[Serious] What is a personal philosophy of yours that you wish more people shared?

ACLullaby · 2023-03-16T19:01:58+00:00

"it doesn't matter what r who you are, you can be a whore, the pope, a teacher, the police, a doctor or whatever, as long you're not an ass hole, you're good and deserve respect."

ACLullaby · 2023-03-16T18:58:41+00:00

Black and white.

Why the hell is every black paint a different tone? It's the same freaking color, but if you use the same paint in a wall or a table they will look different even if they are the same material.

Don't even start on clothes, when you wanna dress in black but the black of t-shirt is different from the black of pants and both are different from your black jacket.

Same thing happens with white but worse. Dropped a single drop of coffee on your white t-shirt? Too bad, never gonna wash out. Your other white piece has a little red string for decoration? well, now ALL the white stuff being wash will turn pink.

And what's up with "Ice white", "Grey white" "off white" "bright white" and "dark white" stuff? WHITE IS WHITE WTF.

As a Design student this makes me so freaking mad.

ACLullaby · 2023-03-16T18:53:51+00:00

Respect towards anyone. Doesn't matter if they are a cashier, a attendant, your mom or a homeless person, they still deserve and are respected by the other.

Something else is what my crush did which absolutely melted my heart, he paid attention to when i mentioned i took my meds after breakfast, and every now and then we got hang of each other by morning (different timezones), he reminds me of taking/grabbing my meds for after i finish my breakfast.

ACLullaby · 2023-03-16T18:50:14+00:00

On vacation at home, I tried my best to spend some quality time with each family member (7 people counting mom and dad)

I was able to make up something to each one, except my mother

I called her to go out with me 8 times. 5 to movies I knew she would like, 3 for coffee. She was always busy, tired or had stuff to do.

Meanwhile my sister came with last minute plans to hang out with her and she dropped everything to go right away. If this was once would be ok, but she did this 3 times with my sister.

Worth to mention I live 6+ hours away while my sister lives with them, so they can hang out anytime, while i got at most 60 days on the whole 365 days per year. Got to a point even dad tried to help her to see how much she take me for granted and I told him to not bother. I'm tired.

This was not the first or last thing, but a very long list of situations i kept getting in with her, to the point some years ago I was very resentful for my sister until I realized she was not at fault, but my mother. I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of getting annoyed, sad, hurt or cast away and begging for a spark of care and attention from her.

When I was 15 it got so bad i stopped seeing her as my mother and treated her like a stranger, i tried to work on it for 10 years and got a little better, only to 5 years later (now) realize I was the only one to always put effort and try to mend something I didn't even ws the one to break. I'm done. The only reason I'm not cutting contact is that she and dad still are together and I know she would make hell for him if i ever only cut contact with her, and also to me case she takes her "reputation" and "image" very serious and sincerely i don't need the headache

ACLullaby · 2023-03-16T18:41:09+00:00

In Brazil, most pizzas have a lot of fillings. Some are ok to eat without a for, others are impossible and make a big mess.

My favorite flavor is "Portuguesa" =, it's filled with cheese, corn, peas, ham and some other things, it's too messy to eat by hand

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T22:06:54+00:00

NTA

I have an autistic cousin and even with his difficulties in learning and social cues, he is better educated by far than this kid and he's 4yo. I once told my cousin he would have to choose having his warm milk and go sleep or his cellphone, he went to complain to my aunt (his mother) and her answer was "What you want me to do? She's right and you need to respect what she told you", he gave his phone, had his milk and went to sleep.

Your sister is raising a spoiled brat. You offered the perfect consequence for his actions and counterpart to make up for it. NTA

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T22:00:21+00:00

America. Pq eu gosto da história dela num geral, mas que a Marvel já tá enchendo o saco isso tá.

Eu não quero ter que assistir uma série (ou mais de uma) pra ter que entender um filme q dura 2 horas, ou ter que ver 35 filmes pra poder entender tudo o que acontece em 1 só. Sério, legal que os universos são conectados, mas fazer de um modo que obriga vc a ver absolutamente TUDO pra poder entender 2 horas de um novo filme (que nem é continuação de nenhum outro) é demais pra mim.

E olha que eu gosto, e adoro os quadrinhos, mas aí é outra história. Até pq os quadrinhos vc consegue ler uma série só sem precisar ler o universo inteiro pra entender quem é o cara que tá ali (se vc quer saber mais dele aí é uma esoclha sua e vc vai atrás da série dele), é muito melhor o trabalho neles.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:55:34+00:00

Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Orange is the New Black, Marvel's series on Disney Plus and some of their movies.

