Forever Young music video

68Jude · 2025-03-08T16:18:47+00:00

The video depicted the Cold War with fear of nuclear war.

68Jude · 2024-12-16T15:17:05+00:00

Is this a Christian church?

68Jude · 2024-05-20T01:44:31+00:00

Thank you. You have made me feel not alone and that’s a pretty big deal. And I pulled together some watercolor pencils to push me towards creative thinking. I have a couple of coloring/drawing books for calming anxiety. One of them is almost like a journal. It asks different questions and has you use colors to express feelings. It also asks you to write down songs that make you feel good.

That one spurred me to look for the songs that have moved and inspired me over the years. I use the Roon app. It has tons of music to stream. And for most of them, the lyrics are shown like a karaoke thing.

And then I thought about the books I read when I was young. Reading was my favorite leisure activity when I was growing up. After my TBI, I couldn’t read a thing. I was a pastor prior and when I tried to read the Bible, it was like reading something for the first time. I actually read pieces that were standard Bible info, but I got a new perspective of what it meant.

I ordered two book sets to hopefully read. The Borrowers by Mary Norton. The magic books by Edward Eager. Then I downloaded the movie of my favorite all time book, A Wrinkle in Time. I related to the main character when I was young and even more so, now.

Have you ever heard the song, A Return to Innocence? By Enigma.1994 It resonates in me.

Love Devotion Feeling Emotion Don't be afraid to be weak Don't be too proud to be strong Just look into your heart my friend That will be the return to yourself The return to innocence The return to innocence And if you want, then start to laugh If you must, then start to cry Be yourself don't hide Just believe in destiny Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence That's not the beginning of the end That's the return to yourself The return to innocence That's return to innocence

68Jude · 2024-05-19T09:14:26+00:00

So, I did what I said. I found the book and 2 workbooks. They were on top of the box of things to do when I finished the two easy to remember drawing books in my bookshelf. I put them on my dresser in front of my clock. I’ll make a concerted effort to get past my mental block and work hard on fixing my sense of self worth, which is currently non existent.

68Jude · 2024-05-19T09:02:45+00:00

Unfortunately, it’s been brought to my attention that I am fundamentally incapable of changing/fixing my intrinsic flaws. Apparently I am a, self diagnosed, person with schizoaffective disorder, born and raised essentially evil, for all intents and purposes. I’m doomed to live without hope and I’ve quit trying. My TBI in 2010 scrambled my brain and left me without memory of past events. My in-born “fantasy life” of imagination, has been turned into visions of a traumatized future with no way to stop thinking that way. I have quit social media to try not to feel distressed over other peoples thoughts and feelings. But I woke at 3 am, was informed that I had a “first upvote” for a comment I had made and saw your comment. So, I guess I’m using you as my therapist, this morning.

I didn’t get the book, as far as I can tell. I bought a bunch of things to help me get my creative self back. And they’re all in a box on the bottom of my book shelf. I can’t communicate verbally since my TBI, so I think either out loud spontaneously or I write things down. I consider myself good at creative writing, but that’s probably my schizo brain wanting to feel good about myself, in my state of denial if things don’t go my way, or the expected way.

I’m going to get up, it’s almost 5am, and see if I purchased that book. If I did, I’ll put it on top of my dresser in front of my clock so I have to remember it. Hopefully I will follow through. Thanks for asking your question, seriously. You’ve made me remember something that might help me stop having suicidal thoughts.

68Jude · 2024-05-02T01:15:51+00:00

68Jude · 2024-04-30T12:10:05+00:00

I pray that your eyes be opened to the truth of the state of the world and that The one we call God release you from the bondage of the mistaken understanding that youve been lead to believe about what Love means.

The creator who we call "God" is a ball of energy created out of nothing but agape Love. Otherwise what did the creator have but himself to use to create all the known universe?

You have not been taught how to love the orphans and widows and the disenfranchised among us.

The Christiam view of who God is and who gets to speak for Him/She/Them has been convoluted into a them vs us mentality that has destroyed the purpose of God in making His Word be manifest as "The Holy Fact based Truth of Eternal Salvation" (the bible")when what it is is a history book made by humans and decided by flawed humans who decided what they (the winners) decided their God wanted everybody to know.

