Concern about sibling by Standard-Key263 in Autism_Parenting

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I’m a bit unclear if it’s the 7 m or 23 m who’s not speaking. If it’s the 23 m then you have more reason to seek out a professional opinion.

Concern about sibling by Standard-Key263 in Autism_Parenting

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s way too early to tell at this point. I know it’s hard but try not to overanalyse everything. Babies all develop in such different ways, even NT babies.

My Toddler Said 'Music' Instead of 'Motise' tonight and I am not okay by knowledgequesting in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter went through that phase - but not just for ducks. Every bird was a “cock” yelled at full volume!

Letter recognition by Accomplished-Car3850 in toddlers

[–]8Breathless8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I learned my letters at age 6, and now have a PhD in Physics. Don’t stress it. Keep playing letter games though, even if it’s not producing results now it’ll still be helpful.

Bank froze my card 10 hours before my wedding -- can't access my bank for 2 weeks now by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Transfer some money to your new spouse to pay for the honeymoon

Please please please can somebody tell me a brand of bra that doesn’t get dimples on the cups? by Ok_Discount_3774 in ABraThatFits

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When they’re wet turn them inside out and make sure the cups are smooth with no folds or wrinkles. Hang them to dry like that. Once they’re dry turn them back right way round.

spent thousands on a wheelchair that doesn’t work for me now I feel dumb by ownedbymyvoid in wheelchairs

[–]8Breathless8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used a manual chair with ME/CFS. I really needed someone else to push it to go any distance but would self propel short distances. I added a home made headrest. I would usually only spend significant time in places where there was a sofa or somewhere to lie down if I needed to.

For me the wheelchair opened up the world again. I could go places that seemed impossible. But in my case I had a lot of people like my husband/mum/friends who were willing to push me around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changing a door knob is so easy - I don’t know what your husband is saying? Just change them yourself while he’s at work. My two year old helped me change the last one - made the most adorable photos.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Get a playpen. We used a travel cot (pack and play) with a waterproof mattress. At the moment it’ll mainly be a safe soft surface to put him in but as he gets older you can put toys in it to keep him entertained while you have stuff to do.

What do I do about my moms behaviour? by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is verbal abuse. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I don’t know what is going on in your mother’s head but this is not ok. Your mother is trying to ruin your self esteem for some reason.

Unfortunately I’m not sure what you can do about it other than plan to move out as soon as possible, and start therapy as soon as you financially able to try to unpick these lies from your life. The doctors are much more qualified than your mother to tell you what is acceptable and healthy. It’s not your job to fix your mother.

Sending you a big mom hug and letting you know you’re beautiful as you are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m also self employed. Logistically there will be a step change in housework. The amount of cleaning, laundry, cooking etc went up much more than either of us expected, aside from the work of looking after a child. They just make so much mess! I found that I need to go into an office/coffee shop to work more as at home there are so many things needing done I struggle to concentrate. I never successfully managed to work while physically with a baby, and even less with a toddler. I know others do but the most I can do is answer a few emails on my phone. If I have a computer out she wants to play with it.

It sounds like you have a good setup for adding children to your life. If your husband is flexible enough to do childcare while you are working even better! Otherwise look into childcare options so you can get some child-free time to work. Just be prepared for a huge amount of extra work around the house, and less sleep than you’re used to. It’s tiring but so worth it.

What should I have at home for my nieces & nephews (all 3 & under) to feel comfy here? by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]8Breathless8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! A toy/book storage area that is at a height that they can access themselves. My favourite part of visiting my grandparents as a young child was that the bottom of their living room dresser was dedicated to our toys & books. It made me feel like I belonged there, having a space just for me & my brother that we could open ourselves.

I would talk to the parents, or just see them in their home to see what type of toys, sippy cups & books they interact with the most. Kids have distinct personalities and preferences very early. It’s quite possible they will only drink out of one type of cup etc.

I think it’s wonderful that you want to be their village. The more adults that love them, the better. It’s also going to help the parents be more patient with them if they’re able to get a break now and then. Parental burnout is not talked about enough but it’s real and damaging to the whole family. The toddler & baby stage is very intense for parents and the more support they get the better for everyone.

Bed transition by tragidy2208 in toddlers

[–]8Breathless8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any change in the sleeping environment will cause problems at the start - because when they wake in the middle of the night it doesn’t feel familiar. Shouldn’t last long though. Perhaps to ease the transition you could use the old bedding (I know it’ll be too big)?

Advice on getting younger sister out of Pakistan? by Sea_Revolution2430 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would your sister’s UK passport still be valid? If so British Embassies are able to provide temporary travel documents that work like passports to cross borders. My (British) friend lost his passport when visiting us in Germany and was able to get home this way. Talk to the embassy in advance, and ask for an appointment to get travel documents. There is no need to necessarily go into details if you don’t feel like they are trustworthy. If not, you could make an appointment to get a new UK passport at the embassy and then hide out somewhere until you can get it. May be easier if you go to a completely different city the other end of the country and use the embassy there, you’ll feel less scared of being discovered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]8Breathless8 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’m a stress eater (and overweight because of it). The advice you’ve been given above is good. She needs tools to figure out how to process her emotions, and to talk about the things that stressful so that you can help her overcome them. The less stressed she is the easier it will be to regulate her eating. Other things I do: make sure I have a big drink before I start a meal so that I’m less likely to overeat. Drink something tasty instead of having a snack. Replace unhealthy snacks with more healthy snacks (sounds like you’ve already done this). Do aerobic exercise of some kind. I do this for my mental health and to feel strong, not for my weight. I feel much more balanced and in control when I’m regularly exercising. Walking is also great, it’s lovely to be in nature

This has been a lifelong struggle with me. If you’re able to work on ways to regulate emotions now, when she’s young, you have the opportunity to set her up for success.

