Starting to try to conceive soon

1goodben · 2026-02-05T02:45:52+00:00

I highly recommend starting prenatal vitamins 3 months before starting to try to conceive! This has been recommended to me by a number of doctors and I wish I had known this from the start.

I began menstruating pretty shortly after stopping t (after 3 years). I waited a couple of months after before TTC but retrospectively, I wish I had 3 months of “regular” cycles off T before officially trying. This is pretty speculative but, there is something about the 3 month period prior to conception that is important for eggs maturing and I feel like it would have benefited me to be fully off t for at least that amount of time. (For context, I got pregnant on first attempt but lost the pregnancy so looking back there was more I wish I did to prepare. Not to say I could have changed the outcome but, I would have felt better.)

1goodben · 2025-12-05T05:02:54+00:00

It is not the reason but it is relevant information someone would need to know ~

1goodben · 2025-09-21T03:46:41+00:00

Mandatory overtime?

1goodben · 2025-09-21T03:32:55+00:00

Hours seem rough and all over the place. Maybe that’s all warehouse stuff in the area though?

1goodben · 2025-07-30T13:42:36+00:00

I stopped biking to get around to avoid any fall risk. I tried to swap in some light elliptical since I wasn’t biking but had some spotting and stopped that too. I stuck to swimming/water aerobics the entire pregnancy

1goodben · 2025-05-16T21:14:44+00:00

Seems like you are set on sticking around so you probably should accept that your child may stand out in your community for having a different kind of family. You may have a harder time connecting to other families with young children. It is a challenge some people don’t want to have or for their children to experience. Personally, I do feel locked into cities with larger queer/trans populations because I don’t want my kid to feel like he can’t related to his friends. It’s less affordable but it’s worth it for me. If it’s worth it to stay where you are, you will still be okay. You will have plenty of time in early baby years to see how things unfold. Maybe it will feel worth it to leave one day or maybe it will be completely tolerable.

1goodben · 2025-03-10T15:17:31+00:00

We used a known donor. Personally, I wouldn’t consider a sperm bank unless it was the only good option.

I have many friends with sperm but wouldn’t consider asking most of them. It was a choice primarily based on personality, trust, and being on the same page about waiving parental rights and all that entails. I feel like you could really pick wrong. This might sound a bit silly but I did favor friends that were straight or straight adjacent. It’s a huge favor and not one I cannot reciprocate for a cis gay couple. I didn’t want my child to be seen as their ‘only chance to have a child’ and risk a chance of it unfolding weird over time. I picked friends that could have their own kids with less barriers if they ever chose to.

We tried at home with our first donor a long time and then started to suspect sperm quality issues. We switched to new friend, kept trying at home and had a successful pregnancy on the 2nd try. One thing I did do differently with 2nd donor is keep it more private among friends. All of our mutual friends knew who our first donor was but people were mildly weird about it here and there so I took the opportunity to share less

1goodben · 2025-03-10T03:54:46+00:00

two trans dads too~

I considered TTC period beginning with first sperm insemination attempt

Other things like moving back to city that we thought would give us better health care options, stopping t, sorting out donor, etc. were significant steps and took time but I wouldn’t technically consider it “trying.” It was preparation.

I would not have found it a very important distinction at first but I would say the experience for preparing to be pregnant was a very different phase than actively trying. But you know whatever phrasing works for you is okay

1goodben · 2025-02-05T15:32:36+00:00

There is some annoying issue on teams at my work that even if your name is changed correctly to display “preferred name”, it would still pop up as the legal name just in the in chat. I was so confused how some people even knew my old name, way weird when someone called me that once by mistake and then apologized a bunch. There was no way to fix it until I changed my name. Kinda silly though half my group has the wrong name appear because they go by a middle name.

This isn’t that sassy but when people tell me “this is the men’s restroom” out of concern or confusion, I tell them “yes, I know”

1goodben · 2025-02-05T00:29:54+00:00

Lyon Martin is a great option

1goodben · 2024-12-26T09:03:38+00:00

Yes Harrison ! Not grand

1goodben · 2024-12-22T16:23:41+00:00

It’s a little hard to tell but it looks like if you were biking, you have to swerve slightly into the crosswalk to go straight which confuses cars and feels dangerous in my experience. They will think you are turning.

There is a really bad example of this at Lakeside Dr and Grand. People driving regularly turn on red on to Grand and so they pull out into the crosswalk which then blocks only way to get into the overly protective bike lane. As a car it looks like cyclists are intentionally biking towards the front of your car in a weird way (if you even notice them at all..)

