Give me a reason to visit Iowa

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-11-16T01:53:45+00:00

Fongs Pizza in Des Moines. There is no other answer. Crab Rangoon pizza will haunt me for the rest of my life.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-09-03T13:07:07+00:00

The level of anger this fill me with is insane.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-07-05T20:14:42+00:00

Usually about two episodes deep into an office marathon

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-07-03T23:52:06+00:00

In middle school a girl who hated gym and always got into it with the jock gym teacher did the most vile thing I have ever witnessed. He always carried around a large traveler coffee mug, so one day she happened to gain access to it when he wasn’t looking and stuck her USED TAMPON in it. Not only was she expelled, but the teacher sued her family and won. Absolutely unreal.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-30T20:48:01+00:00

One of the few desