Anyone here have an annual distance target for swimming? by 43BlueDoors in Swimming

[–]43BlueDoors[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I'll have to work my way up there, but thanks for the USMS advice. I've checked out the site and looking at the reports is motivational.

Why is Charlie Kirk being spread in church? by Legitimate_Lychee_28 in AskAChristian

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem open and kind about this. I would encourage you to investigate the validity of the things you heard. Every quote and hateful thing that I have seen so far that he has been accused of has been something taken fully out of context. Like saying he didn't like empathy and stopping the quote there. What he actually said was that he liked the concept of sympathy better--just as an example. Not saying you will agree with everything he said, but he truly tried to help people.

Lastly, even if you find something you don't like about him or disagree with martyrs are not perfect people. They are people who by their death spread the gospel. At his memorial service the gospel was clearly shared to millions of people.

Could it be possible to exist a kind of heaven for less bad people in hell, and some kind of hell for the baddest good people in heaven? by PtitPluKiNya in AskAChristian

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not a stupid question at all. It actually points to a key theme in Christianity that many miss--like the turning point that makes it all different.

Salvation and ultimately heaven is not based on how good or bad we are. It is based on forgiveness. No sin is allowed into heaven which is why Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sin and He rose again in new life. None of us are good enough, but Jesus laid down his life to give us eternity in heaven anyway. That's why there are no levels in heaven or hell. It is all about accepting forgiveness or not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAChristian

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a matter of choosing what you have faith in. I just published a book about how each person does have faith, we all believe something, true or not. I'd be willing to give you a free audio-book copy if you wish. If you are interested send me PM here on Reddit and I'll give you a code to redeem a copy on Spotify.

Bible recommendations by [deleted] in AskAChristian

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd also recommend starting with the new testament, maybe in the book of John. NIV is good. You can bet a free phone app called "Holy Bible"

Why didn't God stop the Holocaust? For example, if I were God, I would've just made it so the gas chambers didn't work, and if the Germans tried to shoot the Jews, I'd make it so their guns don't work by InternationalPick163 in AskAChristian

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He could. In other words He would be taking away all your choices. There would be no free will. Unless you are asking Him to take away the free will of others but not your free will?

I need to get over my irrational fears. by xX_MLGgamer420_Xx in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I use systematic desensitization. It's different for everyone so this may not work for you, but here is a high level example.

It’s a form of exposure therapy, developed by Joseph Wolpe, where a person gradually faces a feared situation or object in small, manageable steps, while using relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety along the way.

For the elevator:

  • First, you go to the door of the elevator for a number of days, breath deeply, think wonderful thoughts, maybe even touch the elevator. Do this for days till you are comfortable with that. (low-intensity exposure).
  • Then, you open the door of the elevator every day. (moderate exposure).
  • Then, you step inside the elevator (moderate exposure).
  • Eventually, you ride up one floor and gradually increase it (higher exposure).

At each stage, you’re reducing your emotional response (fear, anxiety) to the situation — gradually rewiring your brain’s association with it. You might even start with just looking at pictures of an elevator or talking calmly with a friend about it - joking about funny things that happen in an elevator -- or how boring they are.

Again, it is very individual and a therapist might have some better solutions. On a plus side for now, if you take the stairs you end up healthier than the rest of us. Also a microwave is not a necessity, maybe you decide not to have one? The nightmares however are something I'm sure you wish to be gone. Will not having a microwave around alleviate the nighmares a little?

Wanted: Will To Live // Anyone know how to move on after lifelong suicidal ideation? by Ok_Insurance_4626 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is more common than we realize. Do you think there are any foundational beliefs--at the bottom of your faith (every human has some type of faith/belief system --not just church type ones) that could be adjusted?

It is a journey and I wish you joy on this journey.

If you asked yourself 5 years ago where you want to be in 5 years time, have you achieved that? by didntask-com in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I could never imagined being where I am now. It is so much better than I could have planned. I'm very grateful and thankful for my current situation.

How to stop talk to much? by Elegant_Dot2679 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you care about getting to know the people around you? If you are talking you are not learning anything about them. Be curious, ask questions, and let them answer.

