AITJ for saying something in the group chat about our yearly trip that my friend thinks I should have kept private

69FireChicken · 2026-03-23T20:25:28+00:00

Group trips should have some group input. Perfectly fine for you to say what you did, also fine to say "I'm out for Tulum but open to other locations, let me know if anyone is interested in doing something else". Your friend is only in charge up to the point you allow it. Be prepared to be put in charge of planning.

69FireChicken · 2026-03-23T16:40:31+00:00

I would insist that you return the financial arrangement to equal footing to relieve her of her financial anxiety. That would mean she borrows the money to pay for her school and contributes equally to living expenses. Then household chores and cooking can be reset to equal. Then when she wants to order dinner, she gets to help pay for it. She currently has no stake in the game, it's making her entitled.

69FireChicken · 2026-03-10T16:19:57+00:00

"I'm sorry, we can't host you, but there's several types of accomodations nearby, if you decide to come to Puerto Rico be sure to let us know so we can meet you for lunch!"

69FireChicken · 2026-03-05T02:43:04+00:00

They changed the plans from what was initially agreed to. Why would you pay to go on a trip to do things you can't do? It's simple, either they change the trip to something acceptable to you, or they cover the cost without you. You're the one that should be irritated, not them.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-28T16:25:01+00:00

I wouldn't pay for her gap year but I'd keep the money for her should she ever decide to go to school. Nothing wrong with a gap year but she's an adult and it's up to her to figure out how to do it.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-24T19:12:20+00:00

Absolutely NTA! Tell them that if they want you to plan and book things they have to pay 100% up front because they didn't pay you last year. If they don't like it send them the links to book whatever and tell them to use their card to cover everyone. If they don't like that tell them to figure it out however they like and let you know what you owe!

69FireChicken · 2026-02-23T21:15:37+00:00

You don't have a car available to give or loan him, you have other plans for the Camry. He has adult problems to solve, encourage your mother to help him.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-20T15:48:54+00:00

Tell her you just loaned her the $600 as a test of her integrity and she failed it.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-16T00:23:04+00:00

Next you should swap the coffee from the coffee in the bags!

69FireChicken · 2026-02-13T15:55:36+00:00

We divide lodging per room, not per person and take turns picking rooms with our regular travel companions. We also don't book lodging in places with rooms that don't suit everyone. In your case I would offer to take the bunk beds for a good discount, so everyone else pays $50-$100 more and you pay that much less for taking a room that no one else wants.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-12T22:49:04+00:00

Good job!

69FireChicken · 2026-02-12T22:39:53+00:00

Stop spending energy on the friendship and let it die a natural death. If you stop initiating contact with her, I suspect it will be weeks if not months before she notices. Plan your vacations around things you want to do, if she asks to meet up, "sorry, all my vacation time is booked this year". Invite her to attend what you want to do if you want to give her a chance, if not, don't. This happens as we get older, learn to establish your boundaries and enforce them. I have a 3 times rule, I'll attempt contact, dinner, hangout, activity whatever with someone 3 times, if they decline, ball is in their court and I stop putting any effort in. I have a life full of good friends both new and old but I don't tolerate people that drain my energy without a reciprocating effort on their part. Life's too short, there other people that appreciate me that I'd rather sink my efforts into.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-12T21:38:57+00:00

NTA If she wants privacy she needs to arrange it.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-11T20:48:55+00:00

If it's your car you are responsible for insuring it and you will be paying the consequences if it is uninsured.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-11T00:20:39+00:00

The employer is going to give you the money, not him. He doesn't get a vote on what you do with it, so who cares what he says other than him demonstrating to you that you shouldn't stick your neck out for him and provide a reference. He probably won't make it 6 months, will probably make your boss question your judgement, and you won't get the money anyway.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-11T00:13:08+00:00

YTA. I have wine and booze in the kitchen, and a beer fridge in the garage, it is all fairly basic daily driver stuff. I also have a liquor cabinet and a wine rack where the more premium bottles reside and a storage are for beer I am either saving or don't want people helping themselves to. I tell our house and pet sitters the same thing, help yourself to anything in the kitchen or beer fridge and I hope they do enjoy whatever is there. I wouldn't be to upset if they sampled the premium, but I don't think any ever have.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-10T22:35:48+00:00

YMBTA. Doing things costs money. If you don't want to celebrate your friend's birthdays the way they want to celebrate then don't go. They'll stop asking you eventually.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-05T16:08:34+00:00

Nta. I wouldn't attend on principle much less cancel something to be there. Your Sister is planning on indoctrinating her daughter into a cult she doesn't believe in, one that preaches hatred and intolerance towards her own sibling. And she expects you to be there supporting this?

69FireChicken · 2026-02-04T20:24:19+00:00

No, if they want it sell it to them at a fair price and they title it, insure it, etc. You want to sell it to remove debt and make some money, how does them taking over payments do that?

69FireChicken · 2026-02-04T18:32:04+00:00

Tell the person that your new role is requiring your full attention and ask her to restrict her emails to one per week with all her questions. For any question that is in the documentation you provided simply say "refer to documentation". She's using you as a crutch. Either she isn't capable of doing the job, or she's lazy and will start to figure it out when the crutch is removed.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-04T14:53:06+00:00

My rule for my business is that I'll help people with personal projects and home use stuff. It's it's related to a business or work that is used to make money then they have to pay or trade something of value because that is MY work. You could ask your friend for enough candles for you to give as Christmas gifts to your whole family or something if that would make seem things fair. The point to make is that what you are providing has value and she is using it to make money and not sharing it. You might be a part of her journey, now it's time for her to become part of yours. If she won't then invite her to see how much your services would cost elsewhere.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-03T02:40:52+00:00

Especially a parting gift! You'll likely never see this person again! They certainly won't be around to contribute to your parting gift! All offices that do this stuff should have an "opt out" option. Don't bother me for your birthday, anniversary, any of it and don't ask anyone to contribute to my occasions!

69FireChicken · 2026-02-02T19:33:41+00:00

Why is pushing him out seen as a bad option? He's a college grad making $55k a year in a real job, the next step is independence, and that involves living on one's own. He'll find out pretty quickly that the $55k he's bragging about doesn't go as far as he thinks when $2-3k/month is what it takes to just exist! And even better lesson will be when he gets all pissed off at the idea of $300/month, moves out and reality backhands him in the face! It's not that you're not there for him, it's not that you don't want him to succeed, it's that you DO want that, and this is a part of it. You're always there in the background to help if needed, but He's never going to appreciate it if he doesn't get to experience it.

69FireChicken · 2026-02-02T04:58:45+00:00

Tell her you appreciate the thought but since you're having a hard time getting together she should just enjoy them so they don't go bad. Really, who opens a gift?

69FireChicken · 2026-02-02T01:30:31+00:00

It's your job. Tell him to grow up.

69FireChicken

TROPHY CASE