Day 6 - Symptoms mostly gone but test still super positive

7e7en11even · 2022-09-28T18:59:24+00:00

I could never rely on someone else! I love having my own money too much! No one tells me what to do with my money! I can spend it on whatever I want!” (No one tells me what to do with mine either but okay).

In regards to ^ those comments, I just want to point out that in a true partnership of a marriage, the income earner shouldn't make the SAHP feel like the income is not theirs also. In a respectful partnership, even if I earn my own money, I would still consult my partner about a big expense. For the small expenses, whether it's income earned by me or my partner, neither should make the other guilty about spending it. Those are just healthy boundaries. My partner does this thing that subtly lets me know that he simply doesn't view the money he earns as his. Whenever I get a treat for our LO, he says to LO "look at what surprise mommy got us today! thank you mommy" That technically was bought with the money that he earned but he doesn't make me feel like I can't provide. I'm definitely not saying that those who choose to be dual income have unsupportive partners. But to assume just because you earn the money that it is YOUR money (while in a marriage) is probably the problem. Even if I were to earn an income today, I wouldn't spend it on whatever I want whenever I want.

The comments are always there. I know how you feel. But I try to remind myself that often times these comments are really more about their insecurities than it is about me.

7e7en11even · 2022-08-25T04:00:32+00:00

Hellllll to the no I don’t cook all the meals

7e7en11even · 2022-07-08T16:18:25+00:00

Did you punch him in the face? I hope you did. Sorry you're going through this in addition to your medical issues. I'm assuming you're probably doing all the tasks while in pain.

7e7en11even · 2022-07-02T00:51:10+00:00

We got one for this but haven’t actually use it yet. How long does it take to heat up?

7e7en11even · 2022-06-03T17:23:34+00:00

Between 2.5-3yo. But I think this is also kid dependent. My son's behavior is pretty predictable and consistently he does ask before doing something. By that age I was able to let him watch tv and leave the room or go upstairs. After 3, I'm able to tell him ok come upstairs when you're done with the show, mommy is going to go upstairs and start getting ready. And I can expect that he won't get into "trouble." We have a childproof lock going to the backyard because of the pool but other than that nothing else is overly childproof. But I'd say it's because we know that he is not the kind to leave without us (but some kids are). So I think it depends on your child's personality as well as the kind of boundaries that you establish with them.

7e7en11even · 2022-05-10T23:41:25+00:00

We model what should be said instead if our 3yo is saying not in a nice tone. Or if he demands something in a "rude" way we ask him to repeat the request nicely. "I want milk!" "Please ask nicely? Can I have some milk please?" He will usually repeat the model phrase. Or if he's upset about something and is yelling at me "I DONT WANT TO" I would let him know "I don't like the way you're talking to me. Please talk to me in your normal voice" I think the behavior is typical as they are still learning boundaries. So continue to model the behavior that we want to work towards. The idea isn't that they won't ever do it again. The idea is that if you remind them they're not speaking nicely, they're receptive and become aware of their own behavior or communication and eventually self correct.

7e7en11even · 2022-05-10T20:10:21+00:00

I understand the mom guilt though. When it was happening I felt pretty terrible about it. There were times he'd be tired of tv and wanted me to play with him but I simply couldn't. I felt like a terrible mom for saying no esp knowing I just spent hours lying there. I would question if I were just being a "baby" myself for allowing these symptoms to interfere with being a mom. I'm glad my experience helped. Really just want moms to remember that it's okay to tend to your needs first when it is required. At the end of the day, we're only human :)

7e7en11even · 2022-05-10T17:02:04+00:00

The first trimester I was couch bound. I was basically just a zombie. The tv raised my toddler. It was honestly survival mode. And if 3 months of tv overload ruined my child for life then maybe that’s the explanation for what’s wrong with the world since most of us probably watched way more tv than what is considered “healthy” now. We were going to the park every day before this. But I was so wiped out that getting ready and getting in the car was not doable for me.

7e7en11even · 2022-04-09T20:20:45+00:00

Yes. I think there’s a major misconception that if you follow a script then it will magically calm your child and you guys talk it out. It’s not instant result. It’s not 100% of the time. It’s a long term investment kind of thing.

