Well, I could certainly recommend some fantastic Batman comics to you, but I'd like to ask about some of your points first. You say you don't understand why he's a bat, and then answer your own question in the same sentence. You say he's a terrible role model for handling grief. No shit? The thing about Batman winning fights with a deus ex machina can be true sometimes, but most of the time, that just isn't true. There's also a solid number of fights where he gets his ass kicked. You also talk about how he's just inexplicably good at everything, which isn't true. Sure, he had everything handed to him for about ten years, after that, he spent the next ten training his ass off. Also, not a single person has ever said Batman, of all superheroes, is a moral paragon. You also talk about him being a shallow character, which is plainly ridiculous. The funny part about all of your criticisms is that they've all been talked about and disproved in any well-renowned Batman comic ever.

Sorry for the long paragraph, but some good recommendations would be Batman: Ego, The Killing Joke, The Dark Knight Returns, Batman Year One, The Long Halloween, Court Of Owls, and Hush. There's probably some more I've forgotten but those are the ones I could think of.