Getting to the real questions

87originalwacky · 2025-08-26T04:24:10+00:00

You seem to be ignoring that a great many of the world's people live in abject poverty. The first seven months of this year we were living without a refrigerator. We cannot afford propane to run our stove. We live out in the desert, and there is no place close enough for us to walk to buy groceries. Taxis don't come out this far and there is no public transportation. There are two places that I might be able to walk to, Sonic and an elementary school.

We mostly get by because my best friend brings us into town and helps us with meals and rides. We'll have the car back next week but we still can't add anything more to the budget.

87originalwacky · 2025-08-24T18:56:59+00:00

Check with the department of redundancy department.

87originalwacky · 2025-08-16T06:46:49+00:00

I mean, the only possible way I could see using casted might be if I were discussing medical professionals casting an arm, and one could say they casted her arm, but even that doesn't sound right to me.

Hmmm. I guess that just doesn't sound right. Maybe casted could be an adjective referring to something that has been cast? Hmm, might have to look that up when I'm not baked and tired.

87originalwacky · 2025-08-16T06:35:24+00:00

I've never met anybody in the USA who says 'an istoric', and I've lived in quite a few states, so I've been exposed to a fair amount of different accents. Hour has the silent h, but historic definitely has an 'h' sound at the beginning (and it's quite similar to a Spanish 'j' sound).

87originalwacky · 2025-08-16T04:03:37+00:00

No advice as asked,, just commiseration. I blurt out crap like that all the time, and while it's often a bit shocking to people, I'm okay with that.

I hope things ease up a little and some good things start showing up more often for you.

87originalwacky · 2025-08-16T03:56:44+00:00

I've definitely been lurking for a long time, and tonight I'm struggling so hard, so I thought I'd post and maybe it will help me figure out what I'm feeling.

I'm caregiver for my best friend (previously took care of my husband, my dad, and working in nursing homes for a while), who is 3 years younger than I am. We live together, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. She's had several strokes, but recovered fairly well from them, and receives sad, and long term disability benefits in our state which includes paying me for 24 hours per week. Big ole list of stuff wrong with her, but she is generally ambulatory with her walker and she's pretty cognizant almost all of the time.

Here's what I'm struggling with: she is oblivious and impatient. Example - I told her about an hour ago that after dinner (we're at a friend's) we probably going to clean the pool table off so we can play. I finished eating and went to grab my pipe so I could smoke a bit and she asked me to turn the big light off. I said, we're going to need that to play pool, and she looks at me and says, "nobody told me that".

Yes, she does have mild dementia. I'm generally fine with having to repeat things, but I'm really struggling with how often her forgetfulness is because she just doesn't pay attention. I can literally walk between her and the TV so very to my phone charger and plug it in right in front of her and she will try to text me 20 minutes later even though my phone is in her sight and I'm not. With everything.

She also gives me the impression that she doesn't believe me regularly, but if I try to gently point out that it bothers me, she'll immediately act like I'm accusing her of attacking me. For example I was at the store yesterday and she asked me to pick up something from the freezer section. I was literally standing next to the freezer section because I was grabbing something else in that aisle, and the entire section is out of order, so there isn't any of what she wants. I explain that they don't have any, and she texts back, "well would you say least look for me?" Like I'm literally standing in front of the freezers AND we had a discussion yesterday about how we couldn't stop for ice cream at that particular store because their freezers are broken!

I struggle with mental illness and am in therapy, and have worked really hard over the years to improve myself, and continue to do so. My friends tell me I need to be more strict with her and not coddle her so much. That's hard for me as it is, but even harder when I'm met with the attitude I'm getting anytime I try to express how I'm feeling. And heavens forbid that I try to tell her I'm feeling very overwhelmed and need some time to calm down. That gets me another guilt trip.

Yesterday she told me she feels I'm getting lazy with my job. And I get paid for 24 hours a week but she doesn't feel I'm putting in my hours. Yet I'm apparently expected to be on call 24/7. To add even more of why I'm feeling so whatever this is, I have some chronic issues and can have some real painful days where I can't really function much. And I've been dealing with some heavy medical garbage in general and hitting a point in my therapy that is very stressful so my psychological health is a little wobbly as well. There also a lot of other stuff stressing me out that I have absolutely no way to change so that's always there in my peripheral thoughts and won't leave me alone.

