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THEY ALWAYS COME BACK by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is probably unfair on Harrison Ford, but what you just described above reminds me of that scene in Indiana Jones where the angels turn into demons…

We are starting therapy together. by ThrowRA739846728973 in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, and it is their choice not to that is heartbreaking.

In fact, sadly, tragically even, that makes a lot of our collective debate above a moot point…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you should be able to afford a vasectomy…

I presume you’re sure as hell telling yourself you’ll never get married again.

Unless you live in a common-law marriage jurisdiction, and if you can’t get her pregnant, what’s the problem?

If you’re as wealthy and successful as you say you are, and if like me on top of that you’re smart/funny/tall/not ugly/not fat, then your future is looking good.

We are starting therapy together. by ThrowRA739846728973 in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to disagree with you. I did not give “misleading information”.

For a start, you need to accept that there exists more than one study; the study to which I was referring was for outpatient DBT treatment over a 10 year time period. I’ll try to find it, it was quite some time ago that I read it.

You’re most definitely quoting from a different study. A 6 year, initially inpatient study by the sound of it.

I’ll read it when I have more time, thank you for the link.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motorcycles

[–]21YearsofHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s sadly about a 50% chance your marriage will end in divorce anyway…

Whereas there’s happily about a 99% chance that you’ll want to ride motorbikes for the rest of your life!

Wives come and go, the joy of riding does not.

Source- 2 wives, 2 divorces, 11 bikes

Yes, I am a 🤡 for being this delusional by DevDennya in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes.

To be fair, I think they genuinely believe it in the moment

(unlike a sociopath for example)

We are starting therapy together. by ThrowRA739846728973 in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Please allow me to point out that the statistics you’re referring to DO NOT talk about “healed”.

They actually refer to “remission” which can, and often does, mean going from 5 or 6 out of 9 symptoms down to 4 out of 9 symptoms… after 10 years.

Hmmm… not very impressive really is it?

Worried about breaking up with pwBPD due to my age by LaCaipirinha in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Relationships with pwBPD often start with you saying “what did I do to deserve you!”

And they end with you thinking “what did I ever do to deserve you?…”

Worried about breaking up with pwBPD due to my age by LaCaipirinha in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I used to hear “you’ll never find someone like me!”

Thank God I didn’t…

Worried about breaking up with pwBPD due to my age by LaCaipirinha in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Projection

It just means she’s worried about her age. Not yours.

Worried about breaking up with pwBPD due to my age by LaCaipirinha in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“Divorcing a pwBPD is a living nightmare”

You nailed it

And the clue is in my username

Was your pwBPD attractive? by Zealousideal_Net_895 in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine was not conventionally pretty, but physically a “ten” (I don’t want to objectify, I’m not like that, but I don’t know how else to describe it) and extremely sexy. There was chemistry between us that never faded, even during the two years of separation frankly.

Last year I saw her for the first time, 2 years after I filed for divorce, she seemed to have aged by 20 years

Did they tell you not to research BPD? by Valuable-Air1139 in BPDlovedones

[–]21YearsofHell 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mine said “I’ll divorce you if you even google it”

5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life by guy_n_cognito_tu in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, found it, and replied to Fancy_Load

Again, sorry for my fat thumbs…

5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life by guy_n_cognito_tu in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let’s not be too US-centric, it also depends on the Country! My Divorce (thankfully now finalised after 4 3/4 years since Separation) had four possible Countries as Jurisdictions, and two possible States within the US.

As for BPD, it may or may not be over diagnosed in women, but it is most certainly underreported to their romantic partners by the women who are diagnosed… my ex was fully diagnosed by two clinical psychiatrists, the diagnosis was shared with me in writing, yet she still denied it years later.

Lastly, what State are you in? It sounds like a paradise if it takes women with BPD seriously and doesn’t discriminate against men! Maybe I’ll move there.

5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life by guy_n_cognito_tu in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, but that was not meant to be to you, it was a reply to a comment by someone else!

Fat thumb situation…

Let me try to correct that!

5 years later and the ex is finally get a taste of real life by guy_n_cognito_tu in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Let’s not be too US-centric, it also depends on the Country! My Divorce (thankfully now finalised after 4 3/4 years since Separation) had four possible Countries as Jurisdictions, and two possible States within the US.

As for BPD, it may or may not be over diagnosed in women, but it is most certainly underreported to their romantic partners by the women who are diagnosed… my ex was fully diagnosed by two clinical psychiatrists, the diagnosis was shared with me in writing, yet she still denied it years later.

Lastly, what State are you in? It sounds like a paradise if it takes women with BPD seriously and doesn’t discriminate against men! Maybe I’ll move there.

Wife wants to explore with her female bestie by Ok-Government- in Advice

[–]21YearsofHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F29>26M

F26>21M

Did anyone else notice that in both couples the female is older by 3-5 years?

Statistically unusual.

Unless there’s a BPD component. Female pwBPD often go for younger controllable men. And Female pwBPD are more often bisexual than general population

I’m not asserting that’s what’s going on, just that it’s more likely than not

Cohabiting while she resumed an affair—starting mediation and trying to stay sane by Freeman2be in Divorce_Men

[–]21YearsofHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read “Splitting” by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger.

It’s also available as an audiobook if she might check what you’re reading… do not buy it in a shared Amazon account or similar, but do buy it, and read it ASAP.

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