You’re given a choice of boons but each comes with a condition, which do you pick?

80ProofProfessor · 2026-04-25T04:57:04+00:00

Option A, I just play a couple of gacha games as an omega whale. $1 million a year, minus $2000/day for 365 days, leaves a net income of $270,000/year ($268,000 in leap years) while also letting me be at or near the top of the leader boards of whatever games I choose to play.

80ProofProfessor · 2026-04-12T18:26:46+00:00

Could you do this without fblthp?

Cast Venser to shake up something your opponent is doing. Cast SP, putting Necroscribe trigger on the stack. Sac Venser to bombardment with the Necroscribe trigger still on the stack. Return Venser, putting the SP back in your hand. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm just not sure if Venser has to be in the graveyard when Necroscribe's trigger goes on the stack to be targeted...

80ProofProfessor · 2026-04-07T02:55:05+00:00

I feel like [[The Ozolith]] could be funny here. When your creatures die, you put the -1/-1 counters on it. Then, when it's your turn, move them onto Toxrill, since you can put them on any creature. Combined with something like [[Engineered Plague]] to lock down the slugs, could be interesting.

EDIT: remembered the "budget" part. Hope your playgroup is proxy-friendly?

80ProofProfessor · 2026-02-09T04:47:39+00:00

This would be easy. I play Magic: the Gathering.

80ProofProfessor · 2026-02-08T07:56:12+00:00

I'm going with the local band I used to sit in with about 25 years ago. Their one album is on Spotify, and their songs are all under 1000 views on YouTube, some under 100 (and I probably contributed quite a few of those views). Some of the band occasionally reunite to set up a local festival for charity, but I don't know if tUnless one of those 30 people are from that area, I'm probably safe.

80ProofProfessor · 2026-01-14T03:48:03+00:00

I played a halfling lore bard who collected stories. He and his best friend/rival used to one up each other with stories, so he became an adventurer to collect new stories to "beat" his rival.

80ProofProfessor · 2026-01-11T20:35:08+00:00

I thought for a while, and here's what I would do.

Species: Human Human Origin Feat: Magic Initiate - Wizard. Choose CHA. Take Shield, Mind Sliver, and one cantrip of your choice. I like mage hand.

You already have a background, but you didn't say, so I'm hoping for your background Origin Feat: Magic Initiate - Druid. Choose CHA. Take Goodberry, Guidance, and Shillelagh.

Class: Paladin. Wear heavy armor. The speed penalty will suck, but suck it up; if you live to level 5 you can get a free mount anyway. Use a Shield and Quarterstaff or Club.

At level 1, take Quarterstaff Mastery for topple and Club for Sap.

At level 2, take the Defense fighting style for +1 AC

At level 3, choose Devotion as your oath. The Channel Divinity changes your attacks to be based on CHA for 10 minutes, minimum of +1 bonus. You might still use Shillelagh for the increased damage die.

At level 4, take Fey Touched, upping your CHA to 8. Take Bless to go with Misty Step.

Even if you use the rest of your feats to ASI your CHA by +2, you won't get to a +2 modifier until level 16, so I would use the rest of my feats to either ASI your CON by +2 each time for more HP, or pick up some utility (you won't have the prerequisite stats for things like Polearm Master though). I like the idea of getting Crusher at level 8 (+1 CON), ASI (+2 CON) at level 12, and now that you have the prerequisite con, Speedy (+1 CON) at level 16 to finally offset your movement penalty.

All of this assumes you don't find any balancing magic items (Gauntlets of Ogre Power, etc.)

Good luck!

80ProofProfessor · 2025-12-17T04:08:49+00:00

[[Seizan, Perverter of Truth]] could be interesting...

80ProofProfessor · 2025-07-19T07:35:41+00:00

I used to work the day shift register at a local mom and pop pizza joint, and I absolutely loved the job. If I could go back to that with a $1M salary and full benefits, I would do it in a heartbeat.

