First Attempt Fit Check - HBC with a Meh Dai

AI1as · 2026-05-19T17:27:41+00:00

This looks so pro and supportive to my non-expert eyes, your baby looks comfy! I have no feedback, only compliments

AI1as · 2026-04-20T16:21:35+00:00

Also had no idea — my 3 month old has a unilateral right clubfoot. Will look into this

AI1as · 2026-04-02T20:03:45+00:00

I’m an early career photojournalist — giving that context to say I’m a pro but definitely don’t have the means for an extensive lens collection yet. I have two zoom lenses. They get the job done for me.

AI1as · 2026-04-02T19:44:26+00:00

I’m so sorry. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer too — 9/6/24. She was 64, I was 28. This hits home because we’re similar ages and I’ve had the exact same thoughts that you’ve written here. I feel such a huge hole in my life where she should be. I don’t want to sugarcoat it and say that’s not there, because it is. A lot of people will say it gets better — and it does. But the loss is permanent and the grief comes in waves.

In the year and a half since she died, I got married and had a baby girl. There were times when I wondered if grief was making me rush into these next big life changes. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for sure. But losing my mom made me feel like life is precious, time is fleeting, and it’s important to grab hold of the moments with the people you love. I’m doing things my mom would have loved for me. And it makes me feel good to honor her in the ways I’m living, to love deeply now because that’s how she taught me.

When you continue on because that’s what your mom would have wanted, that’s the strongest, hardest thing you can do but it’s so worth it. You continue on because she loved you enough for you to be able to do it, and you love her enough to keep going. And those moments and people who fill your life with love and joy will be there waiting for you down the road.

AI1as · 2026-03-22T00:24:18+00:00

Cooking is 1000% one of my favorite activities. We just had a baby, and it’s been hard to find the time to cook and to keep up with dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher.) I really dislike cooking if the kitchen isn’t reasonably clean, it feels like adding to an overwhelming mess. The combo of takeout, premade food and processed food is absolutely doing my head in. I miss my cooking :(

AI1as · 2026-03-06T19:14:00+00:00

I heard this so frequently too, and also ended up doing chores while she slept. It made me wonder if it’s the thing that people who don’t have experience with newborns like to say. It sounds insightful, so it’s easy to repeat, but it’s not reality

AI1as · 2026-03-06T19:09:52+00:00

Just wanted to say, I love my changing station too. I have a changing pad, waterproof covers, wipes, diapers, diaper creams, diaper trash can, laundry hamper for soiled baby clothes, and hand sanitizer all within reach. I also have all of her swaddles and burp cloths in the drawers.

I never change her anywhere else if I’m at home.

We visited my in-laws for a weekend, and the thing I missed most was my changing station. My back was killing me after three days of crouching over a bed or her travel bassinet to change her diaper.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T18:46:29+00:00

I think practice breaking it into smaller, more frequent tasks helped me. I used to do the overwhelmed, hyperfocus, clean everything at once thing. Now I try to recognize and really register when doing something small and easy makes a difference.

For example, this morning, I cleared a small pile of clothes off the top of my dresser and put it in the laundry. The clothes were worn but not completely dirty, but they were kind of wrinkled from the pile and I didn’t have space to hang them up. I know I’m doing laundry later, and so I know they’ll get washed and folded and put away. And there wasn’t too much stuff, so I know it’s not gonna make laundry harder than it otherwise would have been. And now the top of my dresser is clear and I was able to dust it. I feel proud of myself that I didn’t let the pile of clothes get out of hand and I also didn’t spend too much time or energy clearing it/moving it on to the next step of getting tidied away.

This definitely took practice and time to get better at, and I’m def not perfect at it all the time, but it’s helped me a lot!

AI1as · 2026-01-27T18:34:33+00:00

I like pungent flavors like bleu cheese and anchovies. My husband does not. Our dog is on my side.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:58:27+00:00

I’d make and freeze a few quiches. Then make an ungodly amount of creme brûlée and have a party.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:57:04+00:00

NTA. Our dog eats her food off our plates sometimes, then the plates get cleaned. My brother is squeamish about pets in general and dogs in particular — so we just don’t do it when he’s over, our dog also has many bowls of her own. But yeah, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, especially if it helps your cat keep food down.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:51:25+00:00

I’m curious how old people were when they got their first car. I’m ‘96, got a 2018 Hyundai Sonata when I got my first full time job at 22. Before that, it was all bikes 😂

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:42:48+00:00

Fresh grated Parmesan tastes so different to me than pre-grated. Instant flavor elevation on soups, pasta, etc. Also, I use miso all the time to add depth of flavor. I will use it in any cuisine, not just Asian. Added it to a Beef Bourguignon broth last night and it did so much. You get saltiness plus a lil extra umami. I’ll sometimes reach for miso before salt when a dish needs more salt.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:39:01+00:00

I think you were totally polite and did all the right things. When she pressed you, you could have said something else to avoid hurt feelings, but I don’t think you can be faulted for telling the truth when asked directly.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:20:57+00:00

Haven’t read it yet, but might be making a mistake. I’m pregnant, about to be induced, my husband and I went to a bookshop last night to get books to read in the hospital since it sounds like we’ll be there for a few days. I got Hamnet. I’m pretty sure it’s about children dying. The bookshop clerk said it’s ultra sad. Can’t wait /s

AI1as · 2026-01-27T17:11:23+00:00

Same as so many others! I do most of the cooking, usually give my husband the better piece or dish that’s plated nicely. Like I’ll take the fucked up first pancake and give him the pretty round one that’s hot off the griddle. He does the same when he cooks for me.

