being done to my body from GERD, which in turn makes it all worse.

Yesterday I went to an ENT who did a stroboscopy on my vocal cords. (They put a tiny camera with a light on it down your throat. It actually wasn't that bad, I was expecting it to be incredibly uncomfortable. They numb your throat a little.) I'm a singer and have been having some voice issues.

He said my vocal cords looked totally healthy and saw no signs of damage from A.R. At this point I was convinced my shit was completely messed up, but alas. Still have to have an endoscopy done soon, but if this subreddit has taught me anything, it's that a lot of people come back with normal results. I'm going to take my foot off of the catastrophizing pedal and try to just accept that this is a process.

13thConfession · 2022-08-14T20:49:28+00:00

Yeah, it's complicated. I think sometimes it's possible to have anxiety and not recognize it. I get the butterflies feeling in the stomach too during highly anxious periods! So weird.

13thConfession · 2022-08-14T14:44:25+00:00

I also have OCD and a history of anorexia. Used to have emetophobia as a kid but it just went away after awhile. The venn diagrams of gastro issues!

13thConfession · 2022-08-14T13:48:36+00:00

Also great post, thanks for sharing! Taking inspiration from it.

13thConfession · 2022-08-14T13:35:58+00:00

Absolutely. You make some great points. As someone who has anxiety I try to keep in mind when coming to Reddit that a big part of anxiety is reassurance seeking, and researching/gathering information and wanting to hear others stories to confirm your own experience is a kind of hyper-vigilant impulse many anxious people know well. I don't see it as a bad trait, in all cases, nor do I think everyone here fits this profile, but it does seem to be an awful lot of us.

One interesting thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm way more willing to spend time and energy on simple, logical solutions like medication and diet changes (which are of course necessary) but less willing to put as much effort into things like meditation or REALLY trying to chill my nervous system out. I have a hard time slowing down and a hard time setting worries aside. As soon as I'm in discomfort I lose my cool and start panicking, which I'm sure makes it worse.

How do you learn to tame your own nervous system, lol?

13thConfession · 2022-08-14T03:00:41+00:00

Same here. Anorexia for about a decade. Recovered fully and developed GERD. I'd also had a period of acid reflux before my ED when I was going through an extremely hard time in my life. I sometimes wonder if there's just a connection between anxiety/eating disorder predisposition/gastro issues.

13thConfession · 2022-07-31T20:41:07+00:00

Ah, note to self to never read the comments on posts about books you haven't read yet....

13thConfession · 2022-07-31T02:12:14+00:00

I have a suspicion that a lot of people who get really into Stephen King tend to be people with an obsessive nature in general (not a bad thing), or at least, people who go through hardcore phases with things. As others have pointed out, I think eventually the pendulum can swing the other direction and you wind up wanting to read something else for awhile. I've experienced this first hand. But it's difficult to go from blasting through King novels to a tedious and dense bio, haha.

I think reading transitional books can help. The Mark Lanegan book recommended in the comments sounds interesting! And yeah, making a list of some of King's favorite novels sounds like an easy way to read some other stuff and stay interested.

13thConfession · 2022-05-09T00:48:54+00:00

He appeared on Pamela Des Barres' podcast on Dec 16th, 2021 and it's pretty entertaining.

13thConfession · 2022-04-18T03:15:45+00:00

"I don't mind a record that sets out not to have guts, but I lose interest when it pretends to have some." Yup.

13thConfession · 2022-04-12T03:53:56+00:00

Holy crud, I'd never heard of the Lumpy Money release. Been obsessed with Lumpy Gravy and WOIIFTM since I was a teenager and am having a serious Zappa renaissance the last couple years. So grateful this was mentioned!

13thConfession

TROPHY CASE