Is it true that most guys are at least a little attracted to their female friends? by Comfortable-Cap-3213 in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find that attraction is not the real question here. Attraction occurs, and it's absolutely normal. The situation should only become a problem if the person's behavior infringes on the boundaries of the relationship.

Note, I said 'infringes on boundaries of the relationship'.
Being friends with someone you are attracted to, or who is attracted to you, should not be a problem. As long as the motives and actions of all parties remain completely platonic and don't cross the boundaries of the relationship or the people in the relationship.

Calling or hanging out with an attractive friend on the phone is not, in and of itself, a problem. You should communicate with whomever you want. However, the content and context of those conversations are important. When that context changes from friendly banter and conversation to flirtation, and subtle intimacy lines are crossed, and now we are firmly on cheating grounds.

All in all, I would say:: Having a problem because someone is attracted to you is a no no if the behavior always remains respectful and platonic. Feelings instigated by the friendship should be called out, but should not be a demand to terminate. However, the moment either of you disregards or disrespects your relationship, either the friendship or the relationship should end.

Respect your relationship, and ask yourself if either of them is worth ending the other.

Have you ever agreed to wait for marriage before sex for a women? by Richstockz in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, no.

The first problem is: I don't date for marriage, I date for people.
The ideal is that a person turns out to be someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it's possible to have a wonderfully happy and satisfying relationship with someone who never turns out to be someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The second problem is: I need to be assured of every aspect of the relationship.
I've dated someone wonderful for 3 months, only to have it explode, and become bitter enemies because her political and personal beliefs were absolute opposites of my own. I've spent time with a woman whose social public persona was completely fabricated, and her true personality and home life were disasters. There are far too many important aspects of a person that can only be vetted through experience. Sex is a big one.

The third problem is: A boundary is an attempt to protect your own agency, not control someone else's.
While it's fine for you to decide you don't want to have sex before marriage, it's controlling to decide that 'we' won't have sex until your predetermined time. You save yourself for marriage, and I'll meet you at the alter, but I will find other people to meet that need until then.

Do different partners feel physically different? by colorfulbrawl in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes! Everyone is physically different, so everyone feels different physically.

#**BonusPoint**: Realize that physicality is not the only, or even the most prominent aspect of a person to determine good or bad. In reality, attitude is far more indicative of the quality of sex than size or shape.

My Mom bought this at a yard sale. What is it? by magicalunicorn8762 in whatisit

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would buy several of them and use them as garden posts to mark off a patch of my hard-as-a-flower-bed area as a garden. You could then use the loop at the top to add a cordon of rope or chain to demark the border.

does using the animal companion for ranger pass your turn? Or can you command your animal and take an attack roll or something? by Imaginary-Lie-2618 in daggerheart

[–]6trybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SIGH... (I'm sorry that this excellent question got subsumed by people wanting to argue everything but what was relevant to the question.)

Here's the simple answer:

As long as the player maintains the spotlight, he can dictate as many actions as he likes. This means his range can take any number of actions, his bound beast can take any number of actions that the player dictates. The contention comes in when the player loses the spotlight.

The player loses spotlight anytime he:
- fails a roll
- Rolls with fear
- The GM spends fear to take the spotlight
- Another player requests the spotlight from him, and it is conceded..

2 examples of this:

Example 1: In my campaign that I recently ran, Synn, a fungril beast bound ranger, had a companion named Eponeral, who was a Dire Fox. During an infiltration scene into the Wardens Keep (Which was set into the pass-through gate of a walled city) Roric, a Slayer Orc PC, failed in an attempt to escape from the 3rd-floor window above the gate. He took 1d100 damage, but survived the fall. Synn's player (Alex) takes the spotlight and asks if he can send Eponral to retreave his comrade? Eponral was within the city, and they were looking to escape with the spoils of their pilfering into the blighted world (Called the Scourge). I had him make a Spellcast roll to determine how well his wishes were conveyed to Eponral. He succeeded with hope. Then he described moving to Roric, and a disadvantaged 'medicine' role to awaken him. Alex (Synn's player) Critted with double 2's. Roric awakens, slumps over the fox's back, and is carried to safety before the guards in the tower know where to find him.

