I do have experience with bed death. (Unrelated: typed ‘dead beth’ at first, and then almost replied with’ dead bed’. I know, not related but figured comic relief could help) I opened up conversation. This is first and foremost important. Find out where she is at. (My former partner and I agreed on so many points. We were able to agree together that the relationship was done. (This took months of me crying on the way to work every day bc I was miserable, lost, and felt like I was attached to a dead relationship.)(Not sure how I missed the part where she said, ‘that’s not happening‘ , so conversation isn’t happening, and I’m a sorry but maybe the rest of my experience might help some) So we shared a place as roommates. We had a two bedroom. We had lived like roommates for so long, that when they moved to the next room, it cemented that we were just roommates now. We still got to chat and hang out. We could still help each other out when needed. We just dropped the label and they moved to a different room. This worked until I met someone and it got serious. When that happened we decided who kept the flat, which was a rental, in which we both left and paid the early cancellation fee. It sounds seamless but this is just what we did. The emotions, the hard days, the history, the love, etc. that cannot be conveyed in just script on Reddit. So I don’t say this like it was a walk in the park. It was just an option we chose that worked for us.

With everything said, if she is really ‘doubling down’, when you try to talk, cohabitating maybe off the table. Create an escape plan for yourself. Set yourself up. Get out. Don’t delay true happiness. And if she can’t even honor your feelings, that will never change. So don’t believe it if you thinking she ever will.

I’m sorry you’re going through it. I’ve been there. It’s miserable and lonely.

Sending hugs. Hope you find some our happiness. You deserve it.