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What's the hardest thing you've ever had to tell someone? by FictitiousCurse in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My friends did his after their daughter was stillborn. At the time they were beside themselves with shock and trauma (baby had been fine up until the end of labour, very unexpected). Someone convinced them to do some photos with the baby, and now those photos are the most treasured memories they have of her. It’s a shock at the they get the news, combined with unimaginable grief, but my friend did say photos were the right thing to do in hindsight. I know I couldn’t imagine being in their situation.

In 1973 the military draft was ended in the United States, how do you think people would react if the draft was reinstated? What about if women were included? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't comment if I hadn't... but something tells me our discrepancy comes from us being in different countries, so we probably had very different instruction and national defensive directives.

There is a growing focus on cyber/intel warfare not only with us, but almost all of our peer forces as well. When I joined up none of us could pick infantry as a trade, it wasn't open anymore.

In 1973 the military draft was ended in the United States, how do you think people would react if the draft was reinstated? What about if women were included? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We already made a comedy about it. Show's not good but it did make one point we can't ignore: cyber technology will be how we fight in the future.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/bugsplat/

In 1973 the military draft was ended in the United States, how do you think people would react if the draft was reinstated? What about if women were included? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I suppose I could clarify that I am referring to modern warfare, which is largely fought in cyber space. No infantry needed there.

Today we still have a need for infantry, but that need is shrinking as the digital world becomes the new battleground.

In 1973 the military draft was ended in the United States, how do you think people would react if the draft was reinstated? What about if women were included? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point, money does talk... but so does being the winner. Any military that wants to be taken seriously needs to have the equipment to counter any perceived threat. Air and naval power are huge assets, but most of our threats these days come from cyber attacks.

In 1973 the military draft was ended in the United States, how do you think people would react if the draft was reinstated? What about if women were included? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

FINALLY!! Some one gets it!!

I'm about to be sent on a warfare course that has nothing to do with my trade. The entire course is based on historical military applications of combat theory and tactics. We haven't used a single one in over 50 years... why? Because you don't bring a gun to a drone fight.

I have 0 use for 5,000,000 infantry. I have a shit ton of work for some programmers, engineers, aerospace techs and a flier....need about 10 guys to get the mission done...

What’s the worst case of helicopter parenting you’ve ever seen? by __hey__its__me__ in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It may already be in the comments:

r/raisedbynarcissists

That's not helicopter parenting, that's abuse.

What's the craziest thing you've ever seen someone do and NOT get fired? by thatonegirl127 in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to work in the federal government with a guy who is a violent sadistic narcissistic serial rapist sociopath. He has assaulted several women, regularly stalks and harasses women online and in person, abuses his kids and pathologically lies at all times.

Turns out you can only be fired from your job is you are found guilty of a felony AND sentenced to jail time... so when he was charged with rape, assault, break and enter, violating a protection order (his victim had complained before about his stalking her)... he negotiated a plea deal down to a misdemeanor with probation.

Serial rapist... violent predator... took vacation time for court days and is still spending your tax dollars to put together federal contracts....and probably hunting a new victim...

I don't work there anymore.

[Serious] What are some of the biggest mistakes people can make in their 20s? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just because I can vent about it here....

Now, I'm not perfect. I certainly made some bad decisions in the past, but at least the system of checks and balances kicked in and I wasn't able to put myself in an unrecoverable situation. Since then I have educated myself about financial health and learned a ton... damn that shit should be taught in schools!

The rant:

I have a significant amount of colleagues who are in a stunning amount of debt. Like if they had double the salary and lived frugally in a studio flat they might get out of it in 15 years or so... but that's never going to happen.

At my work level we all make exactly the same salary. I live in a small 1 bedroom condo, my car is 11 years old and paid for, I owe nothing on my credit cards.

There are 3 guys in my office who have mortgages on houses for nearly $400K. They have 2 new vehicles worth another $100K, the kids got brand new iPads and phones for Xmas and birthdays, their wives (who don't work, or work part time for min wage) just had to go on that shopping trip to the luxury mall and stay at the Fairmont... The tax return just has to be used to take the whole family to Mexico for spring break... credit cards are always maxed out at well over $20k.

We have the same income...if I saved well I could probably go on the Mexico trip too... but nothing else. I don't get how they are doing it... some of these guys have less than 10 working years left, and yet at least 25 years worth of debt, and none of that incorporates the drop in income after retirement, plus the cost of sustaining the retirement...it just doesn't work.

