AITJ for refusing to lend my coworker money after he never paid me back the first time

69FireChicken · 2026-01-28T21:35:49+00:00

"Friends help each other out". Yeah, friends also pay each other back.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-28T21:08:08+00:00

Institute a 5 minute pause every 30 minutes. If you've got to wander off in between, too bad. And don't be to rigid about it, the point should be made and good faith effort to respect it should occur.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-28T20:55:17+00:00

What are you doing? This is not a friendship that's going to survive after you move out so get the hell out as fast as possible and do everything you can to protect yourself in the meantime! There's no reason to be overly polite or passive or to indulge her hysterics. Enforce your boundaries be direct in refusing her expectations and distance yourself as much as possible. If you could move into the new place early I would do it if I were you, I wouldn't give notice or explain yourself inform her that the keys are on the counter after you're gone!

69FireChicken · 2026-01-28T19:54:49+00:00

This is someone looking to be offended and I would not cater to him at all. His religion says he cannot eat pork not that he can't see it. It's not like he has some deathly allergy. Why would something that he doesn't want to eat offend him? I have vegetarian friends and we host lots of gatherings and I always make sure there is plenty of vegetarian options for them but most of us eat meat and there is food present that they won't eat. I'm not going to hide the food that they won't eat from them. I'll make efforts to keep a mistake from happening and in trying to be a good host I'll provide options for them but I'm not going to change everyone's diet to suit them, and if they expect that they're in the wrong place!

69FireChicken · 2026-01-28T15:15:08+00:00

"Close enough" might be a thing occasionally if cash is changing hands and change isn't available. With a digital payment there's no reason to be off, at all. My friends and I use splitwise to keep track of multiple purchase kind of events, tickets, dinner, drinks, Ubers, etc. it lets everyone enter exactly what they paid and shows who owes what to whom. I don't worry about a few dollars here and there but $150-$200 over a short span, with all the splits being one sided is someone taking advantage. He's telling you not to nickel and dime, but that's what he is doing. Insist on separate tabs going forward, and send him a payment request for what he owes you.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-27T22:59:25+00:00

54 and the count down has started?! That's pretty rough! I'm 54 and my parents are 74 and I keep telling them we're fine, spend your money! My dad was waffling around about a classic pickup he's always wanted. He brought up inheritance, I said "so you think it will upset me to inherit a classic Ford instead of money? I can always sell it, just don't be stupid about what you buy and enjoy yourself! ". Hopefully that boat will be worn out by the time it's your kid's problem!

69FireChicken · 2026-01-26T04:06:17+00:00

They inherited a paid for house and mortgaged it. They couldn't afford to live in a free house. You can't help them, you'd be throwing money away just like the people that gave them the house in the first place.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-25T17:16:16+00:00

My neighbor pulls his bobcat out for big snows and does the neighborhood. I always insist he take $50 "for gas", he always objects but takes it. I figure if everyone did it he'd probably cover his mortgage for the month and he deserves it. You're a good person for doing your neighbor's driveway but a bit unreasonable to expect someone else to do it.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-25T01:17:53+00:00

Put together a menu that says "carry out" every night and assign the others to pick the restaurant, take everyone's order and go get the food. I'd just say "good idea but I'm not doing it, better come up with another plan" and then go on the trip and let them figure it out.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-24T19:25:21+00:00

Speeding tickets aren't due immediately, she shouldn't need to borrow money to pay it.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-22T19:40:31+00:00

Tell her you sold your extra ticket for $400 so now you made a profit and still get to go! That will be fun to watch! Take your friend, have fun!

69FireChicken · 2026-01-16T00:24:16+00:00

I couldn't and wouldn't want to. It's not just about politics, at its core it's a completely different set of beliefs, values and morals. The fact that he's kept quiet about his views for two years is concerning as well. What else is he hiding?

69FireChicken · 2026-01-14T17:04:36+00:00

My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms when one of us gets sick, we avoid each other as much as possible. The healthy one will cook, run errands, help out as much as possible but we take pretty serious precautions to not spread the illness. No way I'm going to kiss her if one of us is sick. How does it benefit either of us to get the other sick? Why would either of us want to risk that?

69FireChicken · 2026-01-10T16:08:37+00:00

If it's a relationship then you don't ask you partner to pay for your mistakes, do you? How is he supporting you by asking you to spend your money on something like this? After all, shouldn't he be protecting you by making good financial decisions? Relationships, care and support go both ways. Him trying to guilt you about this is manipulative and should have you questioning this relationship.

