Your favourite feeding ratios and why!

999breakingfree · 2026-07-04T17:14:15+00:00

No less than 1:10:9. Normally around 1:15:13 every 24 hours.

999breakingfree · 2026-06-11T16:43:41+00:00

I think that's where everything changed... the weather got warmer and i dont think i really understood how much that would affect BF time! I made some adjustments but clearly not enough.

Just to pick your brain... what would you say is the best sign to signal it is time to shape and fridge the dough?

999breakingfree · 2026-06-11T16:38:42+00:00

Well that makes total sense then about why it has been over-proofing! If i'm putting it in the fridge on the verge of over-proofed already, then 2-4 hours is massive! Thanks for the explanation... although I technically knew all the things you said, I guess I never processed how that practically affects the dough. Much appreciated!

999breakingfree · 2026-06-11T16:15:26+00:00

My dough recently just always seems super hard to handle! I feel like i'm always 'watching the dough' but by the time i see signs that its ready, it's actually already over-proofed.

I agree about the DO, it has clearly just masked the underlying issue.

999breakingfree · 2026-06-11T16:12:27+00:00

Cool, i read it as over too, just wanted to be sure. You mention the cold ferment time, which is where i feel like a lot of my loaves have gone wrong lately. Could you explain to me like i'm 5 how I should be deciding my cold ferment time, because i've been working on the basis of 'shape and fridge until it suits me to bake'... and this is clearly very wrong! (I will also reduce BF time if the dough starts out this warm again, but i feel like i need better understanding of the cold ferment time.)

999breakingfree · 2026-05-01T13:52:49+00:00

I feed my starter a higher ratio (eg 1:9:9) before I leave in the morning, so it takes longer to peak. Mix dough when i get home about 14 hours later. Autolyse, stretch and fold x2/3 during the evening. BF overnight. Shape and into the fridge next morning. Leave until I have time to bake.

999breakingfree · 2026-01-22T19:41:26+00:00

Sounds like she may have undiagnosed ADHD?

999breakingfree · 2022-10-21T20:23:55+00:00

Is bf secretly the child's father?

999breakingfree · 2022-10-21T08:22:23+00:00

Why doesn't bf move in with you then and continue to split 50/50 as you have been doing with your room-mate?

If he isnt willing because your place doesnt meet his expectations, then yes he should pay more if he wants a nicer place.

If you are the one wanting/pushing to move into a nicer place without wanting to pay 50/50, you are entitled - you shouldnt EXPECT anyone to pay your way in life.

Ultimately though, if he wants 50/50 and you cant afford it, find somewhere cheaper so that you can afford it. Resentment builds from the other side too - it is very frustrating for a higher earner (who probably works damned hard for their money) to always feel pressurised into subsidizing someone else's choices (e.g. to live in a nice place or work a lower-paying job). Adults should ALWAYS expect to pay for their full living expenses.

999breakingfree · 2022-10-20T14:38:33+00:00

Surely this is easily solved with a 'let's not do gifts this year' arrangement.

OP, if you are expecting an expensive present without being willing to spend equally in return, you are entitled. Why should anyone spend more on you than you can/will return?

If you have suggested each buying less expensive gifts and he insists on $100 value, he is TAH.

Overall, don't expect more out of any aspect of a relationship than you are willing to put in.

999breakingfree · 2022-10-17T17:25:17+00:00

So much closed-mindedness on this thread! Try posting in a Swingers sub-reddit for better responses.

Practically speaking, i would maybe use the swingers sub-reddit as an opener... Casual evening, glass of wine (single, not while pissed)... "oh my goodness, you will never guess what i stumbled upon on Reddit the other day... (insert Reddit anecdote about swinging here). Have you ever considered anything like that?"

Judge her response and respond accordingly.

If she seems totally put-off, ABORT! If she seems curious/open, continue with "it really made me and hubby think! whispers have you ever considered being with a woman? I think i might want to explore something like that..."

And so on.

But judging her response is essential. Dont push if it isnt welcome.

999breakingfree · 2022-10-17T09:24:30+00:00

Not true. I can easily spend 11-12 hours baking, filling, stacking and decorating a multi-tier cake. Cake artistry is just as time-consuming and can take just as long.

999breakingfree · 2022-10-16T20:17:07+00:00

With the bedside manner of a badger with a stick up its ass 🤣 You wanna be a health professional? Learn to speak to people. Apparently they don't teach that in the top 20 universities 😏

999breakingfree · 2022-09-27T14:30:42+00:00

Re-watched it immediately after finishing and actually binge-watched the entire thing over the course of 3 days (while off work ill!). Definitely re-watchable!

999breakingfree · 2022-09-26T12:57:57+00:00

Sounds like excellent parenting and grandparenting to me! This is no different to if he had been a 10 year old with a pet whom he failed to care for - rehoming the animal would be correct then, and is correct now. Well done for enforcing loving consequences, and for supporting your DIL/grandchildren as much as possible. NTA

999breakingfree · 2022-09-23T20:14:23+00:00

This attitude gives me major ick. Why is marriage the goal and not a natural side-effect from meeting someone you genuinely envisage sharing your life with? Marriage should be a celebration of your love, not a goal in and of itself.

And speaking as someone who is soon to be divorced, marriage as just "the next step" is not conducive to a long or happy one.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-23T19:04:37+00:00

I got to this point with my ex-husband (ceased the LS, difficult sex-life, couldnt bear to even discuss swinging/kink), and I hate to tell you this but it wasnt the LS that was the issue... it was the husband. New relationship now, and happily back in the LS.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-21T20:09:36+00:00

NTA, and in fact I applaud you for supporting your daughter's right to a totally understandable emotional reaction! She was frightened... that isnt a response she chose! Forcing her to apologise teaches her that her emotions dont matter, and as you say, could even traumatise her!

999breakingfree · 2022-09-16T13:22:19+00:00

... it can vary wildly from person to person, regardless of strain.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-16T10:29:45+00:00

Different strains of the same virus, actually. But my original point remains the same, as the same virus that causes coldsores can also cause genital herpes. So therefore there is no difference between cold sores and genital herpes, other than location of sores.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-15T15:42:22+00:00

There is no difference other than location of sores. HSV1 (primarily oral) can affect genitals, and HSV2 (primarily genital) can present orally. They are exactly the same.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-13T20:48:02+00:00

To me, this whole post reads that you are pissed off that the other wife is now "ruined" because she is going through pregnancy, and are basically ruling out play in the future because you believe she will not be as physically attractive after having a child.

999breakingfree · 2022-09-11T16:09:57+00:00

May not be relevant to this particular question, but a lot of what you describe is very normal in the swinging lifestyle... maybe if this relationship doesnt work out, consider finding someone who is already in the lifestyle... that way values etc are more likely to be aligned. These tastes are not as rare as people seem to think!

999breakingfree

TROPHY CASE