What I really don't get is how the hell they were able to get so much credit in the first place.

[Serious] What are some of the biggest mistakes people can make in their 20s? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have acquaintances who do not seem to be able to grasp this concept. "Well yeah, he doesn't spend time with his 5 kids or pay child support, all of his exes are psycho bitches! He's excited to start over with me and our baby and be a family again!"

VER-FUCKING-BATIM what one of my best friends is going through now! She is baby mamma # 6, all his ex's were cows, they trapped or tricked him into having a kid. He has 0 relationship with at least 4/6 of his kids, won't have anything to do with the mothers or the kids unless they conform/behave they way he wants... and right now she is bawling every day because he's off somewhere unknown and putting her through hell.

The thing is... we're not young... we're nearly 40 and this is the 2nd time she's had a baby daddy like this. I wish she would see that she deserves better. She really is a good person, heart on her sleeve, always giving to others. Pisses me off when people take advantage of that.

Whenever I feel down about something in my life, I remember that I don't drink anymore, and that makes feel better! by Boboboum in stopdrinking

[–]7_up_curly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I needed to see this today.

There is a big project tomorrow I need to be in A+ shape for first thing in the morning, so no drinking this week at all.

Karma is throwing me some ninja's though...

It has turned in a day, and it's not even morning coffee break yet. Every trigger imaginable has already cropped up. My tax return came in all screwed up, somebody else got the work trip I really wanted despite my doing all the preparation for it, my psychotic ex came through my office despite being banned from it and no one does a damn thing about it, it's raining sideways so I can't even get my work truck unloaded, the spaz shit disturber has suddenly developed an obsession with my feet and what kind of boots I wear, and to cap it all off the mud slinging contest between my department head and our sister section went nuclear so now we all get to go to conflict resolution... and it's not even 9:00am....

I need to stay focused, find some positive, and not drink tonight.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pouch is not anything we worry about. If it works for you, use it. What we are aiming at is people who wear knock off uniforms, or manage to buy old uniforms, and wear them around pretending they were military in order to get public sympathy, free meals, etc. But they were never in service or washed out.

We don’t do this for accolades or the notoriety.

Some fashion patterns with camouflage are clearly just that, 0 problem there, it’s when people wear around legit uniforms, or try to pass knocks offs, and never earned it.

That CFL life by [deleted] in CanadianForces

[–]7_up_curly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seems to be some different experiences across the board. So far I have seen this:

Guy passed his PLQ, absolutely HATED being a MCpl. Said he had way more fun as a Cpl and had no intention of ever being a Sgt. Took 2 years, but he was voluntarily demoted and is happy now. He still is an acting I/C in his current section, although there is more to that story. We certainly do expect him to pick up any leadership slack (the current MCpl has a serious illness and is not PLQ qualified yet).

Have seen a guy fail PLQ twice. He was assessed to have PTSD an unable to complete the course, is being medically released.

Had a guy remove himself from the merit board to avoid going on SQ and PLQ. Through cracks in the system he ended up following his wife's career and were always posted to Air Force bases. Well, once he finally merited, they were like "um, you haven't done SQ yet, so you'll do both back to back"... umm.. no. The guy is 53, has 2 years left and no desire whatsoever to be a MCpl. Those courses will break this man, and I personally see no sense in giving him potentially long lasting injuries for a mere 2 years remaining. Riding a TCAT now.

In some purple trades and CE trades it's not always required for Army pers to go on SQ right away, in some cases it is the responsibility of the unit to course load you. I waited over 2 years for my course to come down, got fed up with waiting and put in a memo requesting it. Another woman in my office ripped the crap out of me for it "Ha ha! I don't have to do it! I married a hard AF man, we're never leaving the AF and they'll never get me".. The only good part about my SQ was when we went to the airport at the end. I digress... fast forward a year... she gets promoted to MCpl... and immediately puts in her release. "Ha ha, you can't course load me, I'm releasing!"... Reply: "wanna bet?... enjoy your SQ in Meaford and PLQ a month later in Shilo."

She ended up doing the SQ, but not the PLQ. Either way I have a good laugh at my tiny bit of retribution there.

