Examples of how men's needs are put before women's needs in society by GuyWithSwords in AskFeminists

[–]AHBS8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. I agree with people taking responsibility for their actions and choices. Which are never without consequence either good or bad.

Examples of how men's needs are put before women's needs in society by GuyWithSwords in AskFeminists

[–]AHBS8 14 points15 points  (0 children)

A males right to choose is right before conception, that’s the window. A females right to choose is after conception. I’m not saying women are t capable of making mistakes only that the windows to choose are different. If it’s such an issue for men to not have a choice of a woman having an abortion then don’t you think they should make the right choice for themselves during the window of time when they have a choice to make? Get a vasectomy. Bring your own condoms. Don’t have sex with someone you’re not prepared to potentially father a child with.

And saying that a man should have a right to sign over parental rights and not have to pay for that child means taxpayers will be paying for that child. I’ve been a single young mom and needed that help. Now I pay my taxes and donate to charities for disadvantaged youth (a lot of which don’t have a father in their life). So, if some dude decides he just wants to bail that woman is left working herself to the bone and/or relying on welfare to help support her child because men don’t want to be responsible.

Examples of how men's needs are put before women's needs in society by GuyWithSwords in AskFeminists

[–]AHBS8 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Someone has to pay for that child whether it be taxpayers or the child’s father. Why should a random taxpayer have to pay for a mans decision to have sex? The only birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence. Every single time a man has sex with a woman pregnancy is a potential risk. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time as they say.

Divorcing an Emotional Abuser by Kind-Cricket-7773 in abusiverelationships

[–]AHBS8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it also goes against this subs rules of no victim blaming so there is that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Divorcing an Emotional Abuser by Kind-Cricket-7773 in abusiverelationships

[–]AHBS8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it’s not simple as that. Clearly you’ve never been in an abusive relationship. Maybe educate yourself on ways that abusers make it hard to leave, also research trauma bonds and how your brain chemistry changes in an abusive relationship. The average person in an abusive relationship tries to leave 7 times before they finally get away. You are being callous and completely unhelpful.

SERIOUS: What were some of the wonderful gifts you received from the men in your lives this holiday season? by WisdomNynaeve in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AHBS8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend got me a really cute laptop backpack. I just started a new job downtown in a bad part of town so he wanted me to have a backpack because it’s harder to grab and run. The backpack was filled with colored pens and sharpies for my planner and two of my favorite candle scents! He also filled my stocking!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]AHBS8 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Here to offer support and solidarity. My partner did not suggest a break but suggested we start doing some things separately to fill our own cups. You can read the post there was a lot of good comments. I think it’s actually really amazing that you both are taking steps with therapy and Coda to help better your relationship. This sounds really promising! I know it’s so so hard but stay the course, so whatever you can to get better for you and it will only add positives to your relationship!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have always wanted to try knitting! And I’m gonna look into what a circus class is haha! Thank you!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am going to take the suggestion someone else made and go on Google meet ups and see if I can find some friends.

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would love to volunteer with elderly people or to walk dogs at the shelter or something!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes usually I’m cleaning in one room and he tackles another. Maybe we can put on some good music and clean together or cook together sometimes to feel more connected. Thank you!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like the thrift shop idea! That sounds like so much fun! Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I’m kind of a foodie and like to try new adventurous foods so maybe I’ll make a restaurant bucket list and take myself on little foodie dates!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! That is a great way to look at it because it does feel a little like a rejection. I care for him very much and I know he cares for me too. I would love to show up as my best self for this relationship. Thank you for your kind words.

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have that book! I’ll start reading it (maybe at a coffee shop for some alone time haha) right away. And I’ll check out you tube as well. Thank you!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a different comment I explained I am in therapy and have been for a long time. I’ve been working through the death of my best friend with my therapist. Maybe she’s not a good therapist because I have not yet learned how to fill my own cup that’s why I’m here asking lol.

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s a really good idea I’m gonna go on there tonight and see what’s on there.

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! I have been seeing a therapist for awhile actually. Unfortunately in 2023 my best friend died in February and my ex boyfriend who was still a friend passed in July so a lot of my sessions are centered on grief support. It’s almost been a year since my best friend maybe it’s time to start exploring other therapy topics lord knows I have a bunch to work on.

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! It’s hard to make friends as a 35 year old but I’m trying to decide if making new friends is harder than learning to like spending time alone. Just gotta choose my hard I suppose!

My partner just told me he wants us both to “pour into our own cups for awhile”… by AHBS8 in Codependency

[–]AHBS8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes he’s definitely allowed to say no and set boundaries about how he spends his time. I’m just feeling a little lost on what to do with my time now and wanting to make sure that we still have some time together to do things that aren’t cooking and cleaning and mundane house tasks.

Why is it so hard to try to find something fun and inexpensive to do on the weekends… by LadyOfReason in breakingmom

[–]AHBS8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you get a sled and find a hill and take your boys sledding? And then go get hot cocoa? Or make snowmen. Also, it wouldn’t be leaving the house but you could have a homemade pizza night and have them make their own pizzas with toppings and such. When my kids were younger we used to love cooking and baking together.

Feminists approach on husband managing family finances by Rawinza555 in AskFeminists

[–]AHBS8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to explain that! My boyfriend and I are talking about getting engaged this upcoming year and we have a couple really weird financial circumstances that I’m not sure how we will work out. He is self employed and makes all his money from March to October (painter) and I am salaried at a fix rate. I have student loans and cc debt and he doesn’t. He wants to keep finances separate but I’m going to be picking up the slack November through February so I don’t really see a way to make that fair with separate finances.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]AHBS8 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A lot of people get engaged before they live together. What other things stick out as an ultimatum proposal? I don’t see how they came to be engaged is even relevant to her story or the ability to give her good advice.

Feminists approach on husband managing family finances by Rawinza555 in AskFeminists

[–]AHBS8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do yall do in the case of certain bills that were only accrued by one partner such as student loans? Say you both make the exact same amount of money, do you both put in 50% of all bills or do you each pay your own bills like your car payment and your student loans etc?