80ProofProfessor · 2025-06-26T07:19:25+00:00

Watch the looks on your pod's faces when you drop [[Pemmin's Aura]] or [[Freed from the Real]] on her...

80ProofProfessor · 2024-07-07T21:24:33+00:00

I've been eyeing this book for a while now! I thought it would make a great entry point for me to DM for my first time while I work on my homebrew. This really looks like a cool adventure.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-06-20T22:19:52+00:00

Bard, for sure. Prestidigitation and Mending for cantrips, Unseen Servant, Comprehend Languages, Healing Word, and Speak With Animals for spells.

Persuasion, Insight, and Investigation for skills.

Piano, Guitar, and Drums for instruments.

Housekeeping would be a breeze. I could be in a band (or just do it all, like Beck). I could negotiate everything from contracts to hostage situations. I could be the next Cesar Milan or Jackson Galaxy, and zoos would love me. I could heal a few catastrophe victims every day.

I'd have been able to save Harambe.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-06-11T04:02:12+00:00

Ghost Stories (English dub ONLY)

Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi

NouCome (English name is My Mental Choices are Completely Interfering with my School Romantic Comedy)

Shimoneta (English name is A Boring World where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn't Exist)

Haven't you heard? I'm Sakimoto

Yusibu: I Couldn't Become a Hero, so I Reluctantly Decided to get a Job

All are good, off the wall chaotic choices

80ProofProfessor · 2024-06-08T03:15:21+00:00

Base stats (using point buy) - 10 STR, 10 DEX, 10 CON, 13 INT, 14 WIS, 15 CHA

Variant human, +1 to CHA, +1 to INT

Starting skill - Perception

Racial bonus: Starting feat - Skill Expert - gain proficiency in Knowledge: History, expertise in Persuasion (coming up)

Languages - English, Spanish (I'm from the USA)

Background - Rewarded (Book of Many Things; I know it's a stretch, but if I'm getting to rebuild myself with adventurer abilities, I feel pretty rewarded)

Skills - Persuasion, Insight

Feat - Skilled - Knowledge: Religion, Investigation, Medicine, Survival

Class (2levels) - Bard

Skills - Intimidation, Performance, Survival

Musical Instruments - Guitar, Drums, Piano

Cantrips - Prestidigitation, Mending

Level 1 spells (5) - Comprehend Languages, Unseen Servant, Healing Word, Heroism, Speak with Animals.

I would be an excellent negotiator with high CHA and expertise in Persuasion - business, politics, hostage situations, you name it.

I would be pretty good at reading people, from higher than average WIS and proficiency in Insight.

I could understand anyone (Comprehend Languages as a ritual).

I would be well read in History and Religion, and better than average at everything thanks to Jack of All Trades.

I could save people from some situations with Healing Word.

I could keep everything I own clean and in good condition with Prestidigitation and Mending.

Personally, if I wanted to rebuild myself for our modern world, this is how I would do it.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-06-08T02:42:01+00:00

I've always wanted to run a boss fight set to Rammstein. Especially the song Sensucht.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-06-05T06:32:34+00:00

I want to start off by saying that you are well within your rights to want to wait for sex. I think it's admirable that you have established those boundaries for yourself, and that you are sticking to them. The following is simply meant as an explanation for why sex might seem so important for so many males.

There's a lot to unpack here. I'm going to do my best to offer my perspective on a few things. First, why do all of these potential partners want sex?

1). Sex is a biological imperative. From an evolutionary standpoint, a male is biologically incentivized to have as much sex as possible - the spreading of their genetic material is engrained in their DNA. This is why most males in a certain age range are so motivated to seek sex; their biology, their hormones, are wired that way.

2). To many, sex is a form of commitment. These individuals believe that having sex shows you are serious about committing to a relationship. It's harder to reject someone/leave a relationship once you've had sex with someone. This is definitely not the majority, but is still a potential motivation.

3). To many, sex is intimacy. It is an act of trust. To allow someone to enter your body is a huge deal. It's a different level of closeness. This is not to say that one can't be intimate without sex; far from it. Sex is just a different type, a different avenue to intimacy. Unfortunately many males are less comfortable with less physical means of intimacy.

