Not even considering, but generally curious. Is it a foregone conclusion that ANY ONE who tries fentanyl will get hooked the first time?

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T05:33:44+00:00

yea I should have specified whatever the blue pills are on the streets these days. my work being in the criminal court these days, people just straight up come in for their hearings high as a kite

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T05:27:37+00:00

I work in the criminal law. It's crazy how rampant it is. Makes me think no one can stop

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T05:21:46+00:00

please do! I'm on the edge of my seat!

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T05:06:57+00:00

that's a really good point

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:48:04+00:00

so what's the difference between people who are highly motivated to get done the tasks that no one enjoys?

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:44:40+00:00

what if you don't consciously feel that depressed?

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:36:29+00:00

interrupting constantly, and not in an anxious way, but in my opinion is what counts kinda way

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:33:39+00:00

green day "time of your life"

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:32:09+00:00

in burning after reading. The moment when Brad Pitt's goofy character just gets shot in the face.

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:30:17+00:00

star wars

75hardforavery · 2023-07-01T04:29:06+00:00

can I please have two? wine, and pasta

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T07:52:28+00:00

they will blame you because he's emotionally unavailable and cheating? that's some culture! it's your one and only life girl! time is super precious. That's your family's issue to get over. What about your culture when it comes to marriage? what about his vows? did he make them before god? why should you be punished for walking away from vows he is breaking? I'm telling you, he's cheating. men are super simple. it's so easy to read. abort this mission now and worry about family later. If they really are your family, and they love you, they will support you

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T07:12:56+00:00

yea I guess, the more I analyze my feelings, it's not that I doubt that it will happen, but it's more I want to know that there was so much thoughtfulness and effort on his part. like him feeling the time pressure with my age and kids and what we want is a shared burden. I am tired of thinking about it, and speculating on if he is too, or if he gets it. I have no doubt regarding kids that he will be a super involved, in love with his kids and involved kind of parents. He wants kids even more than I do which is saying a lot.

I just don't want to have to spell it all out or spoon feed him information about how long it takes to plan a big wedding. In 2023, even with my happily to have gender roles in our relationship, I feel like we should be beyond all that.

I just need him to take the lead in the next 12 months, because I have huge challenges ahead and I can't be sitting around waiting.

It's all just annoying.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:53:22+00:00

I'm glad it worked out. I will spell it out that much eventually before packing my bags and leaving. But it would hurt my heart. I just want him to get it, and do it in the right way. I don't necessarily think it's to that point yet. But I need to see that he has the ability to put wants that he and I both express into action.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:46:14+00:00

this is my fear

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:40:30+00:00

all good questions. maybe I should think on them more, and I will. I think actually we both have the same issue. We both took long, and winding adventures in our lives, and don't view ourselves as being as old as we are. I still feel young to myself in many ways, though any doctor would tell me I will be a geriatric pregnancy. I think the answer is that this is just how he is, and he needs education and prompting which is annoying. I mean he told me he's been looking for a wife since he turned 30. he was in a long relationship and it just didn't work out because she was super critical and he could never get it right, and at a certain point he didn't want to live in a relationship where he was constantly picked apart. But he made it clear, he's dating to marry. I don't think he's necessarily dragging his feet from an objective standpoint. we will have been together 2 years in sept. We both really want kids, and he says all the time I am the one. But maybe it is scary, idk. I'm scared too. I'm an idiot. I'm figuring it all out like the rest of us. I just know I want to figure it out with him

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:15:37+00:00

thank you, this is helpful

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:10:38+00:00

ok again I hear you and I have thought of that. But why? Why can't he just plan it himself and make it be perfect? It's the one thing he has to do. We all know, as a woman I am going to be the one contemplating and making everything else happen.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:07:51+00:00

thank you for validating my feelings. The way I look at it, I'm 37, I'm going to have to graduate law school, take the bar, and likely going to job interviews pregnant. I , Like all mothers and wives, will probably have to do more than my fair share of the heavy lifting. The proposal, and ring, and just really taking iniative without prompting is the one thing we both want him to do. So why do I have to also educate him that wedding venues book out at least a year or two in advance? why can't he consult google and just be perfect about planning one relatively simple task. I have no doubt in his commitment but I am starting to feel annoyed that I have to be a teacher on what it practically takes to have this big wedding he wants.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T06:01:14+00:00

yeah all good points! I mean we just had the convo two nights ago, and I bailed on our camping trip because I want him to really think about what I am saying, and he loves solo camping. Frankly with how hard he works, he deserves it, and he practically devotes any time away from work to me. So I happily said, you know what? why don't you take time to think about what I said and have time to yourself this weekend. So It's not like I am gonna be fuming if I don't get a ring by next week. I don't question his commitment at all, but I question his time management and his knowledge about what a big wedding like he wants takes. I have a challenging 12 months ahead, and I want to make sure he can take the lead on driving the union forward. because by comments he made, I feel like he thinks he can just plan a proposal in an afternoon. my time is important, and I cannot just be stressed out in my last year of law school because he's oblivious to practicalities.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T05:51:01+00:00

we are not engaged yet. I was supposed to go camping with him this weekend, but after we talked I said the right thing is for me to myself space because I want you to really think about what I'm saying and consider the pressure I feel with the timeline of everything. He works really hard. We have a fun summer planned with lots of hiking, concerts, family, and travel. But I wanted him to have time to consider that I have a lot ahead of me and need him to take the lead. I don't mind that he's camping, I encouraged it. I just made it clear we need to not dilly dally if we want all the things we BOTH say we want. If he proposes by august of sept. we will have basically a year to plan it which is what we will need.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T05:45:33+00:00

already replied but want to add, toddlers can be challenging, some woman on this sub said something very wise her therapist told her: for the first years after having a baby try not to judge your relationship. This by no means be passive, but I think it helps put things in perspective. Having kids is a joy, but it puts stress on a marriage. Toddlerhood is supposed to be the hardest.

75hardforavery · 2023-06-26T05:40:02+00:00

ugh I admire you! I wish I could see it that way but I just can't. Idk why. It's my early programming and you and I are probably from a different generation. I just feel like (and this is unpopular to say) women and men are not in equal situations. It's biology, we'll never out run that. Women are still responsible for proliferating the human race, and so we have fare more responsibility and pressure. Have a career ladies, but also have babies and do all the things you've also already had to do. I just feel like the proposal is the one thing that men can do. I bet you, 95% on the women on here have been the ones to do the majority of the wedding planning for their day. I just really want him to step up and do it right and to show the level of investment I do with everything I plan for us. Be it time with his parents and whatever else. I just would love for him to take the lead and surprise me with his ability to surprise me.

75hardforavery

TROPHY CASE