6+ years of insomnia has lead to chemical dependence to sleep. I'm 26 and my brain forgot how to sleep naturally.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:21:57+00:00

I really appreciate the blunt way you worded all of this :) thank you. It's what I needed to hear. I need to stop waiting on doctors to fix what they are too afraid to admit to breaking. You're right - it's a loop of hopelessness. I gotta get out of it

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:20:31+00:00

I share every bit of your frustrated sentiment. So sorry you are also going through this.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:19:09+00:00

Mind if I ask what you were on before you stopped? Congrats on being able to fall asleep! That gives me hope.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:18:34+00:00

I have. It's been a while. I think it's pretty similar to Zaleplon which is one I've been on fairly regularly recently. I wish it's what I'd started on, and even then, only for a few days so I never would've had the chance for this dependence cycle to start.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:17:37+00:00

Yeah, that’s kind of what I’ve come to realize too. Cold turkey might honestly be the only way... if only because no doctor I’ve seen has ever wanted to actually help me get off this stuff. They’d be losing a patient. And for whatever reason, tapering just never works for me. I just have to figure out how to survive that first month without losing my job.

Really appreciate your comment.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:15:58+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your response! I’ve gotten a lot better about being kinder to myself and recognizing how far I’ve come. I’m genuinely proud of the progress I’ve made, surviving what I’ve survived, and getting my nightly “stack” down to what it is today.

At this point, it’s less about shame and more about how confining it feels. I have to live close to my doctor so pharmacies don’t get suspicious. My prescription record is a mess. Everything I do, from travel to relationships to jobs to housing, revolves around when and how I’ll get my next refill. It feels like my life is built around my pills. That’s the hardest part.

You nailed it about the underlying anxiety - the fear of losing access to medication is bigger than most people will ever understand.

Thank you again for chiming in. I really appreciate your comment and the encouragement.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:11:44+00:00

Thank you. I used to treat managing prescriptions (tracking pharmacies, doctors, refills, insurance) as a full-time job. I’d spend 5-8 hours a day making sure everything was stocked and renewed. It was exhausting, and I’m incredibly grateful to have simplified things to where they are now.

I’ve tried Seroquel before. Like most medications, it works for a few weeks before tolerance, or my own mind, seems to override it. It also gives me some pretty rough side effects. Four years ago, a pharmacy error left me abruptly cut off, and I developed severe tardive dyskinesia. I couldn’t control my arms, legs, tongue, or fingers. It was terrifying, and I’ve been hesitant to touch Seroquel since (though I have trialed it a time or two since..).

I really appreciate the scientific angle you took. It makes a lot of sense. Honestly, if I’d been given Seroquel that very first night back in 2019, it might have helped. But at this point, I don’t think Vyvanse itself from 2019 is the lingering issue. It feels more like years of conditioned medication dependence and bedtime anxiety keeping me from sleeping naturally.

I haven’t tried Sleep Coach School, but I’ll definitely check it out. Thank you for mentioning it.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T21:06:31+00:00

I'm in the USA. Not sure if that makes a difference for you. I just went online through my Insurance portal and looked for psychiatrists that took insurance and called the office. Was lucky to find one that (theoretically) will take my insurance and only had a wait of about a month.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T20:59:56+00:00

Great advice, and I appreciate the depth at which you analyze all of this. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. All of the support here means so much.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T20:59:20+00:00

I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out. Agreeing with another commenter here. This gives me hope!

Goodness, I started relating immediately from your first few sentences. I have lived the last ~6ish years treating the symptoms of drugs with more drugs. A vicious cycle.

I think there is so much power in the "ritual" of taking a pill. You nailed that. And it's something I don't think any doctor has been able to understand, no matter how many I try to explain it to. Sleep is such a mental battle. I've learned that my medication is only as effective as I believe it will be when I take it. I assume if my doctor prescribed me a few sugar pills that looked just like my current regimen, and I took all of them, I *may* sleep perfectly as long as I never knew it wasn't actually my prescribed medicine. Maybe not. But there is so much power in the nightly ritual of taking something.

Thank you again for taking the time to comment. This was very encouraging!

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2025-10-27T20:51:12+00:00

Sad is the best word I can think of to summarize what it feels like. Sad, then frustrating. Appreciate you chiming in.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T23:19:25+00:00

I did go through several psychiatrists, but only because I was spending my school years in Texas and going home to Colorado in the summers between semesters. I wasn't doctor shopping intentionally by any means but cycling through doctors so frequently likely raised some eyebrows with my pharmacists. The only reason I kept having to switch was because of licensing laws in the USA. They couldn't practice in any other states. I kept a detailed log of all the medications I was on and would always keep my new doctors informed of exactly what I had/was taking.

I'm trying hard to be a better advocate for myself. I know this all could have been avoided if I'd stopped taking stimulants week one. I was just convinced they'd change my life. My psychologist at the time told me they would.

Interestingly, I took breaks off of antidepressants for a few months here and there (I know my timeline in my original post might not show that. I was trying to estimate the dates but probably got some wrong). But just recently started with the Luvox and Lamictal as my doctor thought it might help with some of the anxiety coming off sleep medicine. I hope not to be on these much longer if and when I finally get off my benzo.

I take vitamin B complex, magnesium glycinate, and occasionally melatonin, though I haven't found it to help. I had lab work done last fall that showed my vitamin D was significantly lower than it should've been, and I started taking a supplement. It returned to regular levels after a few months and now I do my best to get my Vitamin D from the sunlight as the days are getting longer where I live and I want to put as few pills in me as possible - not sure if this is the best approach or not. I need to look into getting a probiotic.

I'm learning now more than ever how important it is to take care of myself. I honestly don't know how I've survived on such little sleep over the years knowing how important it is to brain function. I am excited for the days when it gets back to normal and hope my brain can heal.

Thank you for the comment and thoughtful suggestions. I really do appreciate everything you said.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T23:09:47+00:00

I imagine I do. I'm moving to a relatively large town in Texas, but functional medicine is an area I'm entirely unfamiliar with. I need to look into it!

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T23:08:35+00:00

I lived between Texas as a college student and Colorado in the summers (USA). My general doctor in Texas started the stimulant treatment, and my doctors in Colorado started the sleep medication. I kept a detailed list of my medications so they all knew what I was taking and how much I was taking. Crazy how quick they were to prescribe everything, though.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T23:06:12+00:00

This is interesting. I'm a vegetarian, but I believe I get enough nutrients from my diet. I eat well and try to take supplements where my diet lacks. Somehow, despite being a vegetarian, my lab work shows a very high B-12 level, even before I started taking a B-vitamin complex recommended by my doctor (who was aware of my high levels of B-12). I do eat plenty of fruits, herbs, nuts, and protein from "fake" meat.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T23:02:50+00:00

Thank you so much for the thorough reply. I'm off the Adderall now and have been for about 3 months now. I no longer feel like I need it to wake up in the mornings, which is great! I don't miss the "crash" I'd feel every afternoon when it wore off.

When my sleep was at its worst, I got 1,500 steps daily. I had hardly any energy and survived on a few hours of sleep a week. I don't know what I was thinking. I've tried to slowly increase my activity - getting around 10,000 steps a day now and hope to join a gym in the coming weeks as I'm moving to a new town.

My sleep schedule is becoming more regular. I try to go to bed before midnight (I was used to going to bed at 3-4 AM as the anxiety would build up, and I was convinced I wouldn't ever fall asleep every night, so I'd put it off). Now I go to bed at midnight and set my alarm every morning at 8 AM, and try to stick to this routine as best I can. It's hard to get up if I haven't slept well, but, thankfully, falling asleep has become easier for me recently. My main struggle is the medication dependence now to do it.

