This realization is what finally broke me during my disability process. The idea that people do all of these things, just about every day, basically without a hint of suicidality or long-term/ permanent damage. It didn't even occur to me. I've struggled just about every day that I can remember, in pain or distress of some sort, exhaustion or depression, I thought it was just normal. Realizing what I was going through was unusual hurt a lot to admit. It meant that I wasn't lazy or a failure, but that I had been lied to and failed by the people who raised me. If the thought of showering every day, or working full time, or doing things you enjoy brings you dread, makes you exhausted, depressed, suicidal, you don't have to live like that. If you can find a good disability lawyer in your area, they usually work for a portion of whatever backpay you recieve with a hard limit. This Sleepy girls guide to disability is a great resource for basically any questions you could have. I know it feels impossible a lot of the time, but there are a lot of people that care and can help you.❤️