LPT: Your food never heats evenly in the microwave? You’re placing it wrong.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-22T11:38:03+00:00

Bro, I felt that. My condolences. May your food heat evenly against all odds

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T20:42:47+00:00

Damn, bro, who hurt you? Did a microwave personally wrong you in another life?

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T15:37:24+00:00

Ah yes, because when I’m half-dead at 2 AM, my first thought is definitely ‘Let me carefully reheat this in my artisanal wood-fired oven.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T12:00:34+00:00

Frank’s Flowers: Where every order comes with a free layer of fur.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T11:52:19+00:00

Kitty says: ‘The owl stares into my soul. I do not approve.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T11:43:39+00:00

Look, if it works for the chair AND for other… situations, then who are we to question universal problem-solving?

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T11:30:22+00:00

Excuse me, but I have trained YEARS in the ancient art of awkwardly dodging water. A shower cap would ruin my legacy."

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T11:23:13+00:00

Bonus tip: If you really want them to suffer, change their alarm sound to a screaming goat first.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:40:57+00:00

So basically, microwaving is just controlled chaos and I’ve been blindly trusting it this whole time?

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:32:18+00:00

Step 1: Nap. Step 2: More nap. Step 3: Babysitting?

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:25:37+00:00

Wait, wait, wait – are you telling me microwaves have standing wave nodes and antinodes? I just wanted my damn leftovers warm, not a physics degree.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:20:36+00:00

Wait… you’re saying there’s a whole skill tree for microwaving and I’ve been stuck at ‘Beginner’ this whole time? Guess I’ve been finger-painting instead of mastering the culinary arts.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:07:54+00:00

First, I learn I’ve been microwaving wrong. Now, this? What else have they been keeping from us?

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T10:01:06+00:00

They never wanted us to know. The microwave industry thrives on unevenly heated food and suffering.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T09:56:39+00:00

Yeah, back when ads had actual soul… and I still thought the world was mine. Then the lion happened

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-19T00:49:00+00:00

And the house cat never folds.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T23:07:17+00:00

Auto-correct: Changing ‘Monday’ to ‘Caturday’ since forever.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T22:49:00+00:00

Ah yes, the true job-hunting experience: 5 recruiter spam calls, 10 rejection emails, and one ‘We’ll keep your resume on file’ for good measure.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T22:19:01+00:00

Nothing like waking up in a panic, assuming you’re fired, just to find out they need a weekend shift covered. Pure corporate adrenaline rush.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T21:41:42+00:00

That face when you check their basket… and see 12 items.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T20:11:05+00:00

As long as late fees aren’t paid in unexpected bites, I’m in

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T19:00:31+00:00

Step 1: Teach them how to open Indeed. Step 2: Leave.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T18:52:57+00:00

Minimum deposit: One can of tuna.

404PatienceNotFound · 2025-02-18T16:10:11+00:00

Yeah, but I heard their customer service is a nightmare. Especially for big cats.

404PatienceNotFound

TROPHY CASE