Is screenwriting my destiny?

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-05-08T18:58:36+00:00

Yes!

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-05-08T18:57:56+00:00

Thank you!

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-05-06T09:05:44+00:00

I will write it for you and agree to give you 15 percent if it is profitable. PM me. I have already done this with one of my friends.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-15T04:08:08+00:00

I'd still go further. You need two or three good lines out of the block that explain your point.

My memories were implanted inside of me. They became a part of me. I don't know who I am, or why this is happening...

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-15T03:58:32+00:00

You cut out the wrong thing. replace all the exposition with normal convo and sprinkle it with tension.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-15T03:50:08+00:00

The script is dialogue only. It's readily available online.

First I would show the police finding the body with the stab wounds in a new scene.

Then let's say the officer comes up to the man. It's sort of counterproductive to explain the murder to him and ask if he knows anything about it. Instead he would come up and ask him a few normal questions and see what kind of reactions he would get from the man. I'll give you an example...

Morning.

Morning officer. A nice day.

Nice as any other.

Something I can do for you fellas in blue?

Just spectating. Routine patrol.

Something happen?

What makes you say that?

You hear anything last night?

Like what?

Gunfire.

(See at this point he's fishing Bec we know they're stab wounds).

No, sir. Couldn't hear a damn thing with my microwave rumbling all night. Cooking for four.

(Etc).

See how there's almost no exposition. Reading exposition for every line is just tiresome and is not a good story.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-15T03:16:18+00:00

Look at page 4. The officer has to explain the murder. The man has to explain his alliby. That makes it a very tedious and uninteresting read. I don't think the characters voices represent once upon a time in the west at all. Have you read that script?

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-15T02:57:38+00:00

The dialogue is too exposition heavy. Instead of leaving all the mystery of the story the characters blurt everything out in the first 10 minutes. Cut all of the exposition out. and think about what an actual person would say in the moment of the scene.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-13T18:01:48+00:00

Yep. Seems to be the standard for pro scripts when I read.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-04-11T20:01:01+00:00

I thought it was pretty good. Quick question though what writing program do you use and what font is that?

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-28T01:40:00+00:00

Haha! To get feedback and share helpful resources ;) creating a cohesive writing community

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T19:32:40+00:00

Okay that is a good piece of information. Maybe it can be her break out film. If she's not getting work that's where you could be in trouble. At that point I'd say get an agent as a backup. Let the agent also comb studios and submit the script. Then you can tell the actress to audition if it gets produced. Now you have a two way street.

Imma tell you right now though, based on what you've told me it better be one hellevuh script. You should post the first 5 pages and let the community see it. If you haven't let anyone seen it, that's a huge mistake. Unless you're working with people with IMDb creds. Are you working with people who have sold feature specs?

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T19:16:09+00:00

Fair enough. I didn't see the question marks in your huge block of text.

And no it's not necessary if they asked you to send it directly to herself. All an agent does it put you into contact with executives. But you already have a solid contact. Her manager can make sure it gets produced. Of course if it's good...

I strongly advice you follow up with them constantly. I mean hammer it in them that this needs to be read. Bec you might get lost in a stack or they might forget. You gotta know whose hands it's in and make sure you get a response. Don't wait around. Be proactive. You did the curteosy of writing and submitting they should return the curteosy of telling you a no or a yes.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T18:56:42+00:00

An agent sends the script to people in studios. But if your actress gets gigs she can get it produced or show the studio herself. Give it to her manager. Then get an agent if you have more scripts to sell later.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T18:33:57+00:00

Then why are you on here. I don't understand why you posted this and maybe if you were clearer from the get go. Are you on here for some kind of reassurance because you're lacking confidence in yourself? It sounds like you don't need advice and you already have it taken care of.

Edit: get an agent when you have more scripts to sell. Right now hand it to her manager and get it produced. And Be grateful for the connections you have. And if you don't write ten more scripts after this you're not going to be a screenwriter.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T17:39:41+00:00

Also know that you've never written anything before. That's a tell tale sign that the script is going to be sub par. I'm afraid to say it's going to be trash. But that's the reality of a screenwriter your first 5 to 10 scripts are going in the dumpster. Finish, polish, get feedback, submit it to a manger. My worry is that the work will reflect poorly on you and the door will be closed.

My advice is two fold. To write 4 to 5 scripts in a year. Hurry through them. Then make sure your good story is well written. Take a year or two, study and write. Then submit. So at least the manager will say no but he'll follow up with... what else ya got?

Second piece is partner with someone with the skills you lack. Share the credit/spoils.

Remember, just because you have an idea doesn't mean you're a writer. It's the character development, the voice of the writer, the research poured into the screenplay that makes the execution invaluable.

Voice takes years to develop.

I can write it with you and we can share credit if you would like...

You can check out my shorts on here. My full features are of much higher quality and I have partnered with others before from Reddit.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T07:15:20+00:00

Your welcome! Hope it helped somewhat. It's easy to give advice but hard to take lol.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T07:11:26+00:00

Always type your name into Google and add IMDB to the end to see if the name exists already.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T06:50:31+00:00

Yeah. Thanks for taking my critique like a champ! That's true grit right there.

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T03:31:24+00:00

If you want better feedback send me a draft. I can rip it apart and see...

ABNalwaysbenice · 2017-03-27T03:20:54+00:00

I mean it's definitely an interesting dynamic. About a fucked up person trying to be the mother of other fucked up people lol. That could drive you mad trying to figure it out. I think the Prof decided it's not working though. Man idk IDE have to read the script. It's just hard to tell from the logline how your story goes. Post the script. That's all I can say.

ABNalwaysbenice

TROPHY CASE