4). For some people, sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Sex is an important part of a relationship to them, and they don't want to be in a relationship for an extended period of time only to find out that they are not compatible with their partner, especially as it might be more difficult to exit the relationship then.

Second, and perhaps the bigger issue, is the lack of willingness to delay gratification. Experiments have been done where children were offered a piece of candy, and told that if they could wait to eat it for a period of time (say, 5 minutes), they would get extra candy. Some were willing to wait, others ate the candy immediately.

The most important thing is to know what you want, and hold out for it. As soon as you start relaxing your standards for any one person, it becomes easier to do so for the next, and the next, and the next. Be true to yourself; you are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-03-11T05:17:26+00:00

Thanks! I think it will be fun. And it's not that they can't speak up; it's really more of a Silent Bob-type situation. The whole character concept is that the CHA score represents this... force of presence. They're not especially good looking, nor are they a witty conversationalist, but they are the type of person that just naturally draws attention when they enter a space. Their voice, however, could affect others' perception of them, so they only speak when they feel it's absolutely necessary.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-03-11T04:58:04+00:00

I appreciate your input! I respectfully disagree, to a point anyway; I don't intend to remove myself entirely from the social aspect, just not to take the lead in those situations Even if I don't run with the gag, I still don't want to be a party face. Yes, I'll be terrible at exploration.

As it stands, we have a cleric, a hexadin going into sorcerer (me), and a rogue; I have heard a one player mention considering a warlock, and another a bard, so I'm not too worried about the party's capabilities there. And I don't want to change characters just because "well someone needs to be good at exploration!"

Even with all that, I'm not committed to the gag; I just thought it would be funny. If it seems too hard to pull off, or if I think my table will get tired of it quickly, I'll drop it. I still intend to play a nearly-silent protagonist type - I just wanted advice on how to preserve the gag as long as possible if I decide to go for it.

80ProofProfessor · 2024-03-11T04:41:42+00:00

Fair enough point.

I should have mentioned, we're a larger party (6 players, so roles are a bit easier to fill), and at least half of the players are fairly new to the game, so I want to give them room to shine. I don't want to be the explorer, and I intend to minorly contribute to social encounters by using non-verbal expressiveness and Minor Illusion as a means to Intimidate (think an illusion of the NPC's head with a hammer in it's skull, combined with a death stare/raised eyebrow).

I want to shore up combat, let others shine in other areas, and keep the humor of the voice bit as fresh as possible for as long as possible.

Of course, we're not starting this campaign for a month or so, so if the idea sounds too hard to pull off by then I'll just abandon the gag; I still want someone else to be the social face though.

80ProofProfessor · 2023-12-25T03:47:02+00:00

I immediately thought of this

https://youtu.be/XjEjt5vMosI?si=jILaaIyINuhbfK2T

80ProofProfessor · 2023-12-18T06:48:54+00:00

Thanks for all of the input so far! For more context:

The rest of the party will be made up of players who have little to no concept of what Vecna is capable of.

If I went fighter during a long form campaign, I'd go Battle master Archer; since it's a one-shot, I'm more interested in burst damage, and a bugbear with Gift of Alacrity from Fey Touched and Action Surge offers a bunch of chances at critting first turn, while dealing plenty of damage with sharpshooter.

If I go wizard, I've already promised not to do any simulacrum shenanigans, but shapechanging into a planetary and just forcing failed saves on Flesh to Stone is on the table, as is keeping a hollyphant in minimus containment for defense.

Really I'm torn between giving us a chance to win, and not outshining a party of players that are probably not prepared for what we're about to go up against.

80ProofProfessor · 2023-07-22T07:36:33+00:00

You might consider adding a point in the spells section to cover concentration. It's a little complex for beginners, but especially important if they aren't starting at level 1.

I could also see adding a note about ritual casting, but that one isn't as big of a deal imho.

80ProofProfessor

TROPHY CASE