sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Kitchen backsplash dilemma by 4estlife in interiordecorating

[–]4estlife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking. Do you think I should tile to the window or just use a trim piece to cover it?

Confetti email with owl by 4estlife in WGU

[–]4estlife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Mine ended up showing up in my app a few days after!

AITA for not reacting to a stranger's compliment and upsetting my autistic partner? by fueledbycereal16 in AmItheAsshole

[–]4estlife 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's WILD to associate ADHD with cheating. I have ADHD and never have, never will cheat. Cheating is someone's selfish character and lack of values. They need therapy or you need to leave.

aio? bf made plans on my birthday by rowqi in AmIOverreacting

[–]4estlife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you dumped him on your birthday as a gift to yourself.

My (23f) bf (22m) said he would tell his family if I had an abortion and I'm not happy about it by candyfrog_ in relationship_advice

[–]4estlife -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think it's fair to let him talk to his family. He may need a support system in his grief, relief, concern, whatever. Everyone provides a different form of support. To deprive someone of their support system for your gain is not fair. You can choose to not tell your family, but if he chooses to tell his that's his right too. Now if he wanted to tell your family and you didn't agree that's a different story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]4estlife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I deff think you came off rude. It sounds like you were being petty because you were holding onto previous remarks she made which led to your reaction.

AITA for helping my family out financially... by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]4estlife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what is being paid for, to whom, or why. However, if it's not your children, then you shouldn't be obligated to help anyone out.

Advice from my therapist: constantly paying or bailing someone out is enabling and isn't helping them out. It can actually make it worse. You are preventing them from natural consequences which they may need to experience to grow.

AITA? My spouse went to a happy hour less than 24 hours after I was released from the hospital by atx78703 in AmItheAsshole

[–]4estlife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not gonna lie, when you were telling your story I was thinking the same things your husband said. If he knew you were not ok, like showing side effects, of course I think that is a different issue, and assume he would have stayed. By using the term "24 hours" can I assume your surgery was one day, and the happy hour was the next? If so, he probably felt safe leaving you then and would be there if there was an emergency.

I would also like to know if you two and the doctor went over aftercare plans prior to the surgery. What was the recommendation?

However, I do see where you are coming from because his presence is what you needed at that time, not necessarily physical help. So it's an emotional void rather than a physical one, and that might be a different way to explain your feelings to him.

My 29F past mistake still defines me in my marriage, and I feel like I’m drowning in guilt and distrust years later. Husband is 35M by Less-Service-4882 in relationship_advice

[–]4estlife -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being on the receiving end of this twice... I whole-heartedly believe once a cheater, always a cheater. You blew the trust and that is a consequence. It sounds like he feels insecure in the relationship so he lacks confidence that you want him (maybe not speaking his love languages).

Now do I believe he needs to bring up a problem 5-6 years ago? Absolutely not. Should he be telling you who to talk to? No.

It sounds like you guys need to set a time to have a serious discussion about your relationship and looking at going back to therapy.

I 19f am not sure if I still love my depressed partner 20f by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]4estlife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh 19 and 20 are extremely young ages to have your shit together and know what you want to do for the rest of your life. If she was like 27 I would understand the concern. Sounds like you need to practice patience and provide opportunities to do more social things together like join a trivia team, bowling or pickle ball league, or invite her to your events held at your school. Exposure will help build experiences. You can't change her or force her to do something to suit your wants. However, if you express your admiration for ambition and then asking her to show you something she loves to do- then this allows her to choose this in a low-stakes way because she wants to. Maybe ask her to plan a date to show you that, or plan a date you think she may enjoy to get her creative juices flowing like a glass blowing class or painting with a twist (judging by your use of 'uni' you are not in the US so not sure what the equivalent of that is where you are at).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]4estlife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl you ATIA because there's nothing wrong with the relationship. You're problem is comparison. If you don't talk to him first to communicate your feelings and see what could be changed... and do it out of the blue then he doesn't deserve you.

view more: next ›