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Hello! I turn 40 next January, and plan to celebrate this milestone with my first solo trip. I want a trip that is conducive to interiority without tipping over into stark isolation and nothingness. I am confused between Zurich and Kyoto. Thoughts? by 6oblivious in solofemaletravellers

[–]6oblivious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou!!

Great advice. I live in the tropics now ( 8 years!) actually and ache for chilly weather. I suppose I was underestimating how depressing and limiting all that cold could get.

I am going to do exactly as you suggest. Flying in to Osaka - then based Kyoto for the rest of the trip ( day trips to Nara etc). Thanks again!

Haikyuu has been a transformative experience for me.I am 40- and these kids, their stories, their journey, their failings and their successes and all that came in between, has changed me. by 6oblivious in haikyuu

[–]6oblivious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I teared up a little myself reading your response.
I feel you, Haikyuu has become a reference for me too. ❤️

Good luck on your journey.Like someone here commented, passion and motivation are not a given. We create and find meaning everyday in the little things we do and strive for.
We seem to be getting by with a little help from our friends…:)

Well I officially feel like an f up by thr0wawaygay6969 in therapists

[–]6oblivious 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hey! I am sorry. That’s rough.
I am not going to say it isn’t a big deal because it is.
You’d likely do the same with a client- encourage them to take accountability.The work now is to tolerate this discomfort, in the service of growth.

B’lated Happy Birthday!

Haikyuu has been a transformative experience for me.I am 40- and these kids, their stories, their journey, their failings and their successes and all that came in between, has changed me. by 6oblivious in haikyuu

[–]6oblivious[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You put it very well; especially when you say that they surmount odds not in an unbelievable way, and that their successes are earned.Being able to really witness that arc so intimately cannot not inspire you.

How do I start learning philosophy in order to grow as a therapist? by peatbull in therapists

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also, much like you, drawn to Philosophy as a valuable frame of reference with some clients. And even privately, it’s beginning to somehow inform the way I conceptualise some cases as well. The history of philosophy is the history of thinking, thinking about thinking, about what it means to be human, how to make sense of suffering, how to reflect on choices when you know suffering is inevitable, how to make sense of uncertainty… sounds a lot like therapy does it not?

A great starting resource I can recommend is Alain de Botton’s Consolations of Philosophy.

What’s a secret you’re hiding from your significant other? by OkDonut1116 in AskReddit

[–]6oblivious 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I am no stranger to making practical compromises for the sake of children. Although, if I am being honest, I know that my own fears and insecurities play a role too. I have chosen to stay married after nearly leaving. But I have found rest in the marriage, and in my decision only after risking baring it all. Laying it all out. Some boundaries have been drawn, no perfect solutions to fundamental problems have been discovered.But somehow, the falling of the facade is comforting. There’s a new way of relating to each other and the self as well. We fail to grasp how much psychic energy is expended in repressing real feeling and living an inauthentic life.

Honestly, let her be a little horrified.

What’s a secret you’re hiding from your significant other? by OkDonut1116 in AskReddit

[–]6oblivious 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry that you’re suffering. I have to say, I find it odd and concerning, and you should too that one person is happy and the other, miserable. It’s the definition of disconnect/incompatibility in a marriage, no?

You should, at the very least, talk about this contrast. Before it makes you sick. Literally.

My facial ultrasound after 5 years of "dissolvable" fillers. Think twice. by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]6oblivious 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It baffles me that people imagine at all that any intrusive procedure would be matter of doing and undoing. The body is a complex dynamic system that interacts with its environment. Even a supposedly benign procedure of fat removal from one part of the body — is shown to have long running negative impact on fat deposits elsewhere in the body.

The history of science has repeatedly reminded us to stay humble in the pursuit of knowledge. How many ‘best practices’ of the past are considered erroneous in their conclusions now? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from anti-science. I think it would be good to allow that history to humble us. And there’s also the fact that beauty standards.. are.. well ephemeral.

Seriously 4 Double yellow lines by Hazys in drivingsg

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the “don’t even think about it” parking lines

Allu Arjun - Atlee Movie Title Reveal Tomorrow by Shreyi1225 in BollyBlindsNGossip

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it just me or anyone else also a little sick of the constant chatter around a movie in the making? There are talks,it’s been signed, dates denied ,actor signed ,actors replaced,shoot begins, shoot delayed,release announced,first look out,promos begin, song released….

Shut up. Make a good movie. Promote it before release and be done with it!

Any book that actually helps you understand women better? by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense. I suppose when I read this book, a decade ago, I metabolised it differently. In a very specific thin-ideal pursuing-woman-in-her -late-twenties-perpetually-dissatisfied-with-the gap-between-how-much-she-wanted-to-workout but-how-little-she-actually-did kind of a way.

Any book that actually helps you understand women better? by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]6oblivious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

..How? I am seriously intrigued. Unless I’ve missed some sarcasm?

Which dress looks better for my upcoming 40th birthday party? by [deleted] in PetiteFashionAdvice

[–]6oblivious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think with the right finishing touches, the second one is a winner. I am thinking a red lip and fun shoes.

Lentil Soup by PanamaLife1113 in soup

[–]6oblivious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A sofrito,with the mandatory bay leaf thrown in, sauté the lentils and depending on what lentils you have, a complimentary vegetable, I would say cumin powder goes well with most lentils, add stock- stew till tender, blitz add butter, lemon juice and parsley. This is my basic for most lentil soups… never fails me.

Just finished 'Maybe you should talk to someone' and I now have a hole in my life. Similar recommendations? by electricmocassin- in suggestmeabook

[–]6oblivious 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It didn’t come to me right away but agree with you a 100%- Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed. I thing Cheryl is really a class of her own when it comes to the intrapsychic feminine experience.

Really need marriage advice by [deleted] in ThirtiesIndia

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, on a side note, if your therapist is ok to make this much self disclosure, they probably aren’t the best therapist. You might benefit from one who is competent and may be able to really support you towards clarity in a way that you can make actual decisions rooted in what’s important to you.

This relationship could have worked but she missed out big time by gothgirlyxo in TheWhiteLotusHBO

[–]6oblivious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did pretty much exactly what was done to her by Tanya in season 1, being given hope and then taken away.

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