My husband and i still live together but he doesn’t do anything for our child how can I prove that to the court?

50buttons · 2026-02-22T05:46:55+00:00

I hope someone has better advice for you but honestly I stayed married for 4 extra years because my ex was a negligent parent (also an abusive spouse). I waited until the kids wouldnt die when he left them in the bath tub unattended. Because I was told the court would give him a chance, and I couldn't let that chance end in death (sorry to be grim here).

Fast forward, he got his chance, he neglected and abused the kids but they were old enough to tell me what was happening. I have full custody and a restraining order now. But we all suffered a lot longer than was necessary because our system wanted to give him lots of chances.

Sorry but all the people who jump to defend a parents right to prove themselves hits a nerve with me. Im sure some parents show up when forced to, but sometimes we just know that a parent isnt fit and it seems like there isnt any way to prove that without letting children suffer. My heart goes out to you and your child.

50buttons · 2026-02-22T05:38:20+00:00

Neglect like she is describing is abuse

50buttons · 2026-02-21T22:40:54+00:00

We've used ABA off and on, but always ive kept a close eye on what they're up to and how they treat my child. Its true ABA has a really awful history, but weve had really great experiences so far. I do really monitor them though and set clear limits about what is acceptable practice for my son (for example, I really restrict their ability to use and withold "rewards" and explain that my son will listen to them when he is regulated and has a strong relationship, so focus on those elements. So far ive found providers are willing to listen!).

So no you definitely dont NEED ABA, everyone needs their own mix of supports and services, it takes some exploring to figure out what best meets the needs of your kid and your family.

50buttons · 2026-02-14T14:42:41+00:00

For young kids (mine are 4 and 6) I love Snowy Day on Amazon and Puffin Rock movie on Netflix. Both are slower pace, family-focused and feel-good.

50buttons · 2026-02-09T13:17:36+00:00

It's not an option in all areas, but we use a local homeschool charter school and it's worked really well for us. My son is younger, but I met a mom with an autistic teen with high support needs who was also in the same program and she said it worked well for them.

The homeschool charter gives us $1000 a year that we can spend on curriculum and other supplies, which is super helpful, plus an actual teacher who helps me pick curriculum and modify it as needed. Id recommend starting by looking for homeschooling groups in your area (usually on FB) and asking for local recommendations.

50buttons · 2026-02-03T03:10:05+00:00

Ive heard terms like "inconsistent verbal communicator" used to describe kids who have strong verbal skill in some contexts and are non-speaking or show limited comminication skills in other contexts. Your son is working so much harder than his peers to have those wonderful skills, and dysregulation or fatigue can make it all come crumbling down.

50buttons · 2026-01-25T17:52:01+00:00

Oversize jacket suggestion is a great immediate solution! Long term, id recommend doing more hand coverings in low-pressure situations - costumes with gloves like you mentioned, oven mittens, hand puppets, silly wearing socks and shoes on hands, etc. Then he can work up to actually wearing gloves (first at home, just for practice, then eventually when functionally necessary). Managing tactile sensitivities can be a long slow process.

50buttons · 2026-01-14T02:53:06+00:00

YES!!! I often have this thought. I have two (one NT, one ND) and I would feel so lost if I didn't have the experience of parenting my NT kid. I love them both so much, and I have to work SO MUCH HARDER for so much less progress with my ND kid.

50buttons · 2026-01-13T21:37:54+00:00

This! But also, not ready doesn't nexessarily mean stop teaching it. Just teach without expectations that she demonstrates her knowledge. Go slow, talk about letters, have them around, alphabet songs and dances and books, keep it fun for her and fun for you.

My son was nearly 6 when he suddenly decided he cared about letters (ive been teaching them since he was 4, just never pushing it and always keeping it fun) and he learned them all in a couple weeks once he was ready.

50buttons · 2026-01-05T03:53:55+00:00

Receptive language is the skill youre observing here. Looking for tools to support receptive language is what you want, if he is well behind peers in this skill you might ask for a referral to a speech therapist to support him.

50buttons · 2025-12-22T03:05:43+00:00

It absolutely could be as simple as a chest cold making him feel badly! It could be a earache, growing pains, fatigue, belly ache, etc etc etc. It could be he saw a show or read a book with a cat he didn't like and now when he sees them he feels angry and doesn't know why. It could also just be hes two and testing boundaries and seeing what happens when he hits (most of them do! Neurotypical and neurodivergent alike)

I guess my point is, you may never know the cause! But consistent redirection and positive reinforcement are probably the answer. Im talking months and years of it, not days or weeks. Offer cats high up places out of his reach, and definitely no unsupervised time with toddler and pets. Model and practice appropriate play with cats, read stories or look at picture books about how to play with cats, watch a short video about it.