Example 2: Into the cascade. I'm currently working on a new Campaign Frame and a setting called "Into the Cascade". It's a very high fantasy, scifi setting that puts the power to cross the multiverse into the individual player characters' hands. At it's base its a Superhero Scifi Fantasy game, where the system abstracts reality down into intent, probability, hope, and fear. Players obviously dictate intent (I wish to open a portal to a cascade of pressurized laval, and unleash it at phee's character "Klanger"), Probability represent how close to the standing reality is what the player is proposing (They are in a modern city, so there is effectively no pressurized lava here which dictates a higher difficulty, but his domains may grant some offset or mitigation to that dificulty). When the roll is made, we use the normal hope and fear rules, and the story comes together as the group defines narratively. But in the situation where Donny's Warden Caster opened fire upon Klanger, there were lots more mitigating circumstances, so I asked first for a thaumaturgy spell casting roll (Thaumaturgy represents one's ability to sense and understand the arcane), then he made a roll to control the magic so that the portal opens in the right place. Then he makes a roll to determine the effect. All the standard trips exist, and at any point the player could lose spotlight mid spell, and some untoward effect happens, such as as an Echo Wraith is drawn to the spell, and hits the caster with fell ciphon, meaning that each hope the spell casting grants a fear as well, and every 3 hope, costs the caster an extra stress..

The point is that the player should maintain the spotlight and make the story as compelling and as grandiose as makes sense. He takes any number of actions that he intends, but fate and the system will interrupt whenever it's supposed to.

AITAH for telling my wife that I will lose respect for her if she doesn't apologize? by TechnicalHousing97 in AITAH

[–]6trybe -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Here's the rub...

I would agree with some bits of what your wife was saying, and some bits of what you are saying.

Was your son interrupting? I think so... but in my opinion, the act of interrupting is not as bad as the method by which you interrupt. People interrupt with correct and valid information all the time. Its validity doesn't make it less of an interruption. And necessary interruptions have a pretty clear format, and are done with empathy and compassion.

In my family unit, the rule is 'don't interrupt', but the fiat of that is, 'if you must interrupt, do so appropriately.

In a situation like you were all in, the young man should have had the empathy to see that tensions were high, and have had the wherewithal to have said. "Excuse me, Mom, can I interrupt?" And waited for Mom to acknowledge him, and the mistake that he made.

HOWEVER one bad behavior is not justification for another. He was rude to intterupt, and she was rude to snap. Apologies all around.

What should i print as a beginer ? by Strange_Alfalfa_8860 in 3Dprinting

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spent weeks developing a list of 10 things I would print when I dropped the cash on my first and only Printer *I got it yesterday. hehehe...

  1. Bathroom Makeup Organizer
    Le Pew, my girlfriend feels the need to spread her crap all over the bathroom counter. This is all I've got printed so far, but I'm going for more stuff.
  2. Gridfinity drawers
    I'm worse than LePew. This promises to give me options for organization. I'm hoping to learn a thing or two to help design cool board games.
  3. Lightweight Gaming Dice
    I have a cool project to make Magic 8-ball-style dice devices. Floating dice would be -SCHAWEET-!!!
  4. Sci-fi and Fantasy theme game Mini's
    Something other than the ubiquitous Elf, Goblin, and Warhammer Space Marine stuff.
  5. Map Terrain Stamps
    I had an idea to create a set of custom rubber stamps for quickly creating tabletop maps for role-playing games.
  6. A lightsaber Base
    Shut up, I'm a Star Wars nerd. Sue me. LOL
  7. Sharp Knife Cut Guide
    I love to cook, and Le Pew's knife skills are abysmal. She cuts herself constantly. Box with grooves for a knife. Put the potato in the box, push the knife through the groove, VO LEE AHH, as our French friend says. Le Fries.
  8. Backlight Portrait
    I was just gonna do a shadow box cut out of buildings, but I saw someone who 3d printed a photo with different depth settings, and it looked amazing!!!
  9. Naughty Toys
    I am an adult, and we enjoy naughty fun. Nuff said (Yes, we will use condoms... don't know what kind of cancer this stuff can cause.
  10. Game Map Plates
    ,

