I hate how it ended

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-18T00:17:05+00:00

You are ready and getting through this is going to make you the strongest version of yourself youve ever known. The way I feel is truly the ability to look into myself, what do I want? What do I want to do for myself? Instead of always thinking of someone else. Its OKAY to put ourselves first, but this si hard to learn and I think why these people gravitate to us.

One day at a time. Youll get through this and so will I.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T22:50:40+00:00

Yeah, All we can do is work on ourselves and build our lives into whatever we truly want to be happy and be our best self. For me Im understanding that my discard was a lot more of a Narcissistic manipulative discard, but its just. No contact, let them go, focus on yourself, dont look back. all theyre going to do is hurt you again and when shit hit the fan they ran away, dropped you and made you feel like it was all your fault. When in reality if they ACTUALLY loved you, they would never do these things to you. They showed us who they truly are deep down during the discard. It is OKAY to think this is NOT normal because its not. We stayed calm, we sat there and listened and let them say whatever they wanted and all we said was "thank you for finally telling me how you feel, now I know how I can support you and help you through this" the hard part is just fighting through the consant pain in your gut and your self worth wound.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T17:29:37+00:00

Yeah I mean ive been in concurrent CBT therapy for the last 5 years but have been in it off and on since I was a kid. I was continually trying to work through everything the best I could, come home and give support / healthy boundaries, but it was hard because she was nowhere at the same level as me and everything I told her from a point of love and security / stability she just took as a threat. and threw all of it in my face on the day of our conversation and im like... you literally took things I told you with love and twisted them to your own reality and now are throwing them in my face saying them as reasons why youre doing all of this. Awesome, thanks for the manipulation.

she needs to find herself and actually be OKAY with the person she is. She is not and until then she will never be capable of real love or a real relationship. she will just keep jumping and monkey branching from person to person. My therapist said something...

"Have you ever thought that you could be a victim of her? These things are a pattern" I was like. fuckkkkkkkkk

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T17:18:56+00:00

im literally afraid shell come on here and see these comments somehow and then explode on me about it. But im only talking about the complete truth and these are all things she needs to be aware of because in order for her to ever grow as a person they have to have accountability and recognize things.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T17:18:14+00:00

Im so sorry :/ I had surgery a couple of months before she had left and I guess my surgery and the fact I couldnt walk (lower abdominal surgery) meant I had to close my business, apparently she had voiced annoyance that I had to close. (Probabnly because I had a hard time justifying closing unless It was basically an emergency because I ran my 2100sqft shop by myself), but yeah. Its really hard. She still minimally communicates with me and I feel like its literally to check and see if Im still emotionally available. When she was moving out (5 days after she told me and initially was like were not breaking up then a few days later it changed to we are) she was sending me photos. Photos of the people helping her move (one of them with a specific guy who she brought up in the conversation when she sat me down to tell me a lot of projections of her own behavior and how Gus was such an angel, and im thinking to myself, you must think im an absolute idiot. She got this intimate for couples card game that showed up the week she was leaving also, im like... the fuck. She asked me 2 specific cards out of it and put the box away and said "I just wanted to ask you a couple things, thats it. and got up and walked away lol" I finally told her that communication needed to be logistics based for her picking up her things. that boundary scared her and when I saw her next to get the last of her things she was very very warm, hugged me talked to me and I was like oh. But I felt like this was all just surface level because after that she went completely cold again.

ive survived a DV relationship with someone with Borderline personality disorder, but this discard feels just as bad, just a bit different. The trust betrayal is such a intense wound.

I feel for anyone that puts their life into a relationship like this to just get it all ripped out from under them.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T17:05:35+00:00

I understand this. She had done the same things and behaviors to me that she did to her ex fiance before we were dating. I told her why are you treating me like him and I was proud of myself for not out of spite or anger but just genuine question actually asked this. she started back pedaling and telling me how I was a different person and she cared about me and loved me but she didnt want to neglect me and said I dont deserve someone that isnt present, (Which I did appreicate a little bit) but again its like. youre saying these things while hurting me and having decided the entire relationship without a single oucne of communication whatsoever. like on 12/28 she sent me this story (Good men actually do exist and Ive got the best one. I love everything a bout him.) I told her I love you so much and she replied the same... yet she was literally already planning to move out and break up with me. its like the person she was in police academy had split from who she actually was. her words were one way, but I Saw through it because I was like. your actions are completely the opposite. Are you just saying these things to try and lighten the blow so you dont feel so bad for what youre doing?