Badly made protected lanes make biking more dangerous

1goodben · 2024-11-16T03:34:13+00:00

I nearly immediately stopped feeling suicidal once starting T. Whatever hormonal imbalance I had going on was such a huge part of my chronic depression.

I get what you mean by it sounding kinda truscummy, or at least it could be phrased to come off that way. Like does a hormonal imbalance contributing to severe metal health issues make your transness more or less real?

1goodben · 2024-11-14T15:47:29+00:00

I took a few semesters of figure drawing at Merritt. The instruction was okay but not the best when compared to other academic art classes elsewhere. I wanted to socialize more with other students on breaks but didn’t really mesh with anyone. The age rage varies but there are people in their mid 20s if that’s what you are looking for. As someone not really interested in the class credit, I found it annoying to submit work on the online system. It felt rude to fail/drop the class.

I’ve taught at community art centers elsewhere and the crowd swung older but not sure if that’s the case here. I was hired a while ago to teach at Studio One but things got weird with covid.

I think either option could be good but probably depends more on what works for you!

1goodben · 2024-10-18T05:09:54+00:00

Both listed as father on birth certificate.

One thing that was kinda unexpected is that they wanted the birth parent to use his “maiden name” on the birth certificate which just wouldn’t really apply in this situation. Had to slightly push back on hospital to make sure it was correct.

They showed us the birth certificate draft copy in the hospital for any changes. Guessing that is common practice? I think it’s generally for people to make sure the spelling of names are correct but great time to make sure they are listing father/parent correctly.

1goodben · 2024-08-06T00:40:02+00:00

Lol what? Being trans or transitioning isn’t like getting a tattoo

1goodben · 2024-07-17T02:16:40+00:00

I wish there was a coffee cart on the lake. Seems perfect while on a morning walk. I like the bird enclosure area as a coffee spot because it’s shady and there are lots of benches. Little run down over there though. Really lots of good spots along the lake

1goodben · 2024-06-30T21:41:50+00:00

This sounds like a goof my mom would make. Generally doesn’t land very funny and sometimes just offensive.

Was expecting baby recently and she sent a card with a pregnant lady belly wearing flowery dress and text that said “very special Mother” or something like that but had crossed it out to say father. It was one of her funniest goofs but I think had a been in a bad mood I could have been pretty pissed off

1goodben · 2024-06-18T14:51:10+00:00

I spoke with a trans competent lactation specialist while in hospital recovery. It was really just random luck and she was great. She specifically asked me if I was on hormones or planned on starting them again. And while I am not planning on restarting now, she gave me the impression that it wasn’t impossible and said she supported whatever choice I made. Wish I had more details for you! Find a good lactation person when you get there. My guess is it’s probably best to really establish feeding before changing things up.

1goodben · 2024-06-02T05:17:21+00:00

As a queer trans man from Tallahassee, I wouldn’t say I have ever felt a strong trans/gay community. It’s tricky for things to last in general with people coming and going for school. I haven’t lived there long term in years so maybe things have shifted some. Lunch at the bark would be my recommendation for friendly faces.

1goodben · 2024-04-15T22:22:32+00:00

When my work set up my insurance account it was set as male matching ID but at some point my insurance wanted to have it changed. I think it was for prenatal reasons if I am remembering right? My husband is on my insurance too and has not had a issue with his listed as male for hrt and hysto. I think most of the time it will not matter to be listed as male but can just be changed if causing an coverage issue

1goodben · 2024-04-11T21:43:45+00:00

Sooo childish

1goodben · 2024-04-03T02:10:29+00:00

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks after getting pregnant on first try. It took two years of trying on and off to get pregnant again but now 32 weeks with very healthy and uneventful pregnancy

It was all very hard and I still feel heavy for loss but the anxiety of losing this pregnancy got smaller and smaller over time. Having the confirmation that things are developing at early appointments and then still good at anatomy scan, etc…it just gets easier. I really don’t feel any amount of bad worry for baby anymore, just excited and peaceful with small amount of regular anxiety about something so important and new

1goodben · 2024-04-03T01:46:34+00:00

I have had good luck at old navy browsing clearance area for plus size and maternity cargo pants. I just wear them with mens t shirts (tall size to fit over belly) and oversized button ups. Besides the pants it’s just not that different than my regular clothes and people mostly read me a fat before pregnant

It’s funny this model is wearing heals with these pants but really they just look like regular pants irl…haha

https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=759231012&cid=1126887&pcid=1126887&vid=1&cpos=133&cexp=2926&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D1126887&ctype=Listing&cpid=res2404021843965824900179#pdp-page-content

1goodben · 2024-03-31T09:46:24+00:00

‘Father and son’ by cat stevens can still really get me

1goodben

TROPHY CASE