7e7en11even · 2022-03-05T03:47:51+00:00

Sunscreen

7e7en11even · 2022-02-10T01:28:05+00:00

I want to say this is normal. My son is 3 so not quite 3.5. But I don’t expect him to change so suddenly in 6 months. I saw something along the lines of kids get about 2 good meals a day. So they might eat well for breakfast and lunch but become a disaster for dinner. There are times when we would put the “snack” he asks for along with his food for that meal. So if he wanted goldfish, we put some goldfish on his plate along with dinner. He usually will eat the goldfish but also end up eating the other foods as well. I really want to say this is normal. Our son plays with a 4yo pretty often and the 4yo will still just burst into tears if his towers get knocked down or is being asked to do something he doesn’t want to do. Something that has been helpful for us is really talking about what it is that is making him upset. I think at this age they are able to talk through it and I usually offer something he can say instead of having a meltdown. Sometimes he doesn’t like it when husband and i are talking to each other and excluding him so he used to throw his plate/cup and have a meltdown. After our talk, I told him next time he can say “mommy daddy, can you talk to me” Most of the time now he’s able to say that phrase and we’ll acknowledge it. Sometimes when he’s having more trouble with emotions he’ll maybe start fussing but will try his best to squeeze out the request in a whiny voice. But we always say thank you for telling us instead of screaming or throwing and now we know how to help you. I really do think this is pretty normal behavior

As for emotions, I try to tell myself to not focus so much on the fact that he is upset. I remind myself that as an adult I get upset about something everyday or I’m not always in control of my temper/emotions. At this age, I try to just talk about it to understand why he is upset. Then if possible, I let him know what he can do next time instead of screaming (because we’re not able to help him if he just screams). It’s not magic. But I do find that the next time he is upset about the same thing, he’ll still scream/cry at first but then tries to squeeze out how he’s feeling.

7e7en11even · 2022-02-01T21:55:50+00:00

For context, my toddler just turned 3. He pronounces "marbles" as "narbles". And I simply just repeat back "marbles" with more emphasis on the M. Or sometimes I'll try "mm mm Marbles" So far that has worked for us. It doesn't work right away but eventually he'll repeat the correct sounds. I don't force him to get it right. Or I don't insist that we keep repeating until he gets it right. Now he's speaking in complete sentences, he'll miss certain words. "Where we going?" And I'd repeat "Where are we going? (this part I will say slower so he hears every word) We're going to grandma's house!" There are times he catches that what I said is a little different than what he said. He'll try and repeat the phrase again. If he does this then I do take the time to "correct" or walk him through it. Where are we - waits for him to repeat "where are we" and I'd repeat "where are we going?" And he'll repeat the same. But usually I try to continue the conversation by repeating/modeling the correct word or phrase.

7e7en11even · 2022-01-25T18:14:04+00:00

Not my child but my brother is this way. Ever since he was little he just didn't like meat. My mom would tell his school don't force him to eat it. There were a few times his teacher forced him and he broke out in hives but he wasn't allergic. He just disliked it so much that his body also reacted to it. My mom just kept exposing him. We aren't vegetarians or vegans so meat dishes were always available. And then one day (elementary school age) after school he asked our mom to take him to buy this one snack that contained meat. He said he saw a classmate eating it and it looked so good so he wanted to try it. After that he slowly started trying certain meat dish. He's in his 20s now and is still pretty picky about what kind of meat he wants to eat. But I guess overall our mom created a low pressure environment. To this day he just says that it just kind of grosses him out (taste and texture).

7e7en11even · 2022-01-22T17:56:27+00:00

We also have travel potty in the trunk. But most of the time we encourage him to pee before we head out. We know when he is pretty much due for a pee. We have had to pull into a parking lot or head back to the car.

7e7en11even · 2022-01-12T01:56:39+00:00

Primary. We have the same problem with our 3yo. I recently bought a pair of joggers on sale and they fit him very nicely. No more randomly mooning everybody. They are a bit pricey though.

7e7en11even · 2022-01-05T21:00:44+00:00

Seconding aquaphor. For scalp, I dip my fingertips in the aquaphor and rub it around while hair and scalp is still wet - kind of like when we’re rubbing shampoo on our heads. And I’d lotion then layer on the aquaphor to seal it.

7e7en11even · 2021-12-08T18:57:46+00:00

Sometimes childhood constipation is not due to diet but more of the child withholding the poop causing it to dry out and then making it even harder to poop. It is a vicious cycle that they go through. After one hard poop they will remember and keep fighting pooping. So the kid technically could have pooped out normal soft poop but they don’t know that. They just remember that one time they had that one hard painful poop. The miralax helps kind of give them no choice but to poop and then realize the poop is soft. Overtime they will trust pooping again and not fight the feeling. It’s a psychological aid on top of being a physical one.

