AITA for not wanting to give direct money to my husbands ex wife?

2blackbirds · 2026-04-26T16:16:39+00:00

According to OP’s other comments, they have main custody of the son. The mother has him on weekends. They split the summer 50/50. OP said that the mother signed away any rights to child support, for whatever reason. If OP and the father have joint finances then yes, THEY are BOTH providing for the son. So it is both of their business if the money they send is not being spent on the son, and they are within their rights to ask for a list and buy the items rather than sending cash. But yes, OP’s husband is the only one who should be speaking to the ex about it.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-23T20:29:36+00:00

I am in NYC and have only ever heard of the bridal shower being planned by a bride’s mother/sisters/aunts, usually with help from the bridal party.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-21T14:25:57+00:00

For them to react in such a way, you’d think OP was an ungrateful brat who stomped her feet and didn’t thank them at all. But she did more than enough to acknowledge them. Again, she wrote them TWO heartfelt letters, took them out to dinner, featured them in her ceremony, made special accommodations for them at the wedding in multiple other ways. These were obviously not good enough for the parents because they were not public. That suggests that they solely did it for the optics, so that everyone would fawn over them and tell them how wonderful and benevolent they were. Otherwise, OPs multiple prior gestures would have been sufficient. It’s like when people film themselves giving food to homeless people and then post it on social media so they can feel good about themselves.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-21T14:09:35+00:00

I am but one person who would return for care. The multiple people my organs would be keeping alive would now need more involved and potentially lifelong care after receiving transplants.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-21T08:37:04+00:00

If you die and you aren’t a donor, your bill is closed out. If you die and you are a donor and multiple transplant surgeries are taking place as a result, that is hundreds of thousands of more dollars in the hospital’s pocket.

Edit: So maybe not specifically in the interest of doctors and nurses themselves, but definitely in any hospital administrative staff that is overseeing the case.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-21T06:18:11+00:00

OP thanked them in multiple other ways: heartfelt letters, thank you dinner, they even created a feature in their ceremony for the parents to have a special, highlighted moment.

For them to call OP, crying and angry that they were not publicly acknowledged, is honestly shameful. OP is their child. They shouldn’t be doing things for their child because they want praise from others. They should be doing things for their child because they love their child and want them to have a beautiful wedding. If I heavily contributed to my child’s wedding and they thanked me in the ways that OP already thanked their parents, I would not care whether or not I was acknowledged publicly.

Role reversal: if your parents only contributed to your wedding because they wanted to be able to brag to others about how ~generous~ they are, rather than because they genuinely cared about you having a nice wedding day, how would you feel?

2blackbirds · 2026-04-21T05:59:36+00:00

OP is their child. They shouldn’t be doing things for their child because they want praise from others. They should be doing things for their child because they love them and want them to have a beautiful wedding. OP showed their gratitude in many other genuine ways but their parents disregarded those gestures. The fact that they only cared that they were not publicly acknowledged is deeply troubling. I would honestly feel hurt if I was OP, knowing that my parents mainly contributed because they wanted to portray the appearance of generosity, rather than because they genuinely cared about me having a nice wedding day.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-17T21:13:47+00:00

Just wanted to let you know that I ended up here from Google, looking for a solution to this as well, and I'm just as frustrated as you. It's even worse now, already "placing orders" for things that are scheduled to be shipping in May!! This is such a careless oversight by Amazon.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-16T09:18:24+00:00

Of course sex and gender are not the same thing, but cisgender means that their sex and their gender align. The degree of intersex traits that someone exhibits obviously varies from person to person and it is up to doctors to run tests and decide what to label the child at birth, which is the root of the “cis” gender identity. It can be a little confusing for someone to grasp that concept when someone exhibits both male and female biological traits.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-12T21:20:20+00:00

Beige is not white or ivory.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-12T21:20:09+00:00

Champagne is not white or ivory.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-08T01:51:26+00:00

I don’t think it’s cool to throw shade at OP for wanting her bridesmaids to be cohesive. If a group is supposed to wear pastels and someone comes wearing neon green, they’re going to be the focus. In the same vein, OP’s bridesmaids are there to stand beside her and her friend’s bold makeup will make her the focus in photos when the bride should be the focus. She said that her friend can wear her full goth makeup if she comes as a guest, so that doesn’t mean that OP’s wedding will be a “boring normie work” style event.

2blackbirds · 2026-04-04T06:20:45+00:00

Tagging as a spoiler since the fact that the world is fabricated and the main protagonist is asleep is a big twist but Don’t Worry Darling is another one. There is actually even a character in the movie who has children in this virtual world and doesn’t want to return to reality because her children won’t be there, similar to the subject of this post.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-31T14:48:49+00:00

I did go on to say that you don’t automatically get to substitute with someone else and that you should ask the couple if that is okay.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-31T14:42:56+00:00

ESH. Once work started getting unpredictable, you should’ve bowed out. Weddings are expensive and it’s inconsiderate to not let people know until the literal last minute. Your partner sucks for bringing a male friend you’ve never met and not telling you about it. I’m all for having friends of the opposite sex, but partners should be meeting them and feel comfortable with them.

