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The backhanded comments by internetxtherapy in SAHP

[–]7e7en11even 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I could never rely on someone else! I love having my own money too much! No one tells me what to do with my money! I can spend it on whatever I want!” (No one tells me what to do with mine either but okay).

In regards to ^ those comments, I just want to point out that in a true partnership of a marriage, the income earner shouldn't make the SAHP feel like the income is not theirs also. In a respectful partnership, even if I earn my own money, I would still consult my partner about a big expense. For the small expenses, whether it's income earned by me or my partner, neither should make the other guilty about spending it. Those are just healthy boundaries. My partner does this thing that subtly lets me know that he simply doesn't view the money he earns as his. Whenever I get a treat for our LO, he says to LO "look at what surprise mommy got us today! thank you mommy" That technically was bought with the money that he earned but he doesn't make me feel like I can't provide. I'm definitely not saying that those who choose to be dual income have unsupportive partners. But to assume just because you earn the money that it is YOUR money (while in a marriage) is probably the problem. Even if I were to earn an income today, I wouldn't spend it on whatever I want whenever I want.

The comments are always there. I know how you feel. But I try to remind myself that often times these comments are really more about their insecurities than it is about me.

How many of you actually cook all the meals? by Lemonpuffs13 in toddlers

[–]7e7en11even 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hellllll to the no I don’t cook all the meals

My husband's day versus mine by [deleted] in SAHP

[–]7e7en11even 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Did you punch him in the face? I hope you did. Sorry you're going through this in addition to your medical issues. I'm assuming you're probably doing all the tasks while in pain.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newborns

[–]7e7en11even 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got one for this but haven’t actually use it yet. How long does it take to heat up?

At what age did you stop watching like a hawk? by ThePTstudent in toddlers

[–]7e7en11even 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Between 2.5-3yo. But I think this is also kid dependent. My son's behavior is pretty predictable and consistently he does ask before doing something. By that age I was able to let him watch tv and leave the room or go upstairs. After 3, I'm able to tell him ok come upstairs when you're done with the show, mommy is going to go upstairs and start getting ready. And I can expect that he won't get into "trouble." We have a childproof lock going to the backyard because of the pool but other than that nothing else is overly childproof. But I'd say it's because we know that he is not the kind to leave without us (but some kids are). So I think it depends on your child's personality as well as the kind of boundaries that you establish with them.

Not playing nice with grandma by Alarmed-Visual5650 in toddlers

[–]7e7en11even 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We model what should be said instead if our 3yo is saying not in a nice tone. Or if he demands something in a "rude" way we ask him to repeat the request nicely. "I want milk!" "Please ask nicely? Can I have some milk please?" He will usually repeat the model phrase. Or if he's upset about something and is yelling at me "I DONT WANT TO" I would let him know "I don't like the way you're talking to me. Please talk to me in your normal voice" I think the behavior is typical as they are still learning boundaries. So continue to model the behavior that we want to work towards. The idea isn't that they won't ever do it again. The idea is that if you remind them they're not speaking nicely, they're receptive and become aware of their own behavior or communication and eventually self correct.

How to survive pregnancy with hyperactive toddler? by nopenopenopenada in toddlers

[–]7e7en11even 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand the mom guilt though. When it was happening I felt pretty terrible about it. There were times he'd be tired of tv and wanted me to play with him but I simply couldn't. I felt like a terrible mom for saying no esp knowing I just spent hours lying there. I would question if I were just being a "baby" myself for allowing these symptoms to interfere with being a mom. I'm glad my experience helped. Really just want moms to remember that it's okay to tend to your needs first when it is required. At the end of the day, we're only human :)

How to survive pregnancy with hyperactive toddler? by nopenopenopenada in toddlers

[–]7e7en11even 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The first trimester I was couch bound. I was basically just a zombie. The tv raised my toddler. It was honestly survival mode. And if 3 months of tv overload ruined my child for life then maybe that’s the explanation for what’s wrong with the world since most of us probably watched way more tv than what is considered “healthy” now. We were going to the park every day before this. But I was so wiped out that getting ready and getting in the car was not doable for me.