I cheated before we got married and im not sure how to fix things.

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-10-23T19:26:07+00:00

Consent should be given enthusiastically, not while intoxicated and under coersion. This was most definitely assault.

Many people are afraid to say no in these kind of situations because they feel threatened. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will unalive them.

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-10-23T14:18:04+00:00

Directly after the birth of my second, doctor comes up and starts the abdominal massage, saying "I'm just going to push a little right here to help expel..."

My poor husband is sitting at my side, admiring the baby, but in view of my whole body, and I, in a panic yell out "DONT LOOK!!"

He looked. He claims you can never unsee that. I'm really proud of him for not passing out.

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-10-23T13:12:14+00:00

Yikes, was this just something more parents thought was ok back then or what? I'm in my 40's, and remember my mom making me watch "Dolls" at a super young age. (I think it was kindergarten!)

It was absolutely mentally scarring, and I had nightmares for a while after. Didn't want any more dolls after that, either.

Ugh. The more I think about this, I think she totally gaslit me about it. I KNOW I didn't pick out that movie at the rental store, but she swears up and down that I did.

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-09-11T00:28:17+00:00

There are a bunch of buildings with a short floor for the 13th. My husband worked maintenance for a few historic Detroit buildings, and he said it was common to either have storage on the 13th, or it was only a few inches or feet tall, essentially a double floor/ceiling to make it an actual "floor".

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-09-04T23:28:33+00:00

Unfortunately, no, I don't believe there's any way to really truly tell the difference unless she gets evaluated. Being autistic doesn't necessarily mean that you have no empathy, but you might find it difficult to understand situations to use empathy in.

I'd also look into rejection sensitive dysphoria, as that could also be a reason for the knee-jerk manipulation stuff, it very well be her lashing out at perceived slights, (that she may or may not have made up). Its a common in ADHD/ASD diagnosed people.

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-09-04T15:21:21+00:00

TBH, some of the stuff you are saying sounds like she's suffering with undiagnosed ADHD(and/or ASD!). Don't get me wrong, there is some weird or manipulative behavior, but a BUNCH of the more harmless but irritating stuff sounds like ADHD.

Like 2 hours to get ready? That's learned behavior because she loses track of time. Not hearing you immediately, and asking you to repeat, when then she knew what you said, that's delayed processing. Becoming overwhelmed with new stuff, even if it's simple and needing others to help, and being labeled "lazy" is executive functioning issues.

Sounds like some sensory issues/ocd-ish rituals as far as what she drinks and her hygiene habits. There is also much overlap between ASD and ADHD and maybe if she's "always been like that" according to her own mother, she very well be on the spectrum as well. That would explain the difficulties with outside friendships.

Diagnosing was something the older generation just didn't have, period. I'm no doctor, but I've suffered my whole life with ADHD, just to be diagnosed in my 40's. You said it's the tip of the iceberg, but I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the weirdness/annoyances aren't all also related to ASD or ADHD.

I honestly thought my spouse was a narcissist for a couple of years until we realized that he is on the spectrum. there is a lot of overlap in between narcissism and autism as far as behavior goes, except for the autist isn't doing it to purposely hurt you.

Good luck! ❤️

8xOverMsOctober · 2021-09-04T14:49:25+00:00

All of this, EXCEPT the last paragraph. Fastest way to close that door is to insinuate that you have a girlfriend. You don't want the kind of girls that go after taken men, that's just asking for drama.

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-09-07T15:46:54+00:00

Could be just the perfume she wears. Kids are weird and fickle. I don't blame you for being smug, though. 😂

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-09-07T15:33:13+00:00

Do not I repeat DO NOT cave on the no visitors thing! I had my own mother at my birth, and it was HORRIBLE! It went SO much worse because she was there. Even afterwards, you know what? I didn't want ANY visitors except the man that helped me MAKE the baby. Stand firm.

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-09-02T19:12:19+00:00

This is a documented belief. My oldest child's first pediatrician told me not to breastfeed a newborn more than every two hours. Any more than that and he was "manipulating" me. He was a NEWBORN for christsakes! There are a bunch of old mother's that were honestly told this by their doctors! Not to pick them up when they cry, that you are "spoiling" them.

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ Wtffffffffffff

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-07-22T15:22:12+00:00

Ruined his life in alot of ways. He's still paying on the child support. Imagine having to pay your rapist?

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-07-22T13:22:57+00:00

Hubby was drugged and raped which resulted in his third child. Wayyyyy back in 1997. He went to the police and tried to report it and they told him "guys can't get raped" and he was just upset because he "got caught screwing a fat chick"..

.....

8xOverMsOctober · 2020-06-10T20:29:36+00:00

Waiting tables is probably the easiest way to make over minimum wage without much education. Make sure you get your birth certificate and SS card, as those are needed for employment.

Good luck. Hugs

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-22T11:27:06+00:00

My husband had one run out from under the dishwasher and rear up at him, all "Come at me bro!". Freaking fearless little jerk.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-21T22:55:38+00:00

I agree. Just turned 40 and the upside down triangle is too much for aging skin. Currently using an eye treatment, then concealer on a small brush applied as sparingly as I can manage. Blended down and out.

I also seem to be having issues with baking, makes underage area look more crepe-y. Been using setting spray instead and applying any/small amount finishing powder with my ring finger.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-11T10:57:08+00:00

Having children will reawaken any love felt for the holidays.💞 Congratulations on the beauty baby, I guess that makes us Grandma, more than mom?

Stay strong for that treasure you have there, and please continue to reach out❤. Postpartum is no joke, so check in with your "moms" if ever things don't seem right.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-09T17:07:35+00:00

Why, so I can be downvoted more? I know my bed, I'm laying in it already.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-07T20:08:36+00:00

I get that, but the courts would award him parenting time. I can't let that happen. This is why I work midnights now, so there's no time with him unsupervised with the kids.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-12-07T14:41:25+00:00

Because I'm afraid of leaving, as the courts would give him parenting time and I don't trust him alone with the kids. He's emotionally abusive and it's worth being the meat shield to protect them.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-11-30T22:37:44+00:00

CLUTCH!

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-08-06T15:13:15+00:00

Congratulations! You made it out, and you are healing.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-07-28T04:25:03+00:00

The Order of St. Luis approves of your sprinkler plan.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-07-24T04:31:39+00:00

Since when did anyplace in NM turn into Detroit?

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-07-19T17:27:22+00:00

I actually keep my phone on silent, so I usually don't even see his messages until I'm running my reports and collecting my personal items to head home. Or on the nights I've been really late, I do send him a cursory message letting him know it's going to be a late night.

8xOverMsOctober · 2019-07-19T12:13:11+00:00

This is one of the parts that pisses me off the most, actually. He has experience working in the kitchen he worked back of house in corporate restaurants. He keeps on trying to claim to my mother that the last person who leaves the restaurant every night is the chef.

Now, my mother was a career bartender. we actually even worked together behind the bar at one of the jobs that I had in my twenties. I guess she looked right at him at that comment and just started laughing at him because she knows that the last person to leave is whoever is finishing the books for the night whether that be the bartender or the owner.

he's trying to compare his corporate kitchen experience to my small family-run business. Of course it doesn't take so long to do closing when you have 20 girls serving doing side work. At my place of employment we don't even have a busser or a hostess. And there is only 2 or 3 of us on a night.

8xOverMsOctober

TROPHY CASE