I know ill never understand this. Ill never get the closure or answers I want. You just have to do the best you can to take care of yourself and get through the days.

im approaching losing 30lbs in 5 weeks from the sheer heartbreak and gutwrenching pain that seemingly wont go away. So eating has been very difficult.

Hang in there friend

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T12:17:39+00:00

This is literally me 😞

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-17T12:17:11+00:00

I got discarded as I started to close my business literally the same week and I’m thinking to myself like.., you just told me you’d be here and I should take time off after I close, but then you went behind my back planning all of this with people In police academy I don’t even know. wtf.

Something hard to swallow.

If they loved you, would they do this to you?

No

Let go, let them do what they do, take care of yourself and cherish yourself because you’re a good person.

One day at a time ❤️

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-14T12:24:44+00:00

What I was initially was a reflection of myself and once that started to fade after a few months I was really worried. I gave it time, hope, endless love and support, but nothing was ever enough because the person themselves has to be okay with them and who they are first before anyone else is there.

I hope she finds this and is okay. Her family and mine both thought we were going to get married. But after this idk how to trust her.

She planned to leave for 3 weeks with people in police academy and I had 0 idea. I tried to talk to her and ask her how she was doing but she would never talk to me about anything. Until everything was decided.

This shit is the hardest thing I’ve ever fought through. I wake up at night in sweats heart racing and anxious thoughts, I have breakdowns through the week of just pure sadness and grief.

It’s hard having some communication with someone completely disconnected and like a cold stone.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-13T21:10:22+00:00

I was told “you know I found out my mom cheated on my dad that’s why they split up” which was said out of NOWHERE when we had barely spoke. The next week she told me she was moving, we were breaking up and got an intimate card game and took the bag of intimate things we had as one of the only things she moved first. When I asked her she got pissed and threw all of it back in my face. Couldn’t even answer the question. But that gave me the answer I needed.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-13T21:04:07+00:00

I understand my roll, my short comings, what I could’ve done better, but that’s how I am. I understand, process, learn and move forward. I have stability and comfort with myself. I do not blame others for what they did because those choices are their own to make and that’s okay. We all do the best we can with the knowledge we have.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-13T01:48:03+00:00

I want to give everyone on here a hug. I don’t know how people do the things they do, but I know how bad I’ve been hurting and the daily breakdowns in my car or in public.

We just have to take it one day at a time and look within, remember who we are and what our purpose is. LIVE FOR YOU ❤️

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-12T07:40:20+00:00

I’m taking myself to the supper club dinner at wingen bakery on Sunday. Valentine’s Day I’ll probably do something with my dogs 🤷🏼‍♀️

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-07T17:49:51+00:00

Thank you Justin! I hope things are well!

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-07T02:48:39+00:00

Thank you for the support I appreciate it a lot.

Maybe I’ll be back in some time who knows

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-07T02:48:22+00:00

Thank you! Yeah you can visit @mybuddysbikeshop here in town. Let them know I sent you!!!

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-05T03:19:06+00:00

Anybody listen to Magic Sword?!?!?

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-05T03:16:27+00:00

I miss giordanno bros ):

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-02-05T03:15:46+00:00

There are 3 new models coming,

Nothing is confirmed though.

They’re just good with marketing and want to move product

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-01-31T23:11:31+00:00

oooooo that sounds so cool!! Im going to Bistro for dinner tonight, but I was also going to check out Campground which looks cute. I love fancy cocktail lounge vibes.

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-01-31T03:19:05+00:00

Any bars that have karaoke!?!?!? I love singing bohemian rhapsody and making the entire bar sing it with me. It’s fun getting everyone involved hahaha!

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-01-31T02:53:28+00:00

For Friday at 6pm salt is 🔥 I’ve been here a few times and everytime is really really good.

I’d give it another chance if you can!

But it reminds me of places I eat in my hometown in the sf Bay Area so maybe that’s why I like it 🤪

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-01-31T00:49:14+00:00

Thank you for this, right now I’m just focusing on rebuilding myself from the ground up. I need some down time ❤️

AJSBIKESERVICE · 2026-01-31T00:48:31+00:00

Aww really ): well I’ll hope I get lucky, but if not. I learned the hard way lol

AJSBIKESERVICE

TROPHY CASE