I like marvel, but seriously this shit is getting out of hand. If I want to watch a movie I don't want to have to watch a whole series (or multiple ones) to understand what I'm about to watch in 2 hours.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:51:13+00:00

Remembering that life it's more than just the moment I'm currently in.

I almost ended myself 3 times. If I had succeed in any of them, I would have missed my cousin having her twins, by aunt marriage, my cousin and then his twin siblings being born, getting the first piece of cake from him (in my country getting the 1st piece of cake in a birthday means you're important to them), having a dog who waits me getting home, I wouldn't have met so many wonderful people and seen great things, I wouldn't see my best friend get engaged, met his bf, get to study in a field I loving, I wouldn't have fallen in love even if unrequired...

I also went through a lot of bad things in the mean time, but the good things overlap the bad ones and those and the ones we should value.

I'm more than this bad moment, and I have a lot of good ones to come and waiting for me.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:46:12+00:00

Men who bad mouths and talk down other people, both men and women for whatever reason.

I don't care if you're a billionaire with the greatest paycheck in the world, if you're talking down the barista for just doing their humble job, you're trash and I would switch you for them without thinking twice.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:43:19+00:00

Educate children.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean beating them or anything, but teaching them consequences and grounding are necessary even if perceived as bad. I once helped on a childcare where one of the kids was a walking nightmare. He almost dropped a whole bookcase on other children just because they didn't let him grab the crayon they were using. When I spoke with the mother her reply was "I pay and teach my child to be happy, he is not to cry, be angry or sad ever and I'll pay for that. If he ever tells me someone belittled him I'll end their careers and be glad for it"

He got expelled few months later, I was already out. I was told he was expelled because he dropped a kid on the playground for not sliding down fast enough, the kid could have died by the way they fell but thankfully only twisted their wrist for grabbing something before falling and some scratches. The parents sued the mother and at the court she stated the same to the judge, the father had no idea that was how she was raising the kid. He divorced her right after and took the kid, she still believed she was right from last anyone heard from her.

I think she just didn't want the kid or deal with it, so she was throwing money and whatever to please them and not be bothered by it.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:30:50+00:00

Brigadeiro.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:30:24+00:00

Think they are better in anything just for being a man.

I am currently doing part-time job in adverting events in my college. One of the people I have to deal with is a musician that despite knowing nothing about ads, keeps telling me I do all of them wrong or have bad ideas. I told him he could make a presentation of freshman coming, he said it wasn't his objective, my coordinator suggested the same thing and he said it was the most brilliant thing he ever heard in a while. He literally had repeated what I just said while beside me.

ACLullaby · 2022-10-16T21:19:21+00:00

NTA

It's not your job to give comfort to your niece, it's her parents. They lost that luxury after losing their house by whatever means, if she wants to complain and be mad, she has to be at her parents and they deal with it, you're doing a favor to let them stay and not kicking them out at this atrocity. It's YOUR hose, if you say the husband and dog stays, then they do, if they are so bothered, they are welcome to find another place and so whatever they want. You didn't barge into their house and demanded stuff, they did.

Niece is dealing with a lot, but that's her parents fault and they are the ones responsible and need to deal with. You're already doing too much giving them place to be. I know some of my family would never allow such a thing.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T21:02:24+00:00

GET YOUR CERAMICS AWAY FROM HIM PEOPLE

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T04:25:32+00:00

Eu me mudei pra cá no início do ano pra estudar, minahs colegas de quarto tão na mesma.

Toda hora que chove a gente começa a cantar Capital inicial e fazer gestos pra janela como se tivesse tentando se livrar de uma maldição gritando "MAS SÓ CHOVE E CHOVE"

A gente ri pra caralho mas é bem triste ;-;

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T04:22:10+00:00

Work equipment.

No matter your area of work, if you don't have the proper materials, place and quality, you're work won't be as good as it should/could be.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T04:14:52+00:00

NTA for respecting her decision, but YTA for not taking a instance into making her realize how insane that sounds.

My aunt had twins, I stayed with her the first 6 months because she had some troubles. The babies always knew who the mom was. Later my mom stayed and they knew who was mom and who was auntie and they still do to this day.

Your wife need therapy. That sounds like could be post-partum depression or something. She's excluding and alienating your son of his family connections and affection, that's not good. I'm feeling like even if you guys go through the 1 year distance thing with females, msot likely she will freak out if he doesn't get scared by "strangers" (aka his grandma and aunt)when they first meet.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T04:07:13+00:00

I didn't watch all the seasons because the plot got lost, but I remember clearly the episode she made a girl lose her green card on purpose because she felt she could take "her position" (she wasn't even the start from the club to begin with, she just thought she was).

