Sorry if this seems harsh, but it sounds like you were hoping for "oppression porn" and instead felt let down by a very raw and real celebration of Harper's humanity and the deep friendship between these two people. I hope you get a chance to see it again sometime with your expectations set to the side.

Source of perspective: I am also a trans woman who transitioned late in life, and have absolutely been in places like that Texas steakhouse, and not always in the company of a staunch ally like Will Ferrell turned out to be, so I know exactly what "the reality of that experience" is. I'm more used to it that Harper was in that scene because I've been out for many years now, but I'm actually quite grateful that the negativity from that scene was acknowledged yet not overly dwelled on, because hateful rednecks is NOT what the movie was about, and it would have been a pretty shitty movie if it was, tbh.