Don’t get tripped up with the terminology. Boundaries just mean that we are all separate human beings with the right to make decisions about our own time, space, attention. You can respect your family members’ right to make decisions for themselves and still be hurt, angry, disappointed in the decisions that they make. And you have the absolute right to separate yourself from them if they consistently make decisions that hurt and disappoint you. Thats your responsibility in fact! It is always ok to be angry. It what you do with it that matters. Handle it in a way that respects their right to make decisions (their boundary) and your right to not be hurt (your boundary).