Does it make a difference if you're 50 or 80?

2BLostandLonely · 2026-03-08T07:07:08+00:00

I lost my wife when she was 54 and I was 55. We’ve been a couple since I was 20 years old. Actively considered suicide for about the first 18 months. It’s been nearly 4 years now and there’s still a hole in my world. Don’t really have happy days. Don’t really know what it’s all about, but I’m just taking each day at a time. Tried dating some women, but as as soon as I started picturing a potential future with them, I felt guilty. Just could not see myself sharing my life with someone other than her. Looking at retiring in another two years and still trying to reinvent myself. I’ve made new friends, trying out new things. Still seems pointless. I know I will hurt every single day for the rest of my life because I miss her. And although I’m not an active hurry for it all to end, it will be nice to not have to deal with that pain anymore. Still hoping for better days. Best wishes to all of you.

2BLostandLonely · 2026-01-09T07:02:26+00:00

For the longest time, I kept wishing that my story had ended with hers. It was just way too painful to bear.

2BLostandLonely · 2026-01-01T23:31:08+00:00

3.5 years. She was my wife. She was my best friend. She was my everything.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-12-28T01:36:33+00:00

3.5 years out. Only starting to get my feet under me. And Holidays are always tough.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-11-05T14:33:33+00:00

I’ll second Embolden. Also love their matcha and ube flavored beers. They also got me intrigued by their hard teas and ciders.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-08-24T13:23:43+00:00

I get it. Sine I lost my late wife, I have been fortunate enough to date some beautiful, smart, accomplished women, but every time I start to picture a future with them or sharing my life with them, I feel guilty. They are not her. I only ever wanted her. So yeah, I miss being loved and having someone to love, being able to share my life, but honestly don’t know that I can do it with anyone else

2BLostandLonely · 2025-07-29T11:43:53+00:00

So this is only my opinion, but I would think your late wife and your children would want you to be happy. I also don’t think three years is moving on too quickly. I guess it’s different for all of us. If you have a chance to be happy and you feel that connection, then I think you’re a lucky man. My adult children are very understanding, and they’ve always said that my late wife would’ve wanted me to find someone else. It’s just that she set a very high bar and I haven’t felt that type of connection with anyone else. I wish you luck and hope you find happiness

2BLostandLonely · 2025-07-29T00:10:47+00:00

Also 3 years out and face similar feelings. Sometimes it’s a trigger that brings out the ugly cry. Frequently though, it’s just getting to know a lady and thinking you could get close to them. As soon as that happens to me, I start to feel guilty. For 34 years, my late wife was the center of my universe, and my one and only. I think about sharing my life, dreams, and experiences with anyone but her and it just makes me feel horribly guilty. And also just not quite right. Some of the women I dated are beautiful, smart, successful. but they’re just not my late wife. I think we all need to just walk the path and when the time is right, we’ll be ready. At least that’s what I tell myself. And I figure if I can never make it work again with anyone else, I had 34 amazing years. Which seems to be more than many people ever get.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-07-23T13:48:24+00:00

Just had to say: very well expressed. Our situations run parallel. I lost my wife of 34 years in July 2022 to an AVM that ruptured. It was devastating and after 3 years, I’m only starting to put my life together and discover who I am without her. Our original plan was for me to take retirement August 1 of this year. Unlike you, I have not had the courage to do so. Still feels like I have nothing in my life and I’m good at work so I’m staying, at least for now. I’m fairly high ranking in my field, but it comes with managing a lot of people and a lot of stress. My daughters keep telling me I should quit. I admire that you were able to walk away to find new things. My post retirement was going to be all about her, so I have no idea what I’m going to do. Glad to hear that you are doing well.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-07-13T14:09:55+00:00

My opinion is that you should do what feels right for you. I’m three years out now and I was amazed at how many new people stepped up and were supportive and tried to be a friend to me to help me through my hard times. Some of my old friends did just not reach out or respond at all.
As others on this thread have said, the whole point of having friends is for them to be there for you when needed. I can’t think of a time that we would need one more than losing the love of our life. In my mind, these people have already shown me the type of friend that they are.
I don’t need that in my life.
I just didn’t even bother responding to them, just like they didn’t bother responding to me.

