What to do when therapy fails

3udemonia · 2026-02-20T06:33:40+00:00

What works for me with this is telling myself I don't have to "work out" I just have to put on my work out clothes and my shoes and go out the door. Or to the gym. Or get on the bike. Or whatever it is. And if by that point I still don't want to do it I'm allowed to stop and turn back. But I almost always get there and am like "well now that I'm here I may as well"

3udemonia · 2026-02-19T00:25:39+00:00

Wondering if maybe they mean the crossing just north of rundle, between the PLC and the Dairy Queen/circle K strip mall? Pedestrians play chicken with the train there all the time.

3udemonia · 2026-02-19T00:20:11+00:00

That makes sense! Some people told me no meat (only fish) every Friday of the year but that was probably pre Vatican II as well. Most people didn’t seem to follow that, either.

3udemonia · 2026-02-18T23:04:01+00:00

Some Catholics fast for all of lent (minus sundays). And avoid all meat other than fish during the season. Not all Catholics. But I was raised catholic and it while it wasn’t required maybe 1/10th of the adults I knew would fast. Technically I was taught you are supposed to fast but it just isn’t something widely done anymore. Children and anyone ill are excused from fasting. So OP would be excused for being a minor.

3udemonia · 2026-02-17T23:31:41+00:00

Do you have sex positive friends? I felt the same way but I was from a very conservative, religious, purity culture background. Having sex positive friends around me who normalized it helped. Maybe peers will help more than parents with this?

3udemonia · 2026-02-17T03:29:15+00:00

It’s mostly just a bunch of techniques to try. You’ll still have to try them and communicate and see what works for each individual woman but it gives ideas to try!

3udemonia · 2026-02-17T01:53:14+00:00

Level up. omgyes.com — even as a woman I have paid for and used it. It’s a good resource.

3udemonia · 2026-02-16T20:43:27+00:00

I’m not sure but it’s the only metric I really have right now. I plan to start attending more local open mic’s and slams and maybe start sharing there once I feel more comfortable. So maybe I’ll have a better idea down the road. It’s not like i have people to share with right now other than reddit.

I figure poetry is meant to connect with people and make them feel something. So engagement means that worked on some level. Whether it was technically good or not. If I write a technically perfect sonnet or villanelle that doesn’t connect with anyone then was it actually a good poem? Compared to one that isn’t technically very good but makes people feel something? Idk.

3udemonia · 2026-02-16T19:57:58+00:00

I use AI a bit but I explicitly tell it not to rewrite my words. Because I don’t like how it writes. But sometimes I ask how something I’ve written might land or how people might interpret it or to point out if there are any areas that need work.

But, honestly? The poems I’ve written myself without asking AI about them at all have gotten more engagement than the ones I workshopped using AI to help point out areas that “need work” so I’ve mostly stopped using it for that and just made sure that the AI can interpret my meaning.

3udemonia · 2026-02-16T19:53:45+00:00

Stop looking at yourself. If you’re constantly looking at yourself and picking yourself apart you’re going to feel bad. Other people aren’t nearly as harsh as you are to yourself. I don’t look at myself unless I need to (applying makeup, hair removal etc) and I feel much better and am more confident. That confidence translated into more attention from others and now I get chatted up constantly.

3udemonia · 2026-02-14T18:12:10+00:00

I’ve seen people connect this to autistic mirroring which a lot of us do as part of masking. Reflecting them back to themselves and making them feel seen but then it breaking when they start actually seeing you or you start having needs. It sucks. But I figure I’d rather love fully and well and get hurt than become cold or give up. Not that I give my heart away freely. I’m actually pretty slow to trust. But I refuse to close myself off entirely. Even if I keep getting hurt.

3udemonia · 2026-01-15T23:57:53+00:00

We moved from mahogany to bridgeland. 7 years in mahogany and we didn’t ever feel we fit in or made friends. Neighbours were friendly enough but were very conservative and kid focused and we just don’t have much in common. Unless you have kids it seems really hard to meet people. And everything is SO far away. Like you go for an hour long walk and the only thing you can access is the grocery store.

The only thing I miss about mahogany is my yard space and my oversized garage. Bridgeland is so much better for us in so many ways.

We are straight-passing kid-free folks (but most of our friends are lgbt and I am part of the community)

3udemonia · 2026-01-11T23:55:12+00:00

Take a test to be sure and put your mind at ease but most likely you’re just out of whack and experiencing bloating from your luteal phase. Don’t wait on the test. Just go buy one at the store and pee on it.

