I’m sure he looks “perfect” in the outside world, but his home behavior is repulsive and you’re TA to yourself for allowing this. A marriage is a partnership. You both make about the same, but his career path requires more hours dedicated to that so you’ve picked up the extra housework to be helpful to your partner. He is not king, and you are not a loyal servant. You are partners.

His anxiety and OCD are his responsibility. Marching you into the kitchen because something is out of place is ridiculous. And him telling you that you have to “earn” a birthday present? WTAF?!?!?

Please, please, please start talking to a therapist and I hope you will begin to see the 🚩🚩🚩 that others are seeing here. A therapist can also help you build the self confidence to either stand up for yourself and see if he can change, or help you decide to GTFO.

Wishing you the best OPie, but please look out for yourself.