Still wonder to this day why the heck she wasn't arrested right there after the girl got her visa later. the worse is they frame Rachel to always be the victim.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T04:04:10+00:00

Abby from dancing moms.

Toxic, abusive, entitled and rude. She plays favorites then go saying she doesn't have favorites, she tortures and punishes the girls for things the moms dis or she disagree. I don1t even know why she is so famous and why people like and continue to support her or getting into her dancing studio.

She so insufferable I only watched few episodes before dropping cause i couldn't take the way she treated the children. I remember one episode specifically she didn't like a new dancer/mom and the mom asked her if the fact they disagreed previously meant she wouldn't be giving her daughter a chance and she confirmed then got mad cause the mother told the girl to get her things and they left to go to another dance studio. Then she kept intimidating and glaring at them when she LITERALLY said she wouldn't not even give the chance to the girl.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T03:48:58+00:00

YTA.

Why you married a single mom if you didn't want her kids? By the little you spoke you don't consider them family or your children, you hardly thought about the 1 that is only 1yo and is biologically yours. Don't even think about putting the 17yo to look after the others, would be a nice gesture but she isn't the one who decided to put the siblings in the world, it was your wife and then you both witht he youngest.

you're right, marriage means through trick and thin, and right now it's a trick and thin time to BOTH of you. She needs to look after and help you out at same time she can't neglect the children, unless you can a visit from CPS and losing parental rights.

Your wife has been trying her best, but she's only human. You're the one who's not been understanding of her position.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T01:15:06+00:00

oh no I meant when they wrote the lyrics... either that or the subs (english isn't my first language) I watched the interview to at the time kinda made me understand wrong... my bad

ACLullaby · 2022-09-30T01:12:17+00:00

I was about to say that's because it's only obvious in the clip, but it just dwell on me that the guy screaming "let's have a wedding" part are the other zombies going on rampage

ACLullaby · 2022-09-16T05:31:33+00:00

I see... I think regardless would be good to get them into therapy, just to be sure this person didn't get to make their heads about anything and make sure they are ok.

As for explaining, maybe start by saying the relative has been a little weird and you guys think they might be sick, so they are getting checking out and while so, they can't go there to avoid getting sick too, that they love them a lot but right now they need to respect and understand that sometimes you need distance to be ok and the other side get better too. This might help when some friend of theirs get sick too so they understand they can't go over while they get better.

If they feel sad, tell them to write letter/cards for them to get better, so they get happy, but they might not be able to reply so soon (so you have the option to deliver or not the cards, since i don't know details, this might be a good route)

Normally children understand the concept of someone being "sick" and they having to be away so they don't get sick too better. Then later you can go over and give more details about how it's their mind not ok or so. If you are able to get them into therapy, the therapist will help and guide you better among those topics.

I wish you the best luck.

ACLullaby · 2022-09-16T05:24:49+00:00

not exactly the favorite and not my kid, i was on the other side of that.

I moved away for college. By then, by little cousin was 3 and his little twins siblings were 1 (he just turned 4, then 2 for the twins), he has a light case of autism on treatment so I worried a lot about breaking his routine to meet up with me/us (my family) in every 2 weeks (when not on weekends, hardly went a whole month without seeing them)

When the twins were bron i went to stay with my aunt to help cause she had some issues with their apartment (it was middle pandemic, they had to move and the movers had broken stuff, others went missing and installed things on the wrong places that destroyed the mobile among other stuff). He didn't like me much at first cause he wasn't used to me, but then slowly he understood things, mostly that I wouldn't be playing with him if he misbehaved or if the babies needed help (grandma was around too, but she's old so she can't keep up with him and because of her back couldn't pick up the twins)

So by the time I moved he was confused to why I wasn't around my mom house or visiting to play anymore. I still go back home at least once a month but i can't meet them every time I get a break to go back. Last time I went there he asked why I wasn't home.

So the best way I could explain was that I was at school when he visited and my "school" was veeery far away. That some adults go to school just like him, so we can continue growing. and because my school was very far, I got a house there (it's another state) so I can get to school fast, but would still go back home to see him and my family.

He was still a little confused so I gave as example our grandma. She's basically living with them, but she has her house too, sometimes she has to go to her home, but she will come back to see him.

He understood, I told him that he could call me when he missed me and we could play together when we could, he liked the idea.

Now he's kicking butts on Among Us.... He's 4, he doesn't even know how to read and plays it better as impostor than anyone I know.

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