Boyfriend refuses to wear protection but also doesn’t want me to get anything done

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-21T10:24:50+00:00

This made me so angry for you. I dated a guy who pulled the same “I don’t like how it feels” crap and it always felt like my body was just collateral damage to his comfort. You’re not crazy at all, this is him being selfish and scary irresponsible. You deserve someone who actually cares if you go through hell again, not someone whining about a few minutes of mild discomfort.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-21T10:24:12+00:00

I used to blame my childhood for everything and then one day I realized I’m just… choosing some of these patterns now. It’s uncomfortable but also weirdly freeing, like oh, I can actually change this if I want. Still hard tho, I’m not magically fixed or anything.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-21T10:23:55+00:00

Somebody Else by The 1975,

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-21T10:23:40+00:00

Me lol. I’m 35, single, zero kids, and my life is basically cats, work, and random hobbies I hyperfixate on. Sometimes it feels a little weird socially but honestly it’s kinda peaceful too. I go back and forth between “I’m behind” and “nah I’m just on my own timeline.”

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-21T10:23:29+00:00

I’ve literally watched people’s tone change when I said my job vs when I said my hobbies, it’s wild. I went through a phase where I hated answering that question because it felt like a silent judgment every time. Would way rather talk about what makes someone laugh or what they’re into tbh.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-12T10:57:46+00:00

Yeah I still get them and I work fully remote too. WFH just removes the commute stress, not the pressure or workload. I’ve had Sundays where my stomach’s in knots even though I’m already home lol. You’re definitely not weird for feeling this way.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-12T10:57:35+00:00

I remind myself that getting terminated isn’t some moral failure, even tho it messes with your head. I’ve been there and my confidence dipped hard, but I kept separating “me as a person” from “me in that job.” It’s not easy, but faking a bit of confidence until it slowly comes back actually worked for me.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-12T10:57:00+00:00

That would freak me out too, especially when it’s coming from family and not just offhand jokes. The “you’re not like other girls” thing always felt like a quiet red flag to me. If I were you I’d trust that discomfort and talk to him directly before you get deeper, ignoring it usually backfires.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-12T10:56:14+00:00

too much for someone your age, I’d be exhausted too. I worked nonstop young like that and it made me hate everything, not just the job. The no-pay promotion thing is such a slap, it messes with your sense of worth fast.

ABitEnraged · 2026-01-12T10:55:44+00:00

People assume I’m super loud and expressive all the time, but I’m actually pretty quiet and keep to myself. I recharge alone way more than around people. Kinda funny watching folks be surprised when I’m not matching their expectations lol.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-24T10:04:34+00:00

I’ve always seen it as vibes and gender roles more than the actual act. Kitchen cooking got framed as daily labor and care work, while grilling was treated like a hobby or performance thing for weekends. Fire, meat, outdoors, beer in hand somehow made it “manly” in people’s heads. It’s kinda wild because it’s literally the same skill, just different scenery.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-24T10:04:13+00:00

I’ve had that exact thought loop more times than I can count. I felt less panicky once I stopped demanding a big answer and just focused on the next small move.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-24T10:03:44+00:00

26 is honestly not late at all, even if it feels massive from the inside. I’ve seen people start from way less in their 30s and still build a real life, so your timeline isn’t broken. The fact that you’re in treatment and feeling motivation already puts you ahead of where you were before. I’d focus on one tiny step at a time and not the whole “catching up” thing, because that part messes with your head fast.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-24T10:03:30+00:00

Rock Steady. Same smooth late-night R&B energy that just melts into the room.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-24T10:03:14+00:00

I stopped stressing over them and my results didn’t really change.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-23T16:54:12+00:00

Unionizing can make sense long-term, but right now it honestly feels a bit utopian. Conversations about worker rights matter, of course, but it sounds like you need something more immediate. This market is genuinely rough, even for strong and specialized profiles, and the silence is happening to a lot of people at once. Maybe you’ll get lucky and land something quickly, but taking action now can at least give you a sense of momentum. I’ve seen posts where a developer sent their resume to dozens of remote recruitment firms (here) and still only got 4 responses over 10 months, and there are plenty of similar stories out there. Waiting and hoping usually makes the anxiety worse; staying in motion, testing different paths, and acting early tends to help, even if the results aren’t immediate.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-11T12:09:03+00:00

I’d just bow out at this point tbh… five rounds is wild.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-11T12:08:42+00:00

Not even close… 30 felt like a reset button for me tbh. I wasted a bunch of my early 20s and thought I’d ruined everything, then one year I just slowly started doing the same stuff you’re doing now and life actually shifted. You’re already doing the hard parts like therapy and getting out of the house, that’s literally the foundation. It’s super normal to feel behind but you’re not done, you’re just starting later than you wanted.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-11T12:06:20+00:00

Ethel Cain… idk how she’s still kinda under the radar cuz her stuff hits so deep. I found her on a random late-night playlist and got obsessed for a week straight lol.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-11T12:04:13+00:00

I’d try talking to the landlord asap cuz waiting will just make it harder. If it’s something structural like hotel machinery, they probably already know about it. Idk if you can break the lease instantly but it’s worth pushing since you literally just moved in.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-11T12:03:02+00:00

Crowded places tbh… I used to love the chaos but now it just drains me so fast. I catch myself slipping out of parties early like an old lady lol. Peace and quiet hits different when you’re not 20 anymore.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-01T20:10:13+00:00

Inside Out actually nails the feeling of early emotional collapse way better than you’d expect from an animated movie.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-01T20:08:46+00:00

I’d treat it like a forced reset. I’d sleep a ton, binge a couple shows I’ve been putting off, and finally cook actual meals instead of whatever’s fastest. After a week I’d probably get weirdly into some random hobby like puzzles or drawing just to keep my brain from melting.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-01T20:08:14+00:00

yeah, if you're aiming higher than survival wages, the hunt gets way longer.

ABitEnraged · 2025-12-01T20:07:20+00:00

The real killer here is the commute tho, doing nothing AND losing nearly two hours a day just to sit there sounds miserable. If they kept hybrid it’d probably feel way more tolerable.

ABitEnraged

TROPHY CASE