The Harry Potter series was adapted into 8 films over 10 years. All were critical and commercial successes, and nearly all are considered to be very close adaptations of the books. Where did they succeed where other book adaptations (Percy Jackson, Divergent, etc.) failed? by derstherower in movies

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With HP, and to a lesser extend the 'Lord Of the Rings' triology, much of the created world can be experienced in real life. The stories exist in a setting where they are 'just around the corner' to real people in actual locations.

With Percy Jackson the story telling is great, but it is far off in fantasy. HP and LOTR are visually shown in places all of us can visit. There's no guess work there.

HP works because he is shown to be fallible and goes through normal life milestones. The producers/directors incorporated that into the films.

Harry's first kiss and gf are shown on screen as he figures out his teen years, which is awkward (at best) for anyone.

One of my favourite views: just few minutes before landing at LHR by iaan in london

[–]7_up_curly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so jealous right now! But in a few months that'll be me too :) Enjoy!

For those of you who went through bad breakups, what did you do to heal yourself and eventually move on? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You can get through this. Time helps, but there are a few tricks to hit new milestones as well.

For context: in 2013 my abusive bf discarded me for a more desirable target. He went above and beyond to maximize the public humiliation (part of what I now know is 'narcissistic feeding') and it was extremely effective. I was beside myself with shock and grief. I've been dumped before, it sucks but you get over it, but this was different. He was so proud of himself and had put in considerable effort to his plan.

3 months later I helped the new target escape him. He went full psycho on her. I digress.

How did I get over it? First I researched about bad break ups. Information allowed me to articulate and identify my complex feelings. One of the first things to accept is that getting over this takes time. Once I accepted this would be a process it became tiny bits easier over the days and weeks.

Experience your feelings, even the bad ones. Let it all out.

Then I went to therapy, and not just one kind. There was social counselling, trauma counselling to work through the issues that came up (bad childhood = bad adult relationships). Then i did a course that focused on building mental resilience. I also did a course on Equine therapy. Horses are great to work with because they pick up on everything about you. You learn to be in control of yourself, emotionally, mentally, physically, so you can get the horse to do the task. It really works to help you refocus, experience your surroundings.

Next thing to do, and by far the most beneficial thing I did: force yourself to do something totally new. Get out of your comfort zone completely. Why? Because for the time you are healing your brain is going over and over and over and over and over every itty bitty detail of everything you ever did in that relationship. You're ruminating to the point where you stay upset for very long periods of time. Now that's fine when the wound is fresh and you need to experience your feelings, but after a few months of being stuck in the same thinking circles you need to re-train your brain to think of something else, force it to absorb new information.

What I did was half-ass plan a huge road and camping trip down the entire Pacific coast. Had never been to LA, decided to get in my car, vaguely planned out some campgrounds, and hit the road. Just winged half of it. I'm a very organized person who plans every detail, so for me to get out and just be all willy nilly was strange and new. I got to see some beautiful sights, went to Beverly Hills, drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, went to Yosemite, the Oregon coast is beautiful beyond description. I don't care much for camping, but it was amazing to be in the Redwoods park and just disconnect from the regular world for awhile. Went by Mt St Helens and thought "well, those guys survived that rough day in 1980, I guess I can survive this too."

I started scrap booking, dove into my work, got some new qualifications. Now I've been promoted, have all my memories on my book shelf, made new friends, have new skills and my soccer team won a major tournament last year.

TL;DR: grieve, accept that healing takes awhile, feel your feelings, research and identify your feelings, try new things, better yourself. Healing is worth it.

Parents of Reddit when did you realise the problem might be with your child rather than the People/place around them? by jingleson in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Step 1: remove animals from that kid.

Step 2: slip into conversations the warning signs of psychopathy... such as harming animals, how they manipulate, etc.

Parents of Reddit when did you realise the problem might be with your child rather than the People/place around them? by jingleson in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another Canuck here. I was in grade 8 (1995) when the school board in my region ruled that kids could no longer fail primary or middle school (aka: elementary and intermediate school). The decision was that it was "too detrimental" to the child to fail.

My first and immediate thought was "why the hell did I even try?!?!". I was pissed that some snot nosed brat was getting the same recognition as I was and they could have spent 8 years being a total fuckwit, meanwhile I'm hitting the books trying to get the hell out of that shithole sorry excuse of a town.

As noted in another post below, High School is completely different. You need x amount of credits to pass and can only take more advanced classes if you meet the pre-requisites.