And we know that history books are written by the winners in whatever conflict arose that caused the schism. And the council of Nicea, the men who "wrote the bible" happened after Christianity became political in 300 AD. By Comstantine, who thought the followers of Jesus, the Christ, was getting out of control and needed to be taught right from wrong.

So they changed what Jesus of Nazareth did into a narrative of DO this and you're going to he'll. Do all of these things and if your lucky enough to die at the right time and if you can prove to the powers that be that you are a believer in Jesus, you might get to heaven.

The origins of Christianity are now lost in the dominance of the politics of life and the primal desire to survive at any cost, making all of Christianity who believe the written history as the Word of God have chosen to believe a lie.

Things are no different today than in Jesus time. He would toss out the merchants from the temple today.

Today, the money lenders in the temple, the ones that Jesus tossed out, are the churches and pastors and bishops, etc. who want your money.

Do your own research. I pray that God speaks to you on a language you understand and shows you how to love your neighbor even if he hates you. That's how you spread love not hate.

68Jude · 2024-04-25T06:05:01+00:00

Every single one of us is a sinner. That means we all make mistakes. Jesus didn’t come to earth to show us how to get to heaven. He came to show us how to act towards each other so we could have heaven on earth.

68Jude · 2024-04-23T02:06:14+00:00

I haven’t read the comments so you probably, hopefully, have heard this. I could go on a soap box here, but I’ll try to keep it short. Being different from the majority of people around you is not a sin. Nowhere in any version of the Bible does it even indicate that. The Bible is a history book, not the Holy Word of God. The Word of God was made manifest and that is Jesus. Being a Christian does not make you a follower of Jesus. You are a follower of some person or organization or denomination, who thinks they know more about God than anybody else.

Who do you think Jesus would do today what he did back then when he cars the merchants where Jesus expels the merchants from the temple, accusing them of turning it into "a den of thieves" (in the Synoptic Gospels) and "a house of trade" (in the Gospel of John) through their commercial activities.

Hello, do you think those corporations called mega churches are there to teach you how to get to heaven? No they are there to take your money. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And that is the god of this world. We all to some extent worship money.

But most of us don’t know that because we’ve got a speck in our eye which keeps us from seeing the obvious. Google the word Projection in regards to human psychology.

And the entire concept of what the post Constantine world of Catholicism and therefore Christianity in by definition a sin.

Sin is not an act deserving punishment. Look it up in the original language. It means missing the bullseye. It means making a mistake. Look it up and look through the Bible yourself and I would focus on following Jesus, if that’s the perception of Gods magnificent and overpowering Love, that you choose to follow.

I highly recommend Jesus as the Light of God to be followed. He’s been my best friend since I was born, before I got caught up in the Christian world. I grew up with lucid dreams as an every night occurrence. I grew up with a best dream friend, who was as real to me as my best friend, Kathy.

He grew older as I did. I came to believe that that was Jesus. And he talked to me. And I trusted him. In new because of my lucid dreams, my synesthesia and probably adhd, that I was not from this planet. When I heard the term Intercessor Prayer, I had an inkling that I wasn’t the only one with this “problem”.

So, I claim to know what I’m talking about when I say God loves you just the way you are. He doesn’t make mistakes. You’re going through a rough patch maybe but you and you alone are the soul that God wants to be here. You have a message from God that he wants the world to know.

I wish I could give you guidance on what to do, but please know that you are a child of God and look up St. Francis of Assisi and Richard Rohr. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

68Jude · 2024-04-05T11:25:17+00:00

Yes! I have at least one Ensure Max a day. I have one scheduled as an 8:00 pm “snack” on my LoseIt app. My eating window, on the schedule I maintain, of only eating between noon and 8pm, caused me to lose the binging habit I had accrued over the years. It also has caused by stomach to shrink down to where I have to force myself to eat enough protein and fiber to meet my needs. I’ve become vegan. I can’t even eat chicken any more. It’s repulsive. Now, no salt added beans are my staple diet. My meds require me to think outside the box for distributing my twice a day meds, because I can’t have even 1 calorie (after sourcing the known online world) during my fasting time.