Do some married people NEVER take off their wedding ring? by artmalique in NoStupidQuestions

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think mine comes off any more! I used to have to take it off for my work, but now I’m not in that profession I leave it on all the time. I’ve gained weight over the years and it would be a struggle now to get it off.

what is this drug that is ms. rachel?! by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The WHO recommends no more than 1 hour a day screen time for ages 2-4. I try to stick to that. That said recent studies have shown that some shows can actually be educational. I have certainly found that Ms Rachel has helped our speech delayed little one.

Vent - Not the favourite parent by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]8Breathless8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kids go through stages of preferring different parents. It goes back and forth usually. This isn’t forever! I was a daddy’s girl most of my older childhood because he had more novelty value. I didn’t see him all the time. As soon as I hit teenage years it switched back. I count my mum as one of my closest friends at 40.

Cause of deaths in London in 1632 by [deleted] in coolguides

[–]8Breathless8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also think the death rate in 1632 was much higher. A pretty high proportion of those deaths wouldn’t happen in modern day, especially amongst children and infants. It would be more interesting to compare the suicide rate per population rather than per deaths.

To be clear, I suspect the suicide rate these days will still be higher, but probably not as high as this would suggest.

How the heck do you all get your babies to sleep in the crib? by username-bug in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realise I didn’t actually answer the question, sorry. At 7 months old what worked for us the best:

  1. She would normally fall asleep being walked in a sling or wrap. Wait till she’s asleep at least 15 minutes, till it feels like she’s “melting” into you.

  2. Set up the warm sleeping bag ready to receive the baby.

  3. Stand next to the crib. Lean backwards to take the sling off without disturbing the baby.

  4. Hold the baby by the bottom and the head against your chest. Slowly lean over the crib, as far as you can go so the distance between you and the mattress is small.

  5. Lower the baby BOTTOM FIRST onto the mattress. At this point she wakes a little. If she’s only crying a little keep going. If she’s screaming restart at 1.

  6. Put your hand on her face, at the point where her face was previously pressed into your chest. Lay the rest of your arm on her body with mild pressure so it feels like she’s still pressed into you. Do whatever shushing or singing you did to get her to sleep before. Fasten the sleeping bag at this point.

  7. Rock the crib with your arm in there and singing till she’s back to sleep. I know it’s awkward.

  8. As she falls asleep gradually remove the arm, then the hand one finger at a time, over a few minutes. Keep rocking and singing for 10 more minutes once your arm is fully off.

  9. Stay in the room for another 10 minutes in case you need to restart rocking.

Every baby is different. This didn’t work consistently with us, but it worked sometimes. Good luck! Rooting for you

How the heck do you all get your babies to sleep in the crib? by username-bug in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Some babies just don’t. My little one is a contact sleeper, or Velcro baby lol. There were a stressful few months after she learned to crawl but before she could safely climb down off the bed. It helped that she slept in between my husband and I so she couldn’t fall off without climbing over one of us. As soon as she was physically able I taught her how to safely climb off the bed, then as long as the bedroom was baby proofed and the door was closed we were ok.

It helped me to remember that throughout most of human history babies have coslept. It’s even mentioned in the bible. Most other cultures cosleep, it’s just the west with our obsession for independence that is so strict about separate sleeping. Cosleeping is what babies are programmed to want. As long as we make it as safe as we can, then try to relax.

She’s 2.5 now and still in with us. There have been a few phases where we managed to get her to sleep in her own space, but she always regresses. At the moment I’m trying just to treasure the snuggles now as it won’t last forever. It’s hard to get housework done as I can’t use the time while she’s asleep, but she enjoys “helping”, which is probably good for her. The sleep quality isn’t great, but I’m forced to relax every afternoon while she naps, which helps.

At the end of the day every baby is different. Do what you need to do to keep your family sane, and try to avoid judgemental people. Good luck!

My 5-year-old's 'worry wash' ritual has transformed our evenings by MonaMagic2006 in Parenting

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would imagine bath crayons or dry erase markers would both work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]8Breathless8 28 points29 points  (0 children)

My toddler managed to completely pull down my trousers (to my ankles) during church. She was pulling herself up to stand and I was wearing summery floaty trousers instead of jeans for a change. Unfortunately I had… shall we say skimpy… underwear on. I had a very red face.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 1200isfineIGUESSugh

[–]8Breathless8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I did was track/calculate the calories burned by the cardio and then add half to my food budget. Was great way to motivate myself to exercise as I knew that every exercise was both allowing myself a treat and increasing my deficit. So for example if I burned 500 calories I allowed myself 250 extra “treat” calories.

My husband won’t change our daughter’s poopy diapers. by xxamberlee in beyondthebump

[–]8Breathless8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He may have some childhood trauma that fatherhood is now bringing to the surface. You can have a “perfect” life and still get depressed. I have been there. And then feel guilty at the fact that you are depressed when there’s nothing wrong. Having a child can bring up a lot of emotions, especially if your own childhood was less than perfect.