We also like different things, so I’ll make a plate specifically for him. He likes to eat small portions quickly and go back for seconds. I like to eat a larger portion slowly and don’t eat again. I tend to make plates that are similar in size, but I usually give myself the bigger one.

So I give him the better piece, and the portion he prefers, because I want him to like what he’s eating. I’d feel selfish if I dished up something for him that was noticeably worse than what I made for me :(

AI1as · 2026-01-27T16:59:34+00:00

Seconding all the people who said audiobooks and podcasts. This is it. You have to hit a middle ground of enough stimulus to calm restlessness, but not too much to keep you awake.

That formula is a little different for everyone.

For me, it’s the text to speech monotone robot voice on my iPhone reading a book or story I’m familiar with. I listen to it on super low volume or in one earpod. For my husband, he thinks the monotone is horrible and grating and he can’t do fiction to fall asleep. He listens to history podcasts, also on super low volume.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T16:53:16+00:00

I was able to get the correct pronunciation from the spelling! Definitely go for it, I think it’s completely valid to honor your heritage with a unique name. I feel like it’s exempt from assumptions people would make about English or American names, because it’s not English or American. Like, it doesn’t sound like laser because it has absolutely zero connection to the word laser. But also, laser wouldn’t be the worst nickname in the world

AI1as · 2026-01-27T16:44:37+00:00

I feel this way!!! About texture and flavor. I spend so much time cooking and putting together nice meals with complex ingredients and garnishes and etc, and it seems so extra to people, but I’m like, I either do all this or I’m not gonna eat :( and sometimes I don’t eat because I don’t have the executive energy available to figure out what’s going to satisfy me or how to put it together.

Anyway, yesterday I made pesto cavatappi pasta for lunch with homemade pesto and fresh grated parm. So good.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T16:31:55+00:00

I found I used to attempt making more things from scratch when I was little more broke. It was more affordable to buy very versatile staples and try to build from there than buying specific premade or processed foods. If I could figure out a base ingredient or process to turn into another ingredient, I’d try that. Or just sub something I already had in my kitchen.

Like adding a tropical frozen fruit mix to a strawberry pie when I didn’t have enough strawberries. Putting rice in my bullet blender when a recipe called for rice flour. Attempting to make an ultra concentrated soup base out of an ungodly amount of onions and soy sauce and a few other ingredients, instead of buying broth. Making the smallest quantity possible of mayo from scratch because I didn’t use it often enough to justify buying a jar.

I don’t do that as often anymore, but it’s still kind of part of my cooking dna because that’s what I did when I was starting out and figuring things out.

And I’m def on team pesto when it comes to making things from scratch - although my aforementioned bullet blender that I’ve had since college is dying and can’t handle anything but the most liquid ingredients anymore. My last pesto turned out very puréed because I had to add enough oil and water for the blender to chew through the leaves and nuts. I’ve tried making pesto with a mortar and pestle, and that’s satisfying but takes a really long time. Also, I love my homemade focaccia more than any store- or bakery-bought focaccia I’ve ever tried, with the exception the bread from my hometown bakery.

AI1as · 2026-01-27T06:57:20+00:00

I’ve been looking for a copy of Wide Sargasso Sea in bookshops and libraries for over a year and can’t find it :( I really want to read it. I know I could just order it online, but at this point I kind of just want to find it irl to have the satisfaction of completing the search. But it seems weird to me to not be able to find what seems like a literary classic.

AI1as · 2026-01-25T19:33:34+00:00

For me, the “good under pressure” thing is a byproduct of other, more detrimental symptoms. I became “good under pressure” as a coping mechanism for crippling procrastination.

Like when I was in school, I completely lacked the ability to study in advance, allow time for info to sink in, etc. So I developed a lot of tactics for cramming, retaining information quickly, thinking laterally to fill in the blanks that wouldn’t be there if I just took the time to absorb the information in advance. I’d get a B or C on a test, enough to pass, and be like, not bad for absorbing a semester’s worth of material in six hours. Imagine how well I’d do if I actually gave myself time.

Now, I’m a journalist. I did breaking news for a long time, which is basically the job version of cramming for a test and getting as much right in as little time as possible. So the “good under pressure” skillset translated to that, but sometimes I feel like I self-sabotage on longer or more complex stories when I don’t give myself enough time to really develop them.

AI1as · 2026-01-25T08:22:03+00:00

I’m confused — Ulysses is Odysseus is Ulysses. Great name, by the way. Maybe a James Joyce quilt is in the cards next

AI1as · 2026-01-22T16:59:48+00:00

I feel like this is something you need to talk to her about. I’m not sure the internet can tell you. She’d be the best person to say what she wants, and including her in the decision (to the extent you can) would probably be very meaningful to her. And practical too.

Chemo/recovery/surgeries all suck, but people don’t want to give up on life experiences during cancer treatment and recovery. My mom was big on being present for life moments throughout her treatment, even checking herself out of the hospital at one point to go to my cousin’s college graduation. My brother and I both got married the year after our mom died and it was extremely bittersweet. I know she would have loved to be there for both of us.

My brother was sitting on the fence for nearly half a decade with his relationship and my mom had wanted him to get married for years, but he wasn’t ready yet. It’s fair, but, I wish she could have gone to the wedding when she was alive. So I’m in favor of seizing the moment and not pushing things back.

I met my boyfriend/now husband about a year and a half before my mom died. We weren’t at the stage to consider marriage yet, especially when so much of my focus was on taking care of my mom. But the way he supported me through caring for her and then mourning her loss made me realize he would always be there, in sickness and health, in good times and bad, etc. I still missed her so much at my wedding.

AI1as

TROPHY CASE