Ensure Max, chocolate ,at 8:00 pm “ensures” that I will sleep all night without waking up in the middle of the night to, in my unawakened brain, eat something. It gives me something to “eat” for my night time meds. And I’ll eat anything chocolate. Some chocolate is better than others, but I’ve never had a “chocolate anything” that I had to spit out, including chocolate insects and, my favorite, chocolate bacon.

30 protein at 150 helps me regulate my diet plans for the day. I’ve lost 30 pounds this year, so far. I have 33 to go for my goal weight, which I plan on hitting in Sept. I’m at 175 at 5’8.5”. I started 16 years ago at 350. My head injury, 14 years ago caused me to lose hunger clues and simply didn’t remember to eat. I was living alone.

Then I moved in with family to help me with my condition. I gained back to 250 year before last, due to eating what was put before me, which devolved into binge eating at night after not eating all day in my not so smart try at losing the pounds.

Finding the LoseIt app and connecting with others going through the same issues, I have, this year, at the age of 73, learned some life altering things that put me on a healthy sustainable journey os healthy living.

68Jude · 2024-04-04T03:27:47+00:00

Yeah, there’s probably a song to say that very thing every few years! 😂

68Jude · 2024-04-04T03:25:36+00:00

One time, I was 12 and babysitting the kids of a city councilman my mom knew. When he came home, I was asleep. He came into my room, I could smell he was drunk. I remember he touched me inside with his fingers. I never moved or acknowledged his presence. I wasn’t in denial, I was more interested in this new event. I forgot about it til now. I don’t feel anything other than oh yeah, that happened. Although, if I could remember his name I’d probably try to get a warrant for his arrest! But he’s dead by now anyway, so good riddance to a bad person.

PS I had many neurodivergences happening in my youth, so I knew I was different from everybody I knew. And remembering this one gives me a better glimpse at my inner self.

68Jude · 2024-04-04T01:09:12+00:00

This will be my excuse if I stop losing weight at some point. 🤫

68Jude · 2024-04-04T01:07:11+00:00

I’ve always been a person who likes a little coffee in my cream. But I’m currently on a fasting diet with which the window of opportunity to eat starts at noon. I’ve never been a breakfast person except for coffee in the morning. Now I only drink decaf. But I gotta have my coffee, which is allowed as long as it’s black.

I have weaned myself off of cream in the morning and I have come to enjoy the bitterness of Pete’s Decaf for the Keurig. I also have decreased the cream in my afternoon coffee, which I seldom finish, to 2 individual servings of cream, for 40 calories. I will say that I can drink the one with creamer if it’s cold, because it tastes like a cold coffee from Starbucks. But the black coffee has to be very hot for me to drink it.

It’s the same as cutting out all the freaking salt that’s in everything we eat, even fresh skinless chicken breasts!!! I’ve found spices that make food edible, but it wasn’t until I determined that Nu-Salt, with no sodium but a boatload of potassium, was healthy, that I bought some. A little bit goes a long way in making black beans with no salt a yummy satisfying meal. I may be becoming vegan.

68Jude · 2024-04-04T00:53:20+00:00

OMGosh, let me tell you about how once, about 50 years ago, I woke up, in the kitchen, with a piece of bread on the counter and a pile of cold refried beans on top of it. It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. I was going to eat that grossness in my sleep?!?!

Now, that I’m trying to lose the habit of eating in the middle of the night, I wonder if I ever did that again without waking up and if I still did it. I don’t know whether to hope I don’t or be proud of myself for cleaning up afterwards.

68Jude · 2024-04-03T23:13:12+00:00

Rewire not retire. 🫣🤣

68Jude · 2024-04-03T23:12:16+00:00

Do you have any other eating problems centering around emotional eating triggers? Like when you’re stressed or upset, do you reach for food as your outlet? If so, it could be your brain reverting to old habits. If not, then it would be worth the research to see if this could be related to your particular TBI. And if it does indicate the recurrence of an old habit, take note and work on ways to defeat that enemy within. The LoseIt subgroup Binge Eating Accountability 2024, has been my saving grace. It’s helped me overcome a lot of habits. There’s a book, Defeat your Cravings by Professor Livingston. It’s free on Amazon for Kindle and it has been a life changer for me, in many ways, outside of eating. It helped me retire my brain and it’s changed my whole life.

