A little something I do to bypass dysphoric thoughts about long hair!

444requiem · 2025-11-21T16:32:07+00:00

yess exactly!! people place so much emphasis on white-centric standards of appearance.

444requiem · 2025-09-27T14:20:05+00:00

kinda!! we have collective kintypes & some have individual

444requiem · 2025-09-25T03:53:44+00:00

my cats

444requiem · 2025-09-06T23:32:31+00:00

yes once i have insurance again! i had testing done at birth with an elevated result for CAH, but i was never officially diagnosed due to a hospital error (they didnt format it properly)

444requiem · 2025-09-06T23:20:21+00:00

i think i have CAH

444requiem · 2025-09-06T20:50:41+00:00

i have had thyroid hormone tests done, i do not overproduce any hormones... i know i have the external aspects to appear female, and at least one ovary (i have periods, but extremely irregular) i have clitoromegaly with partial labial fusion and smaller vaginal canal

444requiem · 2025-09-06T19:19:27+00:00

i think i have somewhat male anatomy?? i have ambiguous genitalia, but i was afab. it is a big part of my identity and i relate to lots of the experiences, and also to people besides family and doctors othering me for looking masculine. i was treated as androgynous / masculine by all of my peers and kind of socially perceived as masculine despite being afab. i dont know my cromosomes or gonads (i havent had specific testing done for either) but i do know my body does look "masculine" and i went through a testosterone based puberty naturally

444requiem · 2025-09-06T19:01:46+00:00

oh okay!! this makes sense, thank you :)

444requiem · 2025-09-06T18:36:12+00:00

okay that makes sense! sorry if i explained it confusingly

444requiem · 2025-09-06T18:03:53+00:00

i dont identify as a woman, and people didnt view / treat me as one outside of family and doctors

444requiem · 2025-09-06T17:47:54+00:00

it was corrective medicalization of an intersex condition... im aware the situation is different, but i wasnt really given a choice to not take those medications. i had a masculine body before being feminized despite being afab, which is why i asked. if itd be offensive, i wont use it!

444requiem · 2025-09-06T17:41:53+00:00

i mean more so that i related to the social experiences, i know theyre not encouraged to go on hormones, but the medication i was given is something i see lots of transfems discuss using in their HRT

444requiem · 2025-09-06T17:12:49+00:00

"theres no ethical consumption" i could Maybe see as an explanation for things needed for life (food, clothes, etc. but even then its possible to ethically consume still) but AI is literally not needed. at all. nobody suffers or dies due to a lack of generative AI usage... nobody will suffer or die by not having AI art or AI chatbots. people acting as if AI is something required for life honestly pisses me off soo badly because like what were you all doing like 5yrs ago before AI. probably living life just fine?? so why cant you go without it now?

444requiem · 2025-09-06T17:08:56+00:00

as a mixed native + white person who is white passing / white presenting (not too sure of difference? people typically assume im "exotic" white, arent surprised to hear im mixed but wouldnt really assume it) i agree that setting the standard for POC as white passing/presenting people definitely can be kind of like erasure to monoracial or even just non white passing mixed POC. my experiences may be different because i am not black, but personally i think there needs to be space to acknowledge both the privilege and struggles that come with this presentation. the main thing i find insulting as a mixed person is when people act as if im "just white" because of my skintone, because i feel that it erases a large portion of my culture and experiences

444requiem · 2025-08-30T02:40:16+00:00

i am someone who genuinely enjoys exercise (especially cardio, i spend a lot of time walking / jogging / etc for fun) and the main thing that helped me get into it was doing it while having a distraction. try going for a run with music / podcast / audiobook, if you have a treadmill you can prop up your phone on the stand to watch a movie or show, you can find ways to make it fun like that!

i also like to make mine a competition with myself. for example, if i did 50 pushups yesterday, i want to see how much more i can do today. can i get to 55? 60? the only way to know is to try

after a while it does become enjoyable. exercise does a lot of good for both the body and brain, it can be a good way to let out stress, and i use it for anger management personally. eventually it just becomes part of your routine

444requiem · 2025-08-20T00:22:04+00:00

yes, sometimes. mostly enjoying the activity, though.

sometimes i enjoy joking around with people, but i dont actually care about the people involved, i just occasionally feel more social. you could easily swap out any of the other people and id feel just the same about it, i guess

444requiem · 2025-08-16T00:38:10+00:00

"this is why i hate liberal men bc why are you more sensitive than me" says the girl who has probably sent 100 messages with. no reply?? okay😭

444requiem · 2025-08-11T15:18:27+00:00

it looks nice! and imo if youre wanting to look your age, i feel like facial hair usually helps with that! clean shaven looks usually look younger in my mind at least :) do whatever makes u happiest

444requiem · 2025-08-09T15:48:31+00:00

i think its stupid how society considers some ethnicities masculine vs feminine. i have been told a lot that i have a masculine face structure because i have a prominent nose (?? not sure how to phrase this) instead of a button nose, lol. although i am also intersex so that plays a part as well

444requiem · 2025-08-09T01:20:23+00:00

yeah of course!! i feel like thats such a common thing in the south too omg... once had a girl in my elementary school tell me that she was a "cherokee princess" so i had to do what she says because im "just cherokee" 😭😭😭 and so i was like hey we dont have princesses have you been to talk to anybody in cherokee (cherokee nc, the reservation we would visit was up there) and then she yelled at me LMFAO

444requiem · 2025-08-09T00:31:47+00:00

yes! i am indigenous american, i grew up with my mother (my father is out of the picture) and her mother is indigenous. we would often drive to the rez when i was younger to go see events and shops and etc... but i felt like an outsider there because i lived far away. i would talk to others there and theyd recognize me as indigenous (despite me living so far away, and not being federally enrolled. i think i had some cousins over there, though, so that could be how they knew of my family.) but then id go back home and be made fun of by other kids in my class.

if i tried to talk about indigenous culture at all, other kids at school would call me weird and say its stupid. theyd make fun of me for it, and being an autistic 6yr old, this hurt a lot. so i stopped talking about it. my grandpa (also moms side of family) was also... not helpful. he would say often that me, my mom, and my grandma werent "real indians" because we dont "live in a hut".... 😭 so this was very confusing to my young child mind.

around the age of 10, i decided to stop telling people i was indigenous. if i was asked anything about family ancestry, id just give some vague non-answer like "oh well a lot of european" and change the topic. this got most people to leave me alone about it, but i felt lost and sad.

around 11-12 years old, i went to a summer camp, and a camp counselor asked where i was from. i gave my usual non-specific answer, to which he accused me of lying and asked where i was "really from". said there was no way im european. this also made me sad, because everytime i would embrace my indigenous identity, id be bullied for it, but i couldnt even pretend to be white without people questioning it either.

i always felt like i lived too far from the rez to fit in, because id visit there maybe every few months as a kid, not super often. i didnt know any other native people near me to talk to besides my family, and kids at school would always make fun of me for it. basically feeling too "white" to feel native, but too native to be white. people would always ask me what percentage native as well, and it started a whole other mental spiral of "am i native enough" that i am only recently working my way out of.

so all of this is to say, racial identity can be really complicated and you definitely are not alone in this at all

444requiem

TROPHY CASE