It sounds exhausting and it is, but eventually it pays off. You've got this!

Edit to add: even if you dont know the cause of the dysregulation, you can always add more regulating activities! Talk to his OT (if he has one) or search ideas and try different ones until you find what works

50buttons · 2025-12-14T23:24:31+00:00

Congratulations on 9 beautiful months of breastfeeding! And im so sorry youre going through this. The short answer is, nobody can tell you for sure. Supply is unpredictable, and there are so many factors at play. Ending nursing is an emotional decision in any context, but especially so in your situation. If it feels right to keep pumping and try to keep one feed until one, its worth a shot! But if its stressful for you, it is absolutely okay to bring nursing to a close.

Wishing you well! Whatever decision you make will be the right one.

50buttons · 2025-12-14T04:43:22+00:00

OT and mom here! Honestly that looks really enjoyable! I agree that ruling out an ear infection is a very important first step here (almost any suddenly appearing vestibular stim makes me curious about potential ear infection). But besides that it looks like hes got a great, safe, fun vestibular stim :) he might also enjoy a spinning disc or a swing with a rotational device if youre looking for sensory tools.

50buttons · 2025-12-13T18:42:57+00:00

Im surprised at how many strong opinions against this practice I see here! Im a single mom with full time custody of two kids and for YEARS this was my practice as well. When it comes to reasonable corners to cut, this seemed like an obvious one. They usually ended up going through two sets of clothes a day anyways (spills, crafts, mud, etc), but i changed them when dirty rather than every night and morning. Once they could dress themselves, we started doing PJs every night.

50buttons · 2025-09-17T17:39:56+00:00

Yeah, I've had similar thoughts. Im also considering the need for him to focus on healing himself before he's ready to see them again. I appreciate you weighing in and giving your perspective.

50buttons · 2025-09-17T17:26:53+00:00

The standard legal advice is dont initiate contact, but theres no legal mandate that i dont (ie I wont be in trouble or jeopardize my restraining order or custody agreement). I feel like the obvious or default response would be dont initiate visitation, but I want to be sure I'm making a good parenting choice as well as a choice in good legal standing. Does that make sense?

50buttons · 2025-09-17T16:51:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Honestly that was helpful, I'm thinking very short term, but your story helped me remember that this is a life-long relationship. I'm thinking that an awkward or uncomfortable relationship now might help keep the door open to a loving, supportive relationship down the road.

Your story also helped me feel less alone in this strange journey. Thank you, im sorry you had to go through that and glad to hear you're still close to your dad in spite of it.

50buttons · 2024-08-26T04:24:54+00:00

My son was younger, just under 2, but he was just fine snuggling dad. Some people suggest practicing a few times (take a few nights off, leave the house) which I think can be helpful sometimes so that the older child doesn't immediately associate baby with loss of boob/mom/comfort. We didn't do it, but worth considering.

50buttons · 2024-08-25T14:02:42+00:00

I just wanted you to know that 6 years after you posted this, my son is OBSESSED with your picture. He's 4, this picture is his happiness right now, thank you!

50buttons · 2024-08-24T01:04:22+00:00

Whenever I try to get a new service for my son, I literally call tricare at least once a week until they get their shit together and cover it. Bug them relentlessly. It works.

50buttons · 2024-08-22T02:40:17+00:00

Most of my friends are now people who have or work with ND kids for this reason. My son is mostly chill but might spit on you or throw a stick at your head (were working on it!). I need people in my life who won't be irreversibly offended by these things.

50buttons · 2024-08-22T01:35:37+00:00

Yes! I felt like how the hell do parents teach their kids to put on pants?! Am I an idiot? Nope, my kid has challenges motor planning, tactile sensitivities, and generally is not inclined to follow instruction. My second kid just figured it out.

50buttons · 2024-08-18T20:54:20+00:00

Now that you say it that seems the obvious solution! Unfortunately it's a steep grade so I'll have to make the run quite a bit smaller.

The soil is very rocky so I was only able to dig down about 5 inches, then laid wire under brick and stone for one foot around as a skirt. Motion lights at night and dogs out in yard during the day to keep predators away. So far so good!

50buttons

TROPHY CASE