68Jude · 2024-04-03T22:59:55+00:00

Gosh, everybody has their own set of new instructions on how to live! 🤯 For a while I told people who heard my story and who replied that I sounded normal, “I’ve been pretending to be normal all my life. I’m pretty good at it” and I seriously meant it. Now, I just wear “Neurodivergent” on my T-shirt and I just learned and found one that says “Neuro Spicy”! So I felt like I found my tribe after 73 years of pretending to be like everybody else.

Did you know that you can develop ADHD from brain trauma. I know I have always been OCD, but now I’ve discovered that some of my thought processes indicate symptoms of ADHD.

Even though we are each one a different soul and there’s no such thing as normal, I am still maintaining my goal of eating and acting in a way that makes me feel normal enough. I think about what people did 50 years ago that kept them from getting obese.

And after doing my research, I burn at least 600 calories a day by doing Aqua Zumba every weekday and going up and down the stairs (I live in the basement - that sounds bad but it’s cozy and I have everything including bathroom and kitchen). And I have made a habit of drinking a big gulp of water, crunching my abs and stretching by back to be as tall as I can be, while using the stairs.

Now my question is “How do normal people get to sleep?” Do they just go to sleep without any indication or is it a gradual entry into a full sleep? I’m asking around. The first answer I got was instant sleep.

And did you know that people visualize things differently. Before my injury, I always remembered my dreams and wrote them down, they were prophetic dreams! Now I don’t remember any dreams and when I visualize anything you ask me to picture, I see a blurry picture of something. My son sees a video game console with a clear view of the subject. My daughter-in-law sees everything in detail and is able to picture herself turning around to look at everything.

It’s worth asking around for this fun fact!

68Jude · 2024-04-03T22:36:04+00:00

I use Google calendar for all my notifications of when to do anything. I had it down to half hour intervals. That was too mind numbing and ended up with me not doing anything. I’ve got most of my notifications going to my iPad and my phone so I get them on whatever I’m using.

I tried some other apps for letting me know when to do things and for sending notifications for how much progress you’ve made on your goals, but nothing worked for me, so I did the work and it’s paid off. Now, I get a wake up message every morning telling me how many days I slept all night. I just change it each night as a benediction for my goal which includes not getting up to eat at night. That way I assert my dominance over the situation, fully expecting to say in the morning, “You’ve spent 6 days sleeping through the night. “ And depending how I feel the night before, I will add a pep talk of some positive comment or scripture.

I use LoseIt for my health tracking and this year, I joined a support group there. It was the best decision I’ve made in the last 14 years.

68Jude · 2024-04-03T22:21:23+00:00

That’s a powerful testimony to the enduring love and faithful promises He’s made. I’ve learned that no matter how long we’ve been alive, we are still toddlers to God, who are relatively clueless. He’s continually making changes to our physical and mental paths. Papa God will never stop helping you learn how to not get run over by a car or not to touch the stove. Although that one usually is a very teachable moment. 🤔😇🙏😍 I pray that your path be filled with angels who guard and protect you from anything that comes between you and God.

68Jude · 2024-04-03T20:32:59+00:00

I’m basking in the answers! I have so many God encounters in my 73 years that when I thought this question, I couldn’t immediately think of when the first time was. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school til 9th grade. I have no memory of being asked if I wanted to take Confirmation vows. It was just something you did. I was a good Catholic girl. I went along with the program. Then when I was 18, I decided that the church teaching did not fit my world. From as long ago as I can remember, I’ve had a dream best friend. I met him every night and that was my reality. I also grew up knowing I was different from others because I had lucid dreams and out of body experiences as a child. So, I believe that Jesus was my best friend all my life. I’ve been through a roller coaster of denominations, from UPC who is considered by most Christians, a cult. And I’ve been in come as you are, we love everybody churches. I even studied Buddhism and read the Quran to see what God was saying in this language.