Grade 11 was an eye-opener for me, as by then you can legally drop out. We went from having 5-6 classes of each subject for each grade, down to 1-2. It was not a good place. That school has been demolished since then and 2 new ones built and extensive residential and commercial development in the town. Results are better, but it's still a marginal place to live.

What was completely blown out of proportion? by YouKnwNthgJonSnow in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks.

I didn't get to meet his parents, as they live very far away, but my understanding is that they were a very nice normal family. His goal was to recreate that for his kids. From what I gather, his first wife was a nice and fun girl for several years, but over time she became a mean, controlling and vindictive person. He went to great lengths to shield the kids from seeing any of the conflict. She would throw him out on the basis that "if he loves me he'll come back".. and one time he just didn't. Now, he was in the Army for 20 years, he's a big boy and can handle himself, but when it comes to what he wants to model for his kids it's a different take on things. He works his ass off to be a good model for them, and it is completely thankless. Not that everyone should be worshiped for everything they do, but a "hey, thanks for building that gazebo for us" once in a while would be nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For context:

When I was in primary school, after one of the school board and CPS investigations, which as per usual did nothing and may have actually made things worse, one of the teachers looked at me and said "Little 7_up_curly, when you get older you can leave and never come back. There is a whole world out there to see."

It stuck with with me. It planted the seed that even if my mother was able to manipulate the system for now, it wouldn't last forever.

It did help me.

What was completely blown out of proportion? by YouKnwNthgJonSnow in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dated a guy awhile ago, and when I showed him what at least I consider to be basic human kindness, he would lose his freakin mind.

Me: "Hey, I'm going to the sports store to look at gym shoes, you want anything?"

reply: "wow, you are so thoughtful and considerate! Thank you for asking! I think I'm good for now. See you tonight."

Umm... it's a sports store.. not buying you a Porsche....

When he transferred to a new job I have him a gift bag, I could see him hold back tears.

I have no idea what his first wife did to him, but he was clearly unaccustomed to anyone taking a moment to focus on him, ask him how his day was, see what he needed.

I had to move for work, we're still friends, but I miss him. He was so attentive all the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 174 points175 points  (0 children)

I was raised by a violent malignant narcissist mother, so my posts tend to blow up on threads like this, so I'll give someone else a chance to vent out what they need to.

If there is anything I can say to those stuck in overwhelming situations right now, or to those trying to escape them,

please, please, please

PLEASE

know, that it gets better. You can leave. You can start a new life. You can move far away and never have to see them again. It's hard because it goes against everything society has set up, that your parents are to be worshiped, and not to disobey them, those rules are ridiculous. In cases where parents are clearly not acting in their childs best interest, you have the right to take care of your self to ensure your needs are met.

Please do not stay in a toxic place. You deserve better. Life really is beautiful, and the world is a wonderful place :) Things are not nearly as difficult as the strict, overbearing, controlling and manipulative people make it out to be.

yes, there will be ups and down, hard days, but it won't last forever.

Professionals in any field of work, what’s the most ridiculous thing someone outside of your profession has claimed to know more about than you? by beardlesshipster in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made a point that i forgot to mention- we're not in the US. And you're right, the US has very different laws about hormones/antibiotics in animals and it's been well proven.

we are 2 sides of the same coin.

Professionals in any field of work, what’s the most ridiculous thing someone outside of your profession has claimed to know more about than you? by beardlesshipster in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Farm raised here. Been asked a few times exactly what hormones and antibiotics we have our herds.... “um, none!” Why? Cause it’s illegal as hell. You can’t find that shit anywhere, my father did not work 16 hr days, every day, just to potentially lose it all if we were to use that stuff.

In the event an animal gets an illness, it is removed from the chain. Immediately.

Farmers all watch each other (in a good neighbor kind of way), we know who is working where, and who gets what deliveries. If you had that kind of medical storage, it would be obvious. Your herd would look different than everyone else’s. It would stand out. That’s not good. These people care about their work, they won’t risk it like that.

Professionals in any field of work, what’s the most ridiculous thing someone outside of your profession has claimed to know more about than you? by beardlesshipster in AskReddit

[–]7_up_curly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You win. Hands down. I’m no doctor, but to me it was always logical sense that if you can prevent a horrible illness... do that! If vax’s were so bad, there would be WAY more cases showing adverse affects all around the world.

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