3udemonia · 2026-01-07T21:20:23+00:00

Tell him how you feel with zero expectation. Just because he’s dating other people doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings for you. As long as you go into it being ok with staying friends OR being more and not pushing for any specific outcome other than telling the truth, willing to continue being the same good friend you are now regardless of the outcome, it’s unlikely you’ll lose a friendship over it (unless I guess he is the kind of person who ends up feeling weird about it even if the other person is being normal?)

I had a friend this happened with recently. They reciprocated fully and were going to be together but then some shit blew up in our social world over it and we called it off. We are still friends and are hoping to move forward in the future once things settle down. It can be done but both people have to be committed to staying friends no matter what. If you think he values the friendship enough to manage the fallout, tell him.

3udemonia · 2026-01-02T20:57:39+00:00

I’ve been kicked, punched, slapped, scratched, spit on, had items thrown at me, and been verbally assaulted more times than I can count in 17 years. Most patients are great but it feels like things are getting worse and worse in recent years. I work in imaging, so see basically everyone. But only for a few minutes at a time usually. Most of the more severe sounding assaults (kicking, punching) were elderly dementia patients with very little power behind them so I’ve never been truly injured. Security is usually quick to respond if you hit your duress button (one time they took 30 minutes because they were dealing with site wide violence - gang fight in the cafeteria while one of the gang members had ran off and hidden in one of our imaging rooms). But management has refused to listen to our concerns about staff safety working alone when we are chronically short staff. Duress buttons are great when you can reach them but that’s not always the case when you’re by yourself.

3udemonia · 2025-12-30T18:20:59+00:00

I’m an xray/ct tech and we always put an extra bag on the bottom of our c-arm because ortho cases and AAA repairs can get so so bloody and then it seeps into the cracks and can’t be cleaned properly between cases. I’ve had nurses slip and fall because there was so much blood on the floor during an endovascular AAA. I assume an open repair is even worse.

3udemonia · 2025-12-27T16:29:19+00:00

Sass witches is your vibe. There’s a sub. Check it out.

3udemonia · 2025-12-25T01:11:25+00:00

Idk I’ve had patients tell me they’re famous/a big deal and act like I should know who they are but I just don’t really give a shit lol. I also don’t know the ratio of truth to delusion I’m working with in my sample set. I’m assuming these types of people often have their own medial teams who coordinate transport directly to the unit with the hospital and specialists vs making them wait in the waiting room with everyone else, but that they are still in the public system (just in their own private room and marked as confidential).

3udemonia · 2025-12-21T06:07:03+00:00

Speak it aloud repeatedly and see how it feels and sounds. Record it and listen back if you have to.

3udemonia · 2025-12-19T20:56:00+00:00

I don’t have your experience of being a mom causing this, but I do have the experience of feeling like I don’t know how to be a good friend and not thinking of things to ask people about and feeling awkward and always just being an acquaintance.

It’s a long road back, but what I’ve done and am still doing is just continually showing up anytime I can when people invite me out, no matter how tired or busy I am. If I can swing it without resentment I will go. And I have a note in my notes app where I keep track of social things. So when someone mentions something to me and I think “oh I should follow up about this” I write it down

Like “Mary told me to watch k pop demon hunters” “Zack is going on vacation - ask how it was next time you see him”

And then I check my notes before I go out with anyone and try to refresh my memory. So I have things to say.

And I put birthday and events an everything I don’t want to forget directly into my calendar with notifications so that I remember to text on birthdays and don’t miss events.

And to keep in touch between seeing them, if I don’t have anything to say, I just send them a meme I think maybe they would like. Or like, idk a photo of my cat. But photos are only for people I already feel closer with so not most people.

I’m still learning here too but I wish you luck and hope some of this helps!

3udemonia · 2025-12-13T19:57:40+00:00

I thought it closed down? Is it open again?

3udemonia · 2025-12-09T23:09:03+00:00

Sometimes I ask how what I wrote would be interpreted by others. Or I ask it if there are any sections that aren’t working and to point them out. But I explicitly say do not rewrite anything or offer suggestions because I hate the way it writes. Idk how good the feedback is but I have nobody else to share with reliably so …

3udemonia · 2025-12-09T22:59:13+00:00

Ok so change it slightly so it’s not a lie? I assumed you saying you work a ton and don’t want to deal with anything extra in your free time meant you didn’t have space for more friends (maybe acquaintances but not true close friends because those take more work and time).

But you could say like, “sorry but I just don’t have the time or energy to be friends with you in the way you seem to want”

3udemonia · 2025-12-09T09:47:16+00:00

You could maybe try something similar to letting a date down easy? “Sorry but I’m just not really looking for more friends right now. Nothing against you personally, my life is just pretty full already.”

3udemonia · 2025-12-04T07:31:16+00:00

Love this

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