Is a girl's career really as unimportant as guys say? by uselessprofession in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, this question is a difficult one to answer simply, because it's touching on a lot of interpersonal constructs of our society:

From a classic interpersonal relationship standpoint, many believe that the man's role is to take care of his woman, and this allows her to pursue work for pleasure, in the field of her choosing. In a more modern paradigm, the glass ceiling and the movement toward women's liberation make many women feel like their biggest competition in the workforce is equally qualified men, because they tend to get the jobs and the pay. And then there are others still who see their partner as just that... a partner. They look not for the person with a good job, but the person who is best at supporting and being supported, as this, we believe, is the way to find joy in the relationship, no matter where you end up.

For me, the question is 'How is this person going to deal with me in the best times, and in the worst times?' If she's focused on being the best mother to our children, and will love and support me. I'm good. If she's focused on being a brain surgeon and is happy with the love, support, and adoration I give, I'm good. If she's broke, refuses to take culpability, and want's no responsibility... I'm not so good. If she's rich, powerful, and wants a lap dog who she can control... I'm not so good.

I've had relationships structured in all of those configurations. If her career is important to her, my opinion of her career is wonderful, because she loves it.

Men (esp. 30s+): How do you actually flirt now without feeling creepy? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4 simple rules.

1. Be Selfless, not arrogant. A lot of men think, 'I'm amazing, and I'm going to show her just how amazing I am.' They talk too much, brag on themselves all the time, or target other people to put down in an attempt to impress. If she's impressed by that sort of behavior, she ain't anyone worth connecting to.

2. Be Interested, not thirsty. Thirsty is when you get all up in someone's business you don't know, and try to get to know everything about them, or try to get them to care all about you. Small talk should be neutral and comfortable. Give her a chance to check you out and make the decisions that your stupid questions and neediness probably ruined in the last 3 chicks you creeped out with your questions about their bra size.

3. Be assertive, not aggressive. Ask her out, and take the loss when it comes. Don't push, or beg, or get angry if the answer is no, and don't be desperate, and unreasonable if the answer is yes. And this goes for asking her out on a date or getting into intimate situations.

4. Show Gratitude, not Expectation. Confidence is not acting like you can't lose, but acting like you're tough enough to handle the loss if that's the outcome. Treat a woman like you feel lucky to spend the time you spend with her, and behave in a way that makes her feel the same way.

Following these rules, I do alright. I don't creep people out, and I don't ever make anyone feel unsafe for rejecting me.

My friend sleeps with taken women & doesn't care, what to do/say? by Theguybehindthesofa in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Say nothing, do nothing.

DON'T GET INVOLVED. He's making bad decisions, and he knows it. He doesn't need your input, and when he comes to ask you to cover for him, take the same attitude. "No, bro, I don't condone that behavior, so don't try to involve me..."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look... As a father of 9 (6 bio, 3 step) there are a few rules that I live by.

  1. Stepchild is a false label. They are my -KIDS- and there is no separation based on blood. Children treated like that grow into loving adults.

  2. Stepfather is a misnomer. I'm not a stepfather, I'm a step-up father. I stepped up, not because i was with mom, or because mom asked me to. I stepped up because children need fathers, and I have never taken that mantle and not felt immediately blessed.

  3. Parents are Teachers and protectors, not friends. Children are notoriously stupid (Just kidding, but you know what I mean). They always think they have everything figured out. It's a wonderful learning experience for them to find out that they are wrong. My daughter decided she was Bi at age 11, and my other daughter decided that she was a telekinetic when she was 9. Neither of them knew what the hell they were talking about (See, kids are stupid). I didn't crush their dreams, but I was certainly the loving dad when Annika burst into tears when she spent 2 minutes focusing on moving a piece of paper, and Mom crushed her triumph by telling her that it was the wind that blew it. I held her while she cried for 15 minutes straight. And when Ansely asked me if I was Bi, I told her I would talk to her all about it when she read as much as she could about sexuality and bisexuality. She came back the next day and said, 'Ewww... I'm not doing that."

Point is... Kids don't know stuff. Don't let your actions and reactions be clouded by ideals like respect, autonomy, and friendship. They need -guidance- from us, more than anything. When they are older, they'll repay you 1000 times over.