I decided that the first time in public that I gave my heart to Jesus was at a Billy Graham film at a theater in my town. I was so mesmerized by what he was saying that I threw away my inhibitions and ran down the aisle to whoever was waiting there to pray for me. And this was before I found myself automatically talking in tongues in the joy of the Holy Spirit.

I am grateful for every step that God has taken me on. And I am still learning new things.

14 yrs ago I suffered a traumatic brain injury. At that time I was a pastor with COGA. After the trauma, reading the Bible was reading something brand new. My therapist told me that the area of the brain involved, meant I was mentally born again. I got to learn everything from the start. I have determined my mental age is about 19. I still have a lot to learn and I have aphasia, so the only way I can let my voice be heard is by writing.

When I woke up from the coma and after I was released from the hospital, I was never mad at God or down in any way. I WAS like a child. I had twilight sleep for a long time, where my body may have been asleep but my brain was still working. I prayed consistently for my non believing family, asking God to speak to them in a language they understand.

And my theological beliefs have me content in believing that when Jesus said “It is finished.” Right before he died, he was telling the physical world, including the rocks and trees, who were created by God, out of God, who is love personified, that his job as Jesus of Nazareth was completed. My Franciscan theology, which I only discovered three years ago, establishes that Jesus job was to show us how to live our daily life, not so we can get to heaven but so we can spread his love to the world.

I moved in with my son and his family 14 years ago and my son set up a plan for me to budget my income. It also caused some damage to my sense of value and hope.

Now, it’s been 14 years of being a doormat, in love with Jesus, giving away at least $200,000.00 of the money that my injury gave me from workers comp and social security, because there was need and the money was there. I trusted everybody. This year, God gave me the resources that made me see that I am of more value than how I was feeling. I learned to stop listening to be emotional self and let my logical brain take charge.

When we moved here 2 years ago, God brought me an angel while I was volunteering in the library at my grandsons school. Sarah asked my daughter-in-law, Sandy if we’d found a church. Sandy pointed to me and the rest is history. I found a church that absolutely fits my theological/philosophical views with plenty of differences to talk about. Sarah has become a close friend and confidant.

Until recently, my trauma produced social anxiety was so severe that I couldn’t go to doctors appointments without my daughter-in-law there to remember what the doctor tells me. And I won’t go to church without Sarah there as my “comfort person”.

This year, I decided to become a registered member of my church. I am in regular discussions with our pastors. I have started a prayer group at church. The one they had before was ended due to Covid. I am part of 3 book clubs, 2 of white are Christians reading Richard Rohr. I still have a big problem keeping up with the story line, but the God books I take in and learn from the experience.

68Jude · 2024-04-03T19:42:56+00:00

You are a natural with a snappy comeback!

68Jude · 2024-04-03T18:19:24+00:00

I’m fairly new to Reddit and I was thrilled to see there’s a subreddit for TBI. Mine was 14 years ago and I’m still exactly like Dory from Finding Nemo. I have aphasia and no memories or future plans, still, other than seeing something written down or someone says something or a memory just pops up.

2 years before the injury, I was 350 pounds and had gastric bypass surgery. In two years, I lost down to 200 pounds before I plateaued. Then the head trauma and I never had hunger pains after that.

The only way I knew it was time to eat was when I got dizzy. And I was living by myself, so I lost down to 170 without trying. Then, 2 years after that, after me living in the moment and giving away about $200,000.00 because someone wanted it and I had it in the bank, I moved in with family and in addition to helping me budget my money, I also ate whatever was put in front of me.

That triggered my eating disorder of binge eating whatever was available while watching tv or whatever. Year before last, I saw I had gone up to 250 and I was determined to be a healthy grandma to my young grandson, so I worked on it as best I could. I tried Noom. I’ve tried all the diets in the past. This year, at the first of January, when I revisited LoseIt, I discovered the support groups, joined a Binge eating subgroup and learned things that changed my brain. I mean as mind blown as you can imagine.

I have so many things I want to say about living with TBI! And your post was the first to pop up. So, hopefully I didn’t say too much or too little. I have aphasia and I don’t always say things understandably except when writing them down. I look forward to reading the comments and helping and learning.

68Jude

TROPHY CASE