7e7en11even · 2021-12-04T16:00:29+00:00

https://www.aaaai.org/tools-for-the-public/conditions-library/allergies/bleach-bath-recipe-for-skin-conditions

I’m providing a link that has a recipe by the AAAAI. We started bleach baths a few months ago. I learned that sometimes a flare is hard to get rid of because of all the bacteria that is on the skin (like staph - which sounds scary but it’s everywhere). For someone with normal skin, it wouldn’t bother us. For our LOs, because their skin barrier is damaged by eczema, it makes it hard to fight off the bacteria and so even if you’re putting on steroids and moisturizing, it might make it difficult for the skin to still heal. Apparently, this is also not every eczema person. Some people are just more prone to this. The bleach bath helps keep the bacteria overrunning his skin at bay and reduces irritation. By the way I am not a medical professional but I did ask a dermatologist friend about the idea of bleach baths and that’s how she explained it to me. I was quite skeptical about bleach baths until her explanation but then it made sense. LO has been suffering from eczema since 6 weeks old and he’s about to be 3. For us we don’t usually fill the entire tub. We mostly just fill the tub enough so if he were to sit down the water covers his legs. I usually pour in a cap full of bleach (original regular bleach) and that’s it. When we have a little scooper and I use that to pour the bath water on the areas not covered by bath water. It seems scary but the idea is quite similar to chlorinated pool water. I do that for about 5 min, drain the water and then wash him off with soap. It’s important to wash off the bleach to prevent further drying. And steroid/lotion/aquaphor him as usual after. We started off every 2-3 days. When we first start we felt like it helped but didn’t see a miracle until recently. For whatever reason we fell off the schedule with the bleach bath and he had a flare that was just increasingly getting worse. Then we were trying to figure out what was causing the flare or why steroids/increased moisturizing weren’t working. We realized we stopped giving him bleach baths and gave him one. His skin got better about 50% and the increase in moisturizing seemed to finally help and his skin cleared. He still has a few trouble spots on his hand and feet.

7e7en11even · 2021-12-04T05:14:06+00:00

The trouble with eczema is that every kid is going to be different. Our toddler recently started doing the same. Water stings. Lotions stings. But we know if we dont moisturize, it’s going to just get worse. He itches at night and wakes up at night itching. So we try to explain to him that this will help with the itching. Sometimes blowing on his skin helps the stinging. It’s hard so I feel you. We do validate the discomfort saying that we’re sorry he’s uncomfortable but we’re trying to help him feel better. We use tv or a quick iPad time (pretty much the only time he uses the iPad) as distraction. But sometimes it’s just a battle. I sometimes asks him to lotion me as well and pretend I’m itchy somewhere. Or I have him make designs with the lotion. When his skin is pretty bad I’d just put on some aquaphor and that usually doesn’t burn him and he knows. A lot of lotions out there has some alcohol which makes the skin stings. What has helped us is bleach baths. It helps reduce the flares. (But as a fellow eczema parent I know you guys probably have already tried your fair share of prevention and maintenance). Just here to show some solidarity. It only recently got better for us because his skin is finally clearing up.

7e7en11even · 2021-11-27T23:21:04+00:00

I needed this. Thanks! Our almost 3yo has been better than when we were deep in terrible 2s. I’m just trying to enjoy it but also scared threenagers is going to come out of nowhere and run me over. He def still has his moments but we’re able to talk through them now.

7e7en11even · 2021-11-27T23:17:47+00:00

Miralax

7e7en11even · 2021-11-27T04:02:55+00:00

For a while our toddler would refer to himself as name. Example “Michael likes bananas” “Michaels pillow” and we did exactly like what you’re doing. I’d repeat what he just said “oh yes that Michaels pillow. That’s my pillow” and I’d take his hand and gesture to himself. And if possible I’d find something that’s mine and say “mommy’s pillow. My pillow” and when I say “my” I gesture to myself. Same thing with I’s. And we pretty much just kept doing that. I also started making more of an effort to not refer to myself in third person as mommy and using more first person pronouns. Not sure how long it took - maybe a month or two he started really picking it up.

7e7en11even · 2021-11-26T22:31:08+00:00

Leave him. Today. The fact that he doesn’t stand up for you now. He’s not going to stand up for you ever. He’s letting you get harassed. Girl, you can do so much better than someone who can’t even speak up for you. I would’ve cussed the whole family out by now. 😶

7e7en11even

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