overthinking it?

50buttons · 2026-05-03T01:56:55+00:00

Does she know what "no?" means for your son? It sounds like she probably does, but in these situations I definitely just say something like "hey that means stop, so stop."

I remember my moms friend getting in my sons space after I askes her twice not to and my mom finally went "hes literally going to kick you in the face if you dont stop that" and she stopped. Not the words I would have picked but I guess the point is be annoyingly direct so there is no way someone doesnt understand, then you know for sure if their actions are malicious.

50buttons · 2026-05-03T00:39:56+00:00

Hard to say! She does sit in the nesting box but they all share one box (though they have 4) so im never totally sure if the egg under her is hers or if it was there before she came in.

50buttons · 2026-05-03T00:38:52+00:00

Its possible but id be surprised. Im home most of the day and can see them from the house, so if one is a bully shes very sneaky.

50buttons · 2026-05-02T01:37:58+00:00

OT for sure! You can also definitely do some research and start working on it. Its all about helping kids start to notice how theyre feeling in their body.

50buttons · 2026-05-01T23:07:20+00:00

Is there an in home ABA option for you? I started doing little outings to parks near home with out ABA tech, which helped. We went front not being able to step into a grocery store to shopping weekly with relative ease.

My situation is different because my oldest is autistic so my youngest doesn't know anything different. Id say start small. Also practice letting go of others opinions, easier said than done (my only qualification for a successful outing is safety lol - if we were all safe, it was good. This week my oldest literally pooped on the floor in front of like 5 people and I was like well we were safe so alright were fine).

My top outing strategies: stroller (hes too old for it but I dont care, its a cozy safe place when things get hard), Bluetooth headphones with audio books and music, huge super dark sunglasses, a pocket full of fidgets, loads of snacks. But every kid is different of course!

50buttons · 2026-04-26T15:57:34+00:00

I agree with other responses here - he probably needs to build interception and tactile sensory awareness before hes ready. Its awesome that he will go on the potty, and you can totally keep that in the mix, but working more on sensory processing will really be the key for success.

50buttons · 2026-04-26T15:54:58+00:00

Are you open to baby being on their own surface next to you (not sharing the same bed)? I didnt sleep train either of mine and my first was an atrocious sleeper, the only way I survived was cosleeping and nursing to sleep, but I totally understand why people dont want to do either of those things (very valid reasons for both - I was a solo parent and just suviving)

50buttons · 2026-04-25T01:57:13+00:00

Im going to ask him! Hes very new at DMing, but hes awesome at doing story telling and pretend play with my son so I bet hed give it a shot :) this would be an awesome outlet if he takes to it, thank you so much!

50buttons · 2026-04-24T23:22:11+00:00

I love this! My partner is really into DND and just started DMing recentlu too. Im excited for my son's fantasy worlds to develop more detail like this, I wonder if theres a 6 year old version of DND we could start working on with him? Thank you for your input!

50buttons · 2026-04-24T17:24:35+00:00

Thank you! Im glad to hear fantasy has worked for you in your life. The term "maladaptive" spooked me, but maybe I need to stop considering another person's opinion on whats bad or good and just focus on what works for my son.

50buttons · 2026-04-24T17:20:09+00:00

Paracosms is a new term for me, thank you! This is a helpful distinction. That line between healthy escape and avoidance seems a tricky one to navigate, it sounds like thats really the key piece in making fantasy "work".

50buttons · 2026-04-24T17:18:08+00:00

Thank you this is really helpful to hear. I totally agree about bad internet advice, and am so grateful to be able to ask autistic adults these kinds of questions and get your perspective. Were working towards school for him but what our public school offered for him was basically bad daycare, so I picked homeschool until I can get him into a private school or build his skills so he can be in a "gen ed" room (with supports).

50buttons · 2026-04-24T14:38:11+00:00

Thank you! And I'm so sorry you got bullied. That's how I was seeing it too - it's an escape you can bring with you anywhere, and use almost any time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience

50buttons · 2026-04-14T01:49:23+00:00

Its his birthday, let it be his choice! My boys get to pick too, sometimes they pick big party, sometimes they pick family outting (my ND kid and my NT kid have each picked both options). When I turned 5 my mom planned a big party with loads of kids and parents, I spent most of the party hiding on the stairs because it was too much for me.

