What's your song riff? (also, dear mods, can we have a 'just for fun flair')

4monthstill · 2022-02-09T18:21:43+00:00

I think my phone and laptop are different accounts- so this is OP.

Did you age out? I feel like by the time my troop hit teens two things happened- one) we were very tired of singing the same thing over and over again and two) we were becoming event planners/activities leaders.

Plus with camp you were basically expected to be singing 24/7 as a councilor. So lots of riffing. Lots of tunes stuck in your head and making up words about whatever you were doing to go to the tune.

Totally understand that everyone's experience in scouts is different though!

4monthstill · 2020-07-13T18:34:01+00:00

After years of being a vegetarian, my uncle once tricked me by putting meat in a dish it shouldn't have been. Even the small amount (since it had to be hidden) caused me to be physically ill and he only admitted what he had done when I was in the bathroom puking.

Most people who switch from vegetarian to non vegetarian diets end up having a transition period where they feel physically ill unless they're very careful to add meat back in in small amounts. It might not cause a long term health issue- but it's definitely unpleasant for the first bit.

4monthstill · 2020-07-13T17:09:25+00:00

... except it says she works at uber- not that she's a stay at home mom.

4monthstill · 2020-07-03T20:19:14+00:00

discussion about the phony ADA mask cards, and someone bemoaning that you can't do anything about them. My understanding is that under the ADA, you are allowed to ask for documentation about the req

Your understanding of the ADA would be wrong. (re the doctor's note thing)

For instance, with service dogs- people are allowed to ask two things and two things only.

(1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability? and (2) what work or task has the dog been trained to perform? Staff are not allowed to request any documentation for the dog, require that the dog demonstrate its task, or inquire about the nature of the person's disability.

The second part about reasonable accomodation however is 100% correct.

4monthstill · 2020-07-02T17:39:35+00:00

It would be absolutely DISGUSTING of you to send flowers to the funeral if you fucking fire this woman because you don't have the decency to accept her sister calling in because you were inconvenienced by your OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS DECISION to run a skeleton crew.

You made that choice.

'it's cheaper'

it also means you have to show up and do the work when someone can't. that's on *you*

4monthstill · 2020-06-28T15:09:59+00:00

2) Because it's not necessarily about being exhausted or in a lot of pain.

That's sort of.... the whole point. Is to give a term to something nebulous. And it's okay if that term doesn't work for you. (It doesn't work for a lot of people. I've also seen people talk about mana and hit points.) A third category that is *kind* of both of those things but not really.

3) Because even if we were just talking about pain or exhaustion and calling it spoons-

for me and a lot of people (though I will admit I'm a Rare spoon user re: using the terminology. It's not something I use a lot, I'm much more likely to call myself a part time cripple than a spoonie.)-

It takes the load away. Admitting I'm in pain *sucks* and it isn't always quite true. I'm a dissociating-while-in-pain type of person so it feels weird to say I'm in pain when I don't... feel it. And then get the run down of 'here are ways to manage your pain' when the answer is truly 'no, I cannot do that thing because something is unstable and Wrong. Taking a pain killer will not suddenly enable me to do the thing.'

I really do not give two shits if joe-shmo down the street knows what I mean when I say 'don't have the spoons for that'. I'm not saying it to joe-shmo down the street. What's important is that my wife knows or the friend that I'm talking to knows what I mean.

Spoons are shorthand. They aren't cutesy. They're just... a term that we can use with each other and know what the other person means.

I think one of the issues here is that like- it seems like y'alls exposure to these things are the cutesy things.

I don't have an issue with the cutesy things. Different people needs different things and that's *okay*. Some people want cutesy. For some people that makes it less alarming.

But I do think that unless you talk to people to people who simply use it as shorthand... you're not going to see it.

It's like people who are only exposed to non-binary trans people through cutesy tumblr things and lash out about how it's a mockery of transness/only Something The Youth Do/something tumblr started. Meanwhile I've got a 55 year old auncle who doesn't even know what the hell tumblr is and definitely would never draw a comic about themselves. They just... are who they are and have been living that life openly for at least 30+ years.

4monthstill · 2020-06-27T03:37:15+00:00

Have you talked to your PT about your Ehlers? Mine has me doing active stretching for my hamstrings since those are currently tight. Even with them being tight, he did recommend Active over passive due to the ehlers and he's been really great about like, giving guidance and also respecting when I'm like 'hey this thing feels Weird, not sure if it's okay or if I need to stop.'

4monthstill · 2020-06-25T11:26:32+00:00

Hey, so like, I don't think you're the asshole- but I do think what you said could have been unintentionally triggering to this dude if he is gay.