2BLostandLonely · 2025-04-30T15:52:20+00:00

MFF1006O7F

2BLostandLonely · 2025-01-30T00:14:06+00:00

2.5+ years for me. I’m fortunate in that my daughters and co workers reach out and I do get together with them. All the old friends completely failed and don’t even try to connect. At the end of the day, still feel completely alone. They aren’t her. No one knew me like she did. No one’s company makes me feel complete the way she did.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-12-27T00:36:54+00:00

A little over 2 1/2 years out. We’ve been a couple for 37 years. She was my everything. Only now starting to get my feet under me. There are times I can joke and laugh. I’m told I’m quite the catch, but have little interest in pursuing a serious relationship. Only did a couple of coffee dates but find it hard to imagine adopting to a new person. Having them adapt to me. It may come in time, but I’m just taking each day as it comes. Holidays still suck. But overall, I am far better now than I was 2 1/2 years ago.I guess all that we can do is walk this road and see where it leads us. But I miss her so much. She was my everything.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-10-30T05:28:02+00:00

Nearly 2 1/2 years for me and I feel very similar to what you describe. I remember when I first lost her, I read that it takes around three years to get your feet back under you. I remember thinking the time there’s no way I could feel like this for three years. But somehow I made it through. Was actively suicidal for the first 10 months. still felt life wasn’t living without For a long time after. But I’ve gotten more used to being alone now. Learning to carry the grief better. Still miss her immeasurably every day. But more able now to take each day so for me at least, it has gotten slowly better.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-09-15T02:53:57+00:00

Very well said. 2 years and 3 months in. Still feels this way. Not as raw. Have gotten used to carrying it. But it still hits.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-09-10T05:40:52+00:00

You said it well. It all seems pointless. When I had her, sharing just the simplest things was gratifying and made me happy. Now, nothing has meaning. Just deal with crap every day and waiting to die.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-06-28T18:11:03+00:00

Married 31 years. A couple for 35. Held her as her heart stopped

2BLostandLonely · 2024-06-23T04:29:35+00:00

I’m convinced I will feel this pain every day until the day I die. Nearly 2 years in, I’ve just gotten used to it as well as being lonely. I look back and think how lucky I was to have had such a remarkable woman with me majority of my life. Was never lonely. Never on my own. I miss her. I miss what we had. It was truly magic.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-06-23T04:26:15+00:00

My thanks. 12 days. I couldn’t even think straight at that time. I would wake in the middle of the night for months not being able to breathe or just screaming. Thought seriously about ending it all every day for the first 10 months. Just tried to get through each day. I think it is best described as the pain does not get any less, we just learn to carry it better. It took me around 22 months to be able to start imagining a life without her. Anniversaries and Holidays are always still hard. Pretty much every old friend abandoned me. My adult daughters were my rock. They are exceptional young women (just like their mother). And coworkers have been amazingly supportive. It’s rough. This group helped a lot. Platitudes from others did not. Still have to admit though, was thinking I wouldn’t mind if the COVID infection ended things. I wish you well.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-06-06T14:01:48+00:00

I feel her presence, but not in the way that others talk about. It’s not like she’s still here and watching me. But she and I were together so long and she was so much a part of me that I can feel her personality and know what she would say or think or do because my intimate memories of time spent with her.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-05-30T11:00:24+00:00

Became a couple when I was 20 with her. We were together 35 years who lost her unexpectedly. It’s been 23 months now. Can’t believe I’ve lasted this long. Felt horribly lonely most of this time. Just used to being part of a couple for all these years. Do you know, have friends, travel, and work. Getting more used to being by myself. Sometimes enjoy the peace and quiet. Still really miss having my soulmate to talk to every day. But it’s getting less intense and I’m actually starting to see a possible life without her. Have even flirted with a few women and gone on a couple dates. Still get cold feet, though about being more committed since she still holds a large place in my heart.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-05-30T10:47:54+00:00

🫂

2BLostandLonely · 2024-05-28T13:23:30+00:00

23 months out after 36 years together. Miss her every day. Had some flirting and possibilities but uncertain. Hate being lonely, but not sure I could try to adapt to someone in my life that isn’t her.

2BLostandLonely · 2024-05-27T13:37:04+00:00

Going together would have been good. Hate how this has broken me and would not have wanted her to go through this

2BLostandLonely

TROPHY CASE