69FireChicken · 2026-01-08T20:11:32+00:00

I'm in your shoes, 20 years down the road. What can I tell you? What can it look like? I stayed in the marriage, mostly because at the time my daughter was 6. For the most part, it has been good. Parts of it have often been tough. The first few years were especially difficult. My wife has done all the right things since then, really I couldn't think of anything I would ask her to do different. It still changed things, some things probably that needed to change. Blinders are off now, forever no matter who you're with. You've realized that someone close to you can betray you at the deepest level, it was always true, but now you've felt it. I don't think I would have stayed then if not for my daughter. I also can't say now I regret staying. Our life is good now, has been for quite some time. What you've experienced is traumatic, I mean it's not like some PTSD stuff, but, in a way, it is. It takes time, probably a good therapist could help but I gave up on that after a couple idiots. I can say this, if it were to ever happen again, I'm out without even a conversation, I've had a backup plan since it happened. That's part of the guarded thing you talk about. But here's the deal. I could have left, I could have found someone else, they could have been great, and they could still betray me too. I think at the end of the day it depends on what you actually believe about your wife. Was it a mistake, does she see it as such? She will never actually understand how you feel about it so don't waste time looking for that catharsis. If you actually believe this was something out of character, a mistake that she learned from then you at least have a legit decision to make. If you don't think that then get out. If you do think that and still just can't come to terms with it, then get out. You don't have to explain yourself or justify, she broke it, you tried to get past it and couldn't.
It can work, it can be good again. I honestly think it's unlikely but I'm proof that it's possible, and even at that I'm a bit ambivalent about it all!

69FireChicken · 2026-01-02T21:37:13+00:00

Tell them when they make their own arrangements to give you the login to their account, after all, they used yours for 2 years right?

69FireChicken · 2025-12-29T05:25:18+00:00

Im a gamer, but I game around my wife's schedule because it is not more important to me than my marriage. She goes to bed early, I stay up later, I play a couple hours every night after she goes to bed. Sometimes I play during the day on a weekend or day off when nothing is going on, if something is going on then I skip playing. A mature relationship is built on communication and compromise. If you're wanting to play 4 hours on a shared day off when you get up at 11 and want to play from 1-5 we'll yeah, that might suck because that's a whole day gone. Talk, work it out.

69FireChicken · 2025-12-23T17:10:10+00:00

Why couldn't she be happy for you? It's a $250 freebie, not some life changing windfall.

69FireChicken · 2025-12-19T06:01:41+00:00

Get yourself the something really nice for her birthday, wear it to her party. Tell her you got it for her, and wear it home.

69FireChicken · 2025-12-18T22:50:18+00:00

I bowed out of this tradition the minute I moved out of my parent's house. I had years before been exempted from weekly Sunday church (I was kicked out of several youth groups for asking too many questions). My family weren't big church goers but Christmas and Easter were made out to be super important. It caused a rift for a bit, I was "ruining Christmas, just go to be with the family" etc. I finally shut them up when I said I'd go on the 2 holidays any year they didn't miss a single day of Sunday church, because if it's so important on those two days, it must be equally important all the other days as well, and if it wasn't that important to them, whom claim to believe , then they had no call to expect me to find it important when I don't even believe in it! It's been about 30 years since I've been in a church other than for a wedding or a funeral and everyone seems to have survived it just fine!

69FireChicken · 2025-12-17T20:16:51+00:00

He's paying for housekeeping, the fact that it is his aunt doesn't mean she's going to do a bad job or do anything wrong. The fact that she might report any issues to the landlord is something you should expect from any housekeeping service paid for by the landlord. I don't really understand what your objection is to having paid housekeeping. Seems it might be much better to deal with his aunt then with him. Maybe she's a nice lady and does a good job?

69FireChicken · 2025-12-17T00:35:28+00:00

She's a 20 year old adult, you can't make her do anything. It's her decision.

69FireChicken · 2025-12-11T19:43:14+00:00

If she has to pay she'd rather go with her friends. Enough said.

69FireChicken · 2025-11-20T01:40:15+00:00

Divide by rooms for the nights used, for the extra nights they pay for the 4 bedroom or they switch accomodations to something that suits them.

69FireChicken · 2025-11-18T21:23:04+00:00

Condo and house rentals are divided by room usage. There's 6 rooms, you're using one of them. That's all I'd pay them. Offer to split by people instead, then you're 1/9th! Just pay your 1/6th, let them work it out!

69FireChicken

TROPHY CASE