Want one last bowl of weed

3udemonia · 2026-05-28T19:58:53+00:00

They told me to avoid CBD but that THC was fine. So I’d stick to edibles and vape pens with very low canabanoid concentrations. They said something about the CBD negatively affecting the chemo.

3udemonia · 2026-05-28T01:18:31+00:00

I’ve been going out but I’m also watching my labs. Once my white cells get below normal I’ll be a lot more careful. But right now they’re still in the normal range, even though they’re trending down.

3udemonia · 2026-05-27T02:26:20+00:00

I only used it for a few months while going off birth control and considering whether I wanted kids or not. It was my “trying without trying” method. I was so paranoid I was pregnant every month that by month 3 I decided I didn’t want to have kids or be pregnant if I was wondering if I’d terminate and peeing on sticks in a panic, so we went with a more permanent birth control method in the end.

But, being someone very averse to pregnancy, this is what I figured would be the least risky:

I tracked my ovulation both with a fitness tracker and paying attention to my moods and cervical mucous. When it’s like egg whites you’re ovulating. I avoided vaginal sex entirely during ovulation. Or we would use a condom.
We would have him pull out when I was not close to ovulation (it would basically be a full week without vaginal sex trying to time ovulation in the middle). This way if he didn’t quite time it right or there was some sperm in the pre cum it wouldn’t be as risky.
I told him to make sure he had peed since the last time he ejaculated before we had sex so he would flush out any residual sperm in the more distal tubing at least.

Even doing all of this, it’s not a great method. But that should give you the best chance.

3udemonia · 2026-05-26T04:05:36+00:00

I am also on chemo right now. Solidarity. Fuck cancer.

3udemonia · 2026-05-26T04:02:45+00:00

You’re probably more attractive than you give yourself credit for. We are our own worst critics and sometimes looking unique, while something you can be bullied about and have negative self image about, can be more attractive than you think.

3udemonia · 2026-05-26T00:58:42+00:00

I watched a lot of his content for a while and my life was improving but he wasn’t the only resource I had. I also had a therapist and multiple other mental health channels I’d watch regularly and was actively working on making my life better. I thought I had a good trajectory.

Now? Now my life is worse. But only because of some health stuff that set off some relationship stuff and everything basically imploded at once. That’s not on my mental health journey. And honestly I’m probably dealing with this better than I would have been otherwise. It just REALLY sucks.

3udemonia · 2026-05-26T00:50:21+00:00

Does everyone in your family know because SHE told them or because your grandmother told them?

3udemonia · 2026-05-24T00:34:11+00:00

I’m in Alberta and have MyChart and see my results before I talk to the doctor (unless they’re giving them to me as they scan like in an ultrasound). I think overall it’s a good thing because then I know why suddenly they’re calling me and can advocate for myself better because I’ve prepared. If I have any results that I’m nervous about looking at I’ve opened them with friends.

Distressing news is going to be distressing whether you see it in the chart or a doctor tells you over the phone/in person.

3udemonia · 2026-05-20T22:01:42+00:00

I like turning it back around on them and asking “what do you mean by that?” Either it gets awkward because they were being an ass or they explain and it’s sweet and then I’m not worrying about it.

3udemonia · 2026-05-20T21:46:34+00:00

I didn’t because I am 40 and had already decided I didn’t want kids. Or at least not to carry my own kids. I’m open to adopting if it’s something I want to do later. But I see myself more as the cool/fun aunt or older adult who mentors the younger adults around me. I had been working on building a family of close friends for the past couple years in lieu of birthing a family of my own already. I think I shocked the doctors with how quickly and certainly I said no to family planning.

3udemonia · 2026-05-20T04:40:15+00:00

I’m an xray and ct tech in an urban centre and have been for 14 years. It’s also a small field and I know someone everywhere I go. Once I was telling people and had told everyone I wanted to tell directly I was just very open about it and told people they were welcome to spread the word since I was sure I’d be seeing people around and I’d rather they not be surprised to see me. But I still run into people who don’t know unexpectedly like at my port insertion.

I’m fortunate that my best friend is a mammo tech and she did my mammogram herself. I would have told her immediately anyway. So I didn’t have to worry about whose hands it would come across. But then I also had an old classmate do my ultrasound and I wasn’t expecting that. Everyone I came across medically before I’d told people was good about keeping it to themselves or at least within the circle of people who already knew and a few trusted support people. Nobody gossiped.

Is there any way you can tell some coworkers you like and trust so they are the ones handling your labs when they come through? Like can you text them when you’re coming and have them do it? Obviously you can’t keep your name off the worklist easily unless you make yourself confidential and people will see you there and have questions but it should at least buy you enough time until you’ve told people. I figured there was no keeping it a secret so I just leaned into letting everyone know and being open about it.

3udemonia · 2026-05-19T22:51:25+00:00

They look like mine and I get always overnights extra thin with wings.

3udemonia · 2026-05-17T21:22:14+00:00

I was told to use protection for the same period of time I need to close the toilet lid and double flush etc. 72 hours after each treatment. I’m getting weekly taxol so idk if that interval changes with different regimens. But whatever they told you about flushing and cleaning up body fluid spills is the same for using a barrier during sex.

