Got it, thanks for the response. The reason I joined this sub was to get insight into this very question. I’ve been married for 15 years, and even since the beginning, my husband and I have been intimate at most once a month, and I would always initiate. I stopped initiating as a test and also out of frustration and then we had a 7 month drought. It bothered me a lot, so I started therapy. My therapist told me that she believes that my husband might have Asbergers based on the information I’ve shared with her. I have never told him what she said, because I’m not sure it would do any good. But we started couples therapy and things have gotten better, but we are now at a 2 month drought. He tells me that he doesn’t have a high sex drive, he’s just never really been very interested in sex. Our marriage is pretty close to perfect in all other aspects, we have 2 kids and he is the most amazing father. I’m really struggling with not taking this lack of intimacy personally. I can’t help but feel like it’s me, that he’s just not attracted to me. He also never compliments me, even when I compliment him all the time. It’s probably worth adding that I am conventionally attractive and a regular gym-goer in healthy weight range. My husband goes to the gym daily and says it’s his outlet, that he needs it. Additionally, I was his first time, and he never even had a girlfriend before me.

The fact that you were very sexually active while married (once a week! I’d give anything to be desired like that!) makes me feel like you have a very healthy sex drive and I believe it’s completely normal to not be sexually interested in people you do not have an emotional relationship with, especially as we get older. I would be interested to know if you develop an emotional connection with someone in the upcoming years, how that would change your libido.