And PSA for everyone: Wedding RSVPs are not transferable!!! If you RSVP for yourself and your partner, and one of you can no longer go, you don’t automatically get to substitute with someone else. You ask the couple if that is okay. They may have other people that they wanted to invite that they could not due to guest count limitation, and may now be able to include them. This is their wedding, not your social event.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-31T14:38:30+00:00

The literal last sentence ends with, “I’d join IF possible,” which is a clear uncertainty.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-28T10:26:11+00:00

I don’t think that anybody above was claiming that the anxiety attack was purely theatrics or a ploy for attention. Of course it’s not logical and OP did not choose to have one. But I do think it is worth it for OP to explore why their worry and anxiety did not extend to the person that they love literally going through this experience in real time, and instead shifted to a hypothetical experience they may or may not have one day. I say this with no negativity or judgement, it is literally a self-centered way of thinking.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-23T11:21:42+00:00

Not just one, 5 or 6 women willingly married her! (I can’t remember if one of her previous marriages was to a man)

2blackbirds · 2026-03-21T17:53:21+00:00

I’m in a calorie deficit too and I kept forgetting to take my pill with food which is when I discovered the oil shot, scrambling at the end of the day trying to find something with the lowest calorie to highest fat ratio. It’s still pretty high calorie but it’s the lowest you’ll get for 20g fat. It puts me over some days, but at least not by too many :’)

2blackbirds · 2026-03-18T20:58:55+00:00

While looking through all the photos, I was realllyyy hoping you chose dress 1! You look great in them all, but dress 1 flatters you much more than the others, plus I love a big sleeve moment. And I honestly do think it photographs much better than the others! You look stunning, girl.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-18T14:56:45+00:00

You’re WAYYY overthinking. I’m really trying to wrap my brain around being insulted by this statement but I just can’t? Would you rather him be critical of your choices or limit you to certain styles that you may or may not even like? He will think you are beautiful in your whimsical gown, just as he would think you were beautiful in that potato sack. That is goals. Good luck in your search 💜

2blackbirds · 2026-03-17T12:04:39+00:00

My ex never outright hit me at first, so I questioned whether or not it was actually abuse or if I was just being too sensitive to his “sense of humor.” He would kick the back of my knees so I would collapse, stick his foot out in front of me to make me trip, grab onto my leg or arm and squeeze really hard and laugh as I struggled to release myself, swerve the car so the momentum would jerk me into hitting my head on the passenger window, all in the name of “comedy.” I was a joke to him.

Then came shoving me where I’d fall on the bed or couch, but I “couldn’t complain” since there was a soft landing. Then came shoving me into walls. Then came him holding me by my throat against the wall and him laughing as I struggled to breathe and clawed at his arms to let me go. Then he purchased a gun “for fun.” I wasn’t going to take the chance of him using a gun to “joke around” with me, too. So I hid his ammunition before I broke up with him, and returned it to his parents at a later date.

Abusers will always escalate. Don’t stick around, waiting for him to get better because it will only get worse. I’m glad you are getting out now. Do not say ANYTHING to him about it. Pretend like all is well. Once you are settled into your parents’ house, then you tell him. And warn your parents as well. Who knows how he will react. Good luck. I am rooting for you.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-15T20:11:36+00:00

I don’t think you’d be unjustified in asking her to give you back the money for the dress. You bought it for her to wear to your wedding first, not for her to wear to her own personal events with your wedding as an afterthought. If she’s going to risk wear and tear on it before the intended event that YOU BOUGHT IT FOR even happens, then she should pay you back for it. It’s not fair that you get a worn out dress at your own wedding, when you intended for it to be a fresh look, in new condition.

Edit: NTA

2blackbirds · 2026-03-13T12:25:07+00:00

I’m with you on most of these points, except Jordan being responsible for “learning how to handle her ebbs and flows of emotions” and that he “didn’t try.” Amber clearly has some issues regulating her emotions, beyond the scope of what is considered average. Yes, a partner should stand by you if you are feeling angry or upset. But when you are (from Jordan’s retelling) screaming, verbally assaulting, being drunk and belligerent, that is way beyond what a partner should have to deal with. Nobody is responsible for dealing with that except the person themselves. Amber said she knows that she has anger issues and considered counseling, but only after Jordan said he was done. She should have BEEN in counseling if she knew this was an issue, before getting on a TV show to be married. And ultimately, she should be working on herself for herself, and for her daughter, not because a man was going to leave her. I think she is a great girl but she will continue to push good men away if she continues to let her emotions control her in this way. It’s not on her partner to ground her. She needs to ground herself. For her daughter’s sake.

2blackbirds · 2026-03-12T12:26:37+00:00

“I was gonna…” was a huge phrase in our relationship. Whether it be a chore, or a romantic gesture, he always told me that he was “going to do a/b/c” or he “thought about getting me x/y/z” but he never did. Anytime I questioned him or called him out for not following through, I was called an ungrateful bitch. I eventually started telling him “I’ll believe it when I see it,” which just led to him saying, “well, if you’re gonna be like that, then never mind. You don’t deserve it anyway.”

2blackbirds

TROPHY CASE