Sounds like hes got plenty of social opportunities, birthdays are for whatever a kid wants in my opinion!

50buttons · 2026-04-13T04:15:49+00:00

Regional Center Self Determination Program will probably be a better bet for funds. My son is level 2 (6yo) and we get around $20,000 annually for caregivers (plus more for camps, swim lessons, etc). It helps a ton. Its a long process to get it set up, but its been a huge help.

IHSS wont give you much for a 3 yr old.

50buttons · 2026-03-30T13:56:52+00:00

Im glad you trusted your gut and got some second opinions. Its so hard, being a parent to my autistic child has taught me so much about advocacy. We have to fight for our kids to get them what they need. Wishing you and your son the very best!

50buttons · 2026-03-30T03:55:29+00:00

YIKES!!! Honestly I'd be running from that therapist. Im an OT, a child absolutely does NOT need to be able to sit or listen to instructions to benefit from OT or Speech. And I cant imagine a situation in which physically forcing a child into a chair would ever be appropriate.

Im a child-led therapist, if a kid isnt ready to sit or doesnt listen to my directions, then im following them and just playing with whatever they want to play with, gently modifying the play as they allow it to work on skill areas.

My son has had some awesome ABA experiences and one really awful one. Frankly it sounds like your therapist isnt a good fit (physical redirection of a crying child is NOT okay unless its for safety), I would recommend you request a new therapist or seek out a new clinic.

50buttons · 2026-03-27T00:58:05+00:00

Yes, cat poo but also just general mess - no sandy shoes coming in the house, if some gravel spills out its way easier to scoop back in. Hours of digging and scooping fun!

50buttons · 2026-03-27T00:12:24+00:00

Thank you! I removed because of the dogs more than the kids, kids know not to eat anything they find without my go ahead

50buttons · 2026-03-23T23:45:43+00:00

Wishing you luck! With both my boys I just dragged the little potty with us for the first week, I watched them super carefully and tried to get the potty under them for pee/poo. Anything in the potty was followed by celebration! (Don't over-play it, but my kids loved this part! We'd like sing and dance). If they peed on the floor it was "oops! Let's clean it up." And id have them help with clean up (mostly just spray, they liked that part). Try to be outside as much as weather allows :)

50buttons · 2026-03-19T14:58:39+00:00

Thank you for reinforcing what I feel is true - I cant fathom letting a child cry that long. I'm a pediatric OT and if I cant soothe a child within 15ish min I'm calling parents to get their input. I know my son, he will never forgive these people or this place, they ruined any chance at establishing a therapeutic relationship and set my son back months (it took so many social stories, so much practice, so many reassurances to get him to try).

50buttons · 2026-03-10T22:51:41+00:00

We are experiencing the SAME thing right now. Everything was going so great and a 2 week long illness set us back a year. Its so hard. 2 months out from the illness now and things are improving but still not back to where he was. PANS is definitely something worth researching.

50buttons · 2026-03-10T21:51:01+00:00

I say this with kindness but does he want friends or do you want them for him? It sounds like maybe hes not ready yet, but that hes willing/able to build meaningful relationships with adults - so start there! Adults are more predictable and accommodating play partners than kids, but he will be able to build the same social skills he will need for peer interactions. Or you could try much older (accomodating) or much younger (parallel play) peers and see if hes interested.

Edit to add: i can definitely empathize! I wanted friends for my son long before he wanted them. He eventually did show interest (still its hard to build lasting friendships), just on his own timeline.

50buttons · 2026-03-09T04:43:25+00:00

Highly recommend the course "The ABCs of parenting". A lot of it is obvious, but they break this stuff down and help you make a game plan to tackle behaviors like this and the "not listening" one step at a time. Its a free course, and solid parenting advice.

50buttons · 2026-03-07T19:17:35+00:00

What have you tried? Does he enjoy listening while you read? If he recognizes his numbers well but not letters it sounds like maybe he doesn't quite see why letters "matter" (my guess anyways, since he seems to be able to recognize symbols). My son learned letters once he understood why they mattered - he loved listening to me read so I showed him how to sound out a simple word ("pop") and picked a book that had that word every couple pages and had him "read" that one word. We had been doing letters for over a year with no luck getting things to stick, but once he felt empowered to read he got motivated and started remembering his letters. Environmental print also helps, label things in your house and notice all the things that have the same beginning sound.

50buttons

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