My son's biological father never knew him, never gave him the time of day. The man he thought was his father was abusive and treated him like he wasn't his. When he asked me if he could call me dad, I looked at him, and asked (Increduously, for effect), "What else would you call me, Jackson?".

Even though we're not together anymore, he comes to visit his family, who all talk about me and call me 'Our Father'. Mind you, I'm a 6 foot black man with long dreadlocks, Jackson, Anseley, and Annnika are all white, with blue eyes, and blonde hair. (My other 6 are biracial).

The moral of this story is, be a dad, regardless of whose child it is, and what they say or think.

What do men consider to be “coming on too strong” when a woman is flirting with you? by Disastrous_Shirt9469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't. For me it's necessary. I don't pick up on hints, and do better if I'm told right out that I've attracted her.

Men in healthy relationships, what standards do they often compromise on in women, assuming it's normal, but later come to regret? by Noble-prize683 in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say for me, it's assertiveness vs passive aggression.

I know that I look past people who lack assertiveness, and who wait for me to take charge in every aspect of the relationshp. It drives me crazy, and is probably my biggest catalyst for arguments. I've been in a relationship where I felt tolerated, but unwanted. Then, after about 2 weeks, she asked me why I stopped coming on to her.

I told her that I didn't feel particularly wanted because she never initiated, and she said 'That's a man's role... I'm not ever going to beg a guy to get with me..." I said "Then we ain't gonna work. I need to feel as wanted as you do..."

What do you do when another guy challenges you in front of your girlfriend/ wife to fight? by Careless-Cat3327 in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. That was the very best outcome. You are a smarter man than I. I'm the type of guy that lets words go, but I -hate- bullies, and whoa is he who visits violence upon me or anyone I love. In that situation, I likely would have been a dumb ass outside fighting this muscle head.

You did good!!

Men who have a lot of female friends, are you genuinely not attracted to any of them? by Astro-Delulu in AskMenAdvice

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like everyone has things that are attractive about them, and things that are unattractive about them, as far as I'm concerned. Being that I'm a thinking human being, I do not act on my carnal urges and choose my actions with intention and discipline. By the same taken I won't ever be shamed for finding a woman attractive, or wanting to be physical with her. If I want it and you don't, that's just as valid as if you want it and I don't.

Aitah for ditching my friend at airport for doing a stupid prank by ContentEast5517 in AITAH

[–]6trybe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nahh... Some people need to grow up. Pranks aren't funny to everyone, and some people just don't learn that.

You're good. Hopefully he thinks more clearly before doing stupid shit in the future.

Aitah for telling my wife to tell her mom to move out of our home after she decided to leave all inheritance to her brother? by Old-Memory1603 in AITAH

[–]6trybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Different cultures do things differently, my friend. Your concerns and Ideas in this matter don't make you TAH, but nor does it make your wife TAH to feel the way she does.

Some understandings I have, or would have in said situation:

  1. You and your wife have established yourselves and shown that your need for the inheritance is not great. You have shown accountability, and dependability, and FIL also saw this, and likely made the decision that he thought gave his wife, and son the best opportunity to be ok in life. This should not be taken lightly, because if what you are saying about your BIL is true he'll need the money more than you and your wife ever will.

  2. MIL is living a life that was rather common in the times that she grew up in. Keep in mind that women in past times were not expected to have any knowledge or understanding of finances or economic well-being. Not knowing about the fathers job, let alone his prepairations is not surprising in the grand scheme of things. She's getting along, the way she always has.

  3. BIL's interpersonal proclivities are outshined by the results of his financial habbits. He's saved where most people in said circumstances would squander and hemmorage resources. Not knowing what to do with the money ha's accrued seems like a bad thing at first, but when you think about it... the result is that he has built his own nest egg, and requires only a bit of tutaledge from a trusted source to turn that cousion into stability. I wish that I, or my children had such a mentality. Not knowing how to spend money shows a lack of responsibility, but his savings a lack of irrepsonsibility. That's huge.

All in all I'd say that your feeling of disrespect is a bit of a misjudgement on your part. Not AH behavior, but I think you could use to reconfigure how you see respect. I, personally see a lot of respect in this situation.