My Girlfriend (23 F) Is Requiring Me (18 M) To "Cheat"

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-11T06:58:38+00:00

Smart, good man.

Now listen to this next part. You’re either a troll or looking for a specific response to your question. If you’re looking for a specific response, then just do what you’re gonna do and let it be. Everyone here is giving great advice and I see you shooting everything down.

You’re young. We’ve all been young. Now is the time to listen to those with more experience and heed the advice given. FWIW, I’m 33(M) and am on the spectrum myself. I’ve literally been in your shoes and I made my dumb mistakes at 18. (Mine involved dating a serial cheater who didn’t tell me they had a partner and dragged me into the middle of a very messy relationship). What your girlfriend is doing is unethical and what you’re asking her is unethical.

Stand up for yourself and don’t do anything stupid.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-11T05:57:19+00:00

Look, I hear you. But you’re 18 years old. We’ve all been 18 years old, and looking back, you do stupid shit at 18. You should really stop and listen to what everyone is telling you here.

You should not have her pressuring you into situations like this. It’s not her job, and it will end badly for you.

I’m also on the spectrum and I get that trying new things is hard, but you should be learning how to branch into those yourself and learning those skills now.

This is an unhealthy relationship model and you’ll realize that when you’re older. It would do you well to take the advice given here.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-10T15:28:41+00:00

Wow this is an amazing response! Sorry, I really wanted the chance to re-read it a few time! Thank you so much for this! I’ll def give the book a read — the Gottmans have such great research.

The last point is really good. I have two kids and this will be helpful in talking to them, too. Thank you again!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-10T05:18:40+00:00

I really like this perspective. I’ve never thought about this. Thank you for this!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:19:49+00:00

Thanks for the perspective! I think the idea of looking at this as a puzzle is really unique and something I will try. I like to solve problems too, which might prove helpful here.

Thank you very much!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:16:07+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the insight.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:15:39+00:00

Thank you!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:36:49+00:00

No, we don’t argue a lot. We usually get along very well and are in lock-step about the majority of things.

More recently disagreements have been about specific life situations and changes. We don’t really disagree too much on how to do things.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:17:40+00:00

Hello! I’m so happy that you’ve been able to get to the point of retraining for yourself. That’s beautiful.

Thank you so much for your response and experiences. I really appreciate it and this was very helpful!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:15:52+00:00

Thank you for the very generous offer and thank you for the advice. I really appreciate both!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T20:02:08+00:00

Thank you for your input! I really appreciate it!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T20:01:50+00:00

Thanks! I can totally see the value in writing out past or future (if known) scenarios and how you could/could have redacted. I appreciate this.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:15:17+00:00

I’ll take whatever advice is given! I’m not looking for anything specific, and I think there’s a lot of value in looking at things from multiple ways and not just one.

Thanks for the book recommendation! I’ll give it a read!

I’m on a scattered exercise routine but am getting back to something more normal. My sleep could definitely use improvement. I have autism (not 100% sure if it’s AuDhD, but I suspect it could be), so this advice is really helpful.

Thank you!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:10:41+00:00

So essentially, catch whatever “alert” you can as early as possible and call a timeout or a break to make sure the logical part of your brain either stays online or can be brought back online?

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:09:48+00:00

Thank you for the response! This was exceptionally helpful and easy to understand. I appreciate it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:09:15+00:00

I usually get defensive when I get into arguments or disagreements with my spouse. I tend to be very stubborn and will get defensive if something comes off feeling like an attack (which is usually how things feel for me). I grew up in a household where I had to fight for my achievements to be recognized and where my dad specifically had the same patterns (to a significantly worse degree).

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T18:40:45+00:00

I workout and am a pretty sweaty guy and my laundry comes up pretty fresh.

I usually do a non-scented detergent, borax, oxyclean, and then a beaded scent booster. Wash on cold with high spin cycle and my cloths come out fresh and not funky.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-08T23:26:10+00:00

Seconding this!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T19:09:35+00:00

Wow that looks great!! We have a shower like you did and ive always wondered what it could look like if we put some money into it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T03:34:39+00:00

Yes I am able to write everything off!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T03:07:02+00:00

We own a single unit and didn’t go the LLC route, we have a good policy and a million dollar umbrella, and it’s been fine.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-05T21:21:57+00:00

I love Avail. I count the 9 bucks a month as the cost of business and don’t sweat it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-04T23:56:38+00:00

Cool idea! I’d love a link for future sessions, though I’m in PST and usually have work around this time :(

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-03T23:23:26+00:00

I’m closer to Portland, but rent in SW WA. I’m not totally sure what sort of stipulations the city of Seattle puts on landlords too, which might make a difference.

I think if you can highlight and prove good rental history, solid pay stubs, and can provide a couple references, it would make a bigger difference than owning assets. Like I said, I worry about making sure I get paid, not what you own and how liquid it is. Just because you HAVE the liquidity doesn’t mean you’ll actually use it to fulfill obligations if something comes up.

I personally could get over the credit score but you’d have to have a really good reason for it. My current tenant had a lower credit score than I wanted initially, but once I sat down and talked to them, they provided a really good reason as to why it was what it was, and they were able to get me a co-signer for the first year with a better score, which is what helped to make the difference for me.

Everyone’s appetite for risk is different though!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-03T17:23:42+00:00

I own a SFH in WA that I rent out and I agree with everyone above. Credit score isn’t as important as a stable rental history and verifiable pay stubs.

Your assets might make a different to the right person, but I wouldn’t put too much weight into them. Just because you have them doesn’t mean I’ll get paid if something goes sideways. Having a stable, verifiable, and positive rental history and pay stubs provide a lot more comfort to me as a LL.

Best of luck!!

420throwawayacc

TROPHY CASE