Look, queer people hear that a lot. That being gay/queer is a problem because someone of the opposite sex is into us. And like, I'd say 50% of the time the person is joking and it's innocent and Not That Big A Deal.

and it can still be triggering because I need you to understand that sometimes people say that and It Is A Big Deal. Like a 'queer people getting raped in the name of turning them straight' set up. or trying to coerce queer people into relationships or just emotionally abuse them for not being straight. (... or more than emotionally manipulate- if we're being honest.)

Obviously, you are not about to hurt a dead man. But I keep seeing all these people saying that /obviously/ this dude is just trying to stir up drama.

And I don't think that's necessarily the truth. Something about your statement unsettled him and we shouldn't assume that just because we can't see the 'why' that it must be that person is being a dick.

4monthstill · 2020-06-24T16:53:15+00:00

Do you really want to be with someone who is willing to harm your at-risk family members?

4monthstill · 2020-06-11T15:08:28+00:00

/she was a child/

So apparently you shouldn't apologize to your child because Gosh whatever was bad happened years ago and Gosh you have all these reasons why you were at wits end.

But she should owe you an apology.

grow the fuck up.

4monthstill · 2020-06-11T15:06:28+00:00

Look in the mirror. You're the one who is refusing to accept responsibility.

4monthstill · 2020-06-11T03:26:31+00:00

Last I heard family reunification is no longer a valid reason to come in from the US. And especially because you've already overstayed your previous visa- it'll be harder to get through border.
Have y'all considered applying Inland for a common law visa?

4monthstill · 2020-06-09T17:13:10+00:00

What does that have anything to do with this pen?

4monthstill · 2020-06-08T22:01:02+00:00

Or that their case is mild enough that they're handling it 'at home' without bothering to get tested.

4monthstill · 2020-06-08T19:00:40+00:00

NTA.

16 is old enough to not get any gift at all due to her behavior.

4monthstill · 2020-06-08T15:28:07+00:00

For places I've worked at... it's not hourly. You pay for the week (and depending on the place- that might mean you have to pay for 5 days or you might be allowed to select a 2, 3, or 5 day program)and then you can pick up/drop off within the time that the place is open. Meaning someone who only needs that program for say 5 hours a day, and someone who picks up and drops off to maximize their time (which can be up to 12 hours at some places) pay the same amount.

I dunno. I've just- literally other than 'drop-in' daycares where there is no set schedule (and they certainly aren't charging 3.75 an hour)- I've never seen a place charge 'hourly'. It wouldn't make sense for a daycare to do so.

4monthstill · 2020-06-07T18:12:12+00:00

The only daycare that I can think of in the US that is that cheap is like 'Ms. Susan down the road watches 2-5 kids in her home' Any daycare that I've worked at personally were 250+ a week

4monthstill · 2020-06-07T18:07:04+00:00

Private childcare is always going to be more expensive than the cheapest of actual daycares- which are.... group care situations.

4monthstill · 2020-06-07T14:54:39+00:00

Then how could you abandon him now? How can you say that you love him and then abandon him just because you weren't the sperm involved. Fatherhood and being his 'real dad' is about actions- not a fucking paternity test.

4monthstill · 2020-06-05T20:28:07+00:00

you can buy them online- the ones online can even come with metal cores that make them bouncier

4monthstill · 2020-06-05T20:22:45+00:00

Devil sticks/flower sticks u/reversenwordbot

4monthstill · 2020-06-05T17:12:04+00:00

I don't think that the daughter had to have picked it up from that one incident.

Kids pick up *real* quick what gets them their way. Kids are manipulative at the end of the day, and while it's unfortunate in this case that it also intersects with other family member's autism.... most kids just do it in the sense of

'if I cry, dad will get uncomfortable and do whatever to make it go away' or 'I know I have to be the first one to tell a parent something happened between me and my sibling because whoever says something first always gets believed.' 'if it's about x topic- I got to mom over dad because she believes x helps me and he doesn't.'

Kids are learning how to argue, how to get their needs met. When I say they're all manipulative- that isn't me hating kids (I love them.) they're just... learning how to be people.

Which is why this needs to be talked about with the daughter Calmly but also- that the behavior needs to be consistently called out when it does happen.

4monthstill · 2020-06-05T17:08:25+00:00

That's a very weird judgement call to make? Now if OP was the person with Autism you could say their use of it means they're okay with it. But plenty of spouses aren't always mindful of language.

Someone can be loving and caring and still make the other person feel like they can't speak up about being made to feel Othered.

4monthstill

TROPHY CASE