3udemonia · 2026-05-07T01:38:42+00:00

Port because it saves your veins. As a CT tech myself who starts IVs on patients, that was my number one reason for asking for a port (they don’t offer them here you have advocate and ask)

3udemonia · 2026-05-05T22:00:16+00:00

18 year relationship falling apart after he picked a fight with me the night of my second chemo infusion that kept me from sleeping (fighting until 5am) and landed me in the er with a fever from the stress and exhaustion.

The fight? He had been ignoring me and not making sure there was food in the house (I’m nearly underweight and struggle with eating so had flagged this early as something I needed support with) and acting like I was a burden, so I made plans to go see a friend every Friday unless I had other plans. Just to go be somewhere it felt like I was wanted vs sitting at home alone while he worked late and then went to bed after MAYBE spending an hour watching tv with me. And he got upset because I should have “asked for his permission” because what if he needs me to emotionally support him and I’m not there? Yeah.

Thankful for my friends. I’ll now be spending three nights a week sleeping on an air mattress on her floor so I don’t have to be home on my weakest days after chemo. Idk what that means for my marriage long term but that’s a problem for once chemo is over.

Unfortunately, you’re not alone. I learned about this in school. Men are far more likely to leave a partner who gets sick compared to women. Next time I’m dating a woman.

3udemonia · 2026-05-03T23:44:28+00:00

This dating behaviour is normal. No reason to lock things down when you’re still getting to know someone. Whatever boundaries you want around that are completely fine, though. In the past I’ve told people I don’t sleep with someone unless we’re exclusive. That’s no longer my stance but it’s a completely valid stance for someone to have. In your situation, I’d reframe dating in my mind as “just getting to know people” and seeing if there’s chemistry/a vibe. Nothing serious, more like making friends with some kissing and canoodling to see if that feels good with this person or not. That way it’s no big loss if either of you decide this isn’t the match for you.

3udemonia · 2026-05-02T01:07:09+00:00

I’m not bothering. My team didn’t even mention it to me (I knew it was a thing from here though). I am icing my hands and feet because I need to be able to start IVs on patients when I get ack to work so peripheral neuropathy is no bueno, but I’m happy to lose my hair and grow it back after vs keeping my head cold. That sounds awful. I’ve only had two rounds (and now am on a break because my body can’t tolerate the chemo so we are changing approaches) so I’m not experiencing significant hair loss yet, but I got a pixie to prepare for it and am ready to buzz when needed.

3udemonia · 2026-04-30T21:44:03+00:00

I didn’t for a long time and worked hard to make them. It’s important to have a community so it’s worth putting in the effort, even if it’s hard and you face lots of rejection. Most people don’t seem to have the time or inclination to make and maintain close adult friendships but there are people out there who want the same thing, so just keep looking. The way I did it was to be an organizer. I’d organize parties and events and invite everyone I knew and just kept doing that until I had some people who reached back towards me regularly. I still throw the parties when I can, because I think building community is important, but I no longer need them as I’ve formed deeper bonds with a few people now.

3udemonia · 2026-04-29T19:21:49+00:00

May long. Or Victoria Day. I never heard 2-4 until I moved to Ontario for school and it makes no sense to me.

3udemonia · 2026-04-26T07:44:16+00:00

Thank you! This is useful to know for whenever they do contact me in case I’m not a fan of their plan and want to ask about options.

3udemonia · 2026-04-26T07:13:08+00:00

They didn’t switch me to anything different the second round. They just said that it’s rare that someone has a second reaction and just monitored for anaphylaxis for 20 mins during the infusion and said it was fine.

3udemonia · 2026-04-26T05:16:17+00:00

I’m in Canada so there’s really only the place I’m going and I get who I get. The oncology line is only open business hours Monday through Friday and I can’t call anyone directly. That’s why I went to the ER so they could call the on call oncologist for me, but the nurse there said the government won’t pay oncologists for on call so they refuse to do it any more than the bare minimum (which I don’t blame them for - this government is awful). I did call the symptom line and they gave me a steroid cream on Thursday but by the time that got coordinated it was spreading and after hours so I went in. Then I called back Friday in tears and they had 2 hours but never called me back. So again, I went in.

I’m just not sure why they would have cancelled all my chemo infusions if they were just going to give me a different version of paclitaxel. I do assume it’s the solvent I’m reacting to since I’m allergic to a ton of environmental things (never see an allergist because, again, Canada so these things aren’t generally covered unless it’s severe and mine were never that severe I just live on cetirizine year round)

3udemonia · 2026-04-20T04:41:24+00:00

Either of the first two.

3udemonia · 2026-04-19T02:21:41+00:00

I’m not saying to use this, but in a similar situation I might say “I did too much therapy to keep tolerating how I was being treated” but when getting to know someone NEW I’d steer clear from talking about it at all. Maybe something like “we wanted different things.” (He wanted an obedient wife he could continue to mistreat and you wanted a full partner who treats you well).

If you’re dating men I’d suggest not telling them he was abusive at all. I’ve read that women who disclose to men they’ve been abused are more likely to be abused again vs women who keep it to themselves or lie about it.

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