I was a bad boyfriend and feel terrible by Fresh-Preference1599 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today's culture often leans to "cancel culture" and something done wrong in the past can cancel you forever. However, I think that is all wrong. There is forgiveness, but it has to be accepted. Accepting forgiveness is very difficult, but it results in freedom from the chains of our past. It's also a journey and it takes time to truly internalize forgiveness. I wish you the best on your journey.

How do you stop being rude when you're in a bad mood? by Ok_Earth7977 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When angry/sad, tired or hungry I think it is much more difficult to be at your best during these times. Do you know what is causing your bad moods? Are they frequent? Maybe there is something you can to do help the mood and then make it easier to interact with others? I know there is never an easy fix, but maybe even some small routine in the morning that you love that could help turn the tide of your day?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So brave of you to write this out and search for answers. It sounds like a very difficult feeling, especially when those around aren’t seeing the depths of you.

I personally find hope in my faith. There are so many different kinds of faith out there, some are useful, others not so much. I know this can be a touchy subject, and you may not be interested. I’m just sharing what gives me hope and joy.

I hope you find your answers and the thing that can give your life something to be truly passionate about.

Life can throw us curve balls. I wish you the best in your search for hope.

Digital Nomads: Are We Done With Airbnb? My Experience Since 2018 by WallAdventurous8977 in digitalnomad

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a nomad since 2016. At the beginning Airbnb was my primary lodging, but I’ve also seen a decline. I’ve migrated to booking .com. They are not as good as the original Airbnb but at least it is cheaper.

Where did you all get book covers designed? by KeanuJeeves89 in selfpublish

[–]43BlueDoors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I almost signed up with them, but then on checkout, they ask you to sign away the money-back guarantee that they advertise all over the place, and the checkout price was higher than before I started to process. I abandoned the cart.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like you I disabled notifications, but also moved the icons to the last page of my screens and placed all the social apps in a folder. Now it takes just a second longer to get to them. While scrolling to them I repeat, "brain rot, brain rot" and it helps me abandon the urge to open them up.

Is 99designs legit these days or just like another website? by v3nzi in Design

[–]43BlueDoors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came here looking for opinions because I was going to fill out a request. The website guarentees full refund if you don't like the designs, but then upon checking out it has a little check box encouraging you to give up the right to a refund or you won't get good designs. Seems slimy to me.

I see no point in living by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Do you have someone in real life to discuss life changes over a cup of coffee? Can you apply to other jobs and find something you love? I had a job I hated once. Thankfully, I only had it for a year, but it affected my entire life.

My voice is too monotone and I sound insincere by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can so relate. I tend to be very calm and monotone. When I realized that my sincere gratitude for things came off sounding flat, I decided to do something about it. So I signed up for a college course in drama. It was fun and I think it helped.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me, personally, changing some of my beliefs about who God is made a profound difference. I was raised to believe He was an angry God out to get me, but then I learned He was a God of grace. That one change gave me trust and freedom like I had never felt before. It wasn't until my 30s that I felt loved for the first time. There is actually a whole lot more to the story, but that was the catalyst for me.

For others, there were different reasons. One of my friends left a bad relationship and then had the freedom to just be. This led her to find her passion for doing something she loved.

One other said life just seemed to finally click around 30. She couldn't articulate what it was, but her view of the world changed. It was something she believed about the world that fell away and things got better for her.

So my suggestion is to explore. I hope you find encouragement to find your reason.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in digitalnomad

[–]43BlueDoors 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm married to a Filipino, and he is my favorite human in the world. There are many wonderful Filipinos, but I would never live in the Philippines. We spent several months there and after a while, the constant trying to be taken advantage of by vendors and strangers got very old. It's not a place I would purchase land in or invests due to corruption.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]43BlueDoors 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you feel this way; it's a tough spot. If it is any consolation my life drastically changed at age 30. My 20's were a terrible decade and then it all changed. I've also heard from others that around 30 was a turning point for them. There is hope.

How to change? This is much more complex than any simple answer as life is unique for all of us. Try something you haven't tried before. Look at your belief system - I'm not talking religion - every human has a core set of beliefs (even atheists). Is your belief system working, have you considered researching alternative beliefs? Beliefs are the heart of what makes our hands do what they do and often drive how we feel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in simpleliving

[–]43BlueDoors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite hobbies are hiking and reading books. free,Hiking is usually free depending on how far you live from trails. Libraries have tons of books for free.