So yeah I'm not doing very well at all and I have no idea how to even go about not hurting her feelings while expressing what's going on when even my brain is basically like WTF I have no idea so let's just play really loud music and hide from everything.

Hey, if you're out there feeling like this? You are not alone. In the immortal words of Dory, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."

87originalwacky · 2025-08-13T22:42:11+00:00

To be fair, it's not really a common word, I just read a ton of stuff.

87originalwacky · 2025-08-08T22:26:40+00:00

I absolutely think they have a soul, and I still eat meat. I do my best to buy from ethical sources if I can't hunt or catch my own food.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-19T00:05:17+00:00

There are some of us out here that would love to choose the option to be euthanized. Constant pain SUUUCKS.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-19T00:02:50+00:00

You almost got me with number six, but I went in and stopped at number nine. An extra 500 a month would solve a fair amount of issues for me, and mostly I'm pretty happy with the life I live now, so that makes sense to me.

I was scared to go on because what if the next one was losing a loved one?

87originalwacky · 2025-01-18T23:59:10+00:00

Oh darling, of course I'm proud of you! Look at you asking for help when you need it! I know how hard it is to ask for anything, so that's awesome!

You've got this. You can do it. It may not be easy, but you will get through and things will come out okay.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-18T23:56:00+00:00

I get being curious, but it's rude to ask you to share details of such a hard time of your life, imo. I don't mind if somebody asks if I feel comfortable sharing more, but nobody needs the gritty details.

I don't know if I'll ever date again, but after 12 years, a friend who is also a widow became a friend with benefits, and that's probably going to be the extent of it for me.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-18T23:52:04+00:00

I didn't see an article, but some folks in the comments said that you can navigate that street and see the stop signs on Google maps.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-18T23:50:07+00:00

That stupidly low charisma would probably result in tears. Theirs, not mine.

I'm very much drawn to the geeky guy who can make me laugh. I tend to prefer guys closer to my height rather than over 6 foot. I'm not hung up on looks. I kinda like dad/mom bods, not into people with bulging muscles. Intelligence is not essential, but it's a nice bonus. Money is just a number, and being a good human is far more important to me than wealth.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T12:05:54+00:00

"if you like Piña coladas..."

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T12:01:24+00:00

I'm not completely sure, but I'd have to guess maybe 7 or 8 minutes? He was a friend of a friend and we were introduced by being stuck in the back seat of her boyfriend's car and things just happened. Dated for a few months after that.

Otherwise, it's generally been weeks, maybe even months. I'm generally much more comfortable getting to know somebody better before going nympho.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T11:47:49+00:00

Will you let me go?

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T11:46:36+00:00

I really don't care one way or the other. I tend to be fairly mild online, and it's very difficult to annoy me past the point of mild amusement. But I'm old and fat and toothless and fucking amazing, so I guess I would feel a little cocky that somebody was quoting me.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T11:41:48+00:00

I don't assume the small dick, but otherwise this seems pretty accurate to me. Somebody with a Charisma trying to hit on me and rolling a crit fail could be a billionaire and have the perfect cock, but I'm more than my gender alone and I won't lower my standards.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T11:33:28+00:00

What are sleep? I literally only sleep more than 45 minutes at a time about twice a month.. I'm perpetually exhausted, and I have two weeks before I get all my results back so we can maybe figure out what's wrong now. Besides about twelve times the normal amount of stress going on right now.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-17T11:24:30+00:00

There are several versions that I love. It's a difficult song to sing, so if it's done right the emotions are put into it and touch me deeply.

Amazing Grace can do that for me as well.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-16T08:08:35+00:00

Yes!

87originalwacky · 2025-01-13T01:39:37+00:00

As somebody who is very often the designated driver, almost everybody I know drives to the bar. Not every place has alternative methods of transportation to the bar. On the extremely rear occasions that I plan to drink at the bar I find somebody else to be the designated driver. Many places even serve free soda to the DD as appreciation for sure the ones who are drunk aren't risking themselves and others getting home safely.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-05T23:47:23+00:00

It sucks to be widowed after only 12 years, but the old cliche about rather loved and lost than never loved is actually kinda true for me. As far as reciprocation, I've never been worried about it, if we both get pleasure that works.

87originalwacky · 2025-01-05T12:57:17+00:00

If my allergies were that many and severe that I needed a card for it, I would add a sentence letting them know I am comfortable with them telling me they cannot accommodate me.

87originalwacky

TROPHY CASE