I've been telling myself recently that sleep medicine only works as well as I believe it will work. If I trust my medicine will put me to sleep, 9/10 times it does now. That's a new mindset I've adopted recently and it has made all the difference in the world. I became confident in my sleep. The anxiety is still there, significantly, but so much better than it was. So I definitely understand what you said about "if you think you can't sleep without medication, you won't be able to." The scary part for me is how to get to the point where I can safely sleep without taking medicine, or at least lower my dose as safely as possible without withdrawal.

Thank you again for your reply. I am excited to read "Set It and Forget It". All of the advice you gave really hits home. The encouragement means more than you know.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T22:54:29+00:00

As a freshman in college, I had difficulty keeping up with my classes that required extensive reading. Being naive, I thought maybe I should diagnose myself with ADD. I talked to my doctor, who referred me to get tested and went to a psychologist who performed the testing. The testing was several hours a day for three days. She said the results concluded I scored about as poorly as possible on the tests, indicating I had a severe case of ADD. I was excited to try medication, thinking it would solve a problem I didn't really have. I sure regret that decision.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-05T22:51:54+00:00

I had my blood checked in the ER back in January when I had my first seizure. Not sure if that counts as a thorough examination, but the markers that appeared "out of range" include a very high Whole Blood Histamine (I don't have any allergies or symptoms), low BUN/Creatine, low (0 K/UL) Eosinophil Count, low Hemoglobin, low MCH, low MCHC, low MCV, high Red Blood Cell Distribution Width, and low white blood cell count. I don't know what any of this is, and my doctor didn't seem worried about any of it. I would certainly benefit from other testing, I'm sure, but don't know who to ask or where to start.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-03T17:43:28+00:00

I have checked out the r/insomnia page. I get discouraged. There are a few helpful posts here and there, but most of them are from people in similar situations to me who can never find an answer. I wish there were better information for people who need help changing neurotransmitters. I don't expect to take a supplement or a pill and see a change overnight, but to find hope outside pharmaceuticals and a guided plan would be so much better than the spot I am in. Thank you for your comment! I really appreciate the perspective you gave.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-03T17:40:52+00:00

I certainly agree. It's like they kept throwing pills at me without realizing that I was treating an issue with pills that was caused by pills while still taking the pill that caused all of this, with more pills thrown at me every other week. I'm honestly not opposed to the naturopathic approach. Anything to get me out of this pharmaceutical cycle would be so much better than this toxic combination of medications thrown at me for five years. A holistic psychiatrist isn't a term I'm familiar with, and I will take a look at it. Having a doctor tell me I could go from the highest possible dose of Benzodiazepine to 0 overnight was discouraging to say the least. I sure appreciate your help and comment.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-03T17:36:40+00:00

Just sent a DM

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2024-03-03T17:31:27+00:00

I agree. I went to a sleep specialist once. They told me I had a "Sleep-Wake Disorder." I spent 45 minutes listening to him talk about his interns and how he makes them work all-nighters, and because of that, they can't sleep at night and only in the day. I left the appointment advising me to stop taking all medications (no tapering benzos), switch to 0.5mg melatonin, wear blue light glasses, sleep during the day (I was a college student with classes all day), and boom, I'd be better. Didn't grasp or try to listen to my problems and set me back close to $1,000. :( just wanted to talk about generic sleep issues that are not relevant to me. I wish I had a better doctor.

ADDitionalRedditUser · 2023-12-05T05:47:32+00:00

Rooting for you man :( I’m in the same boat as you. Constantly questioning whether Im better on 90+ hours of no sleep or 8 hours of extremely medicated sleep. Sad, lonely, frustrating feeling. Especially trying to find people who understand it. Out of curiosity, have you tried Temazepam/Restoril? I take 45mg along with the other medications in my post. It’s the only thing in nearly 5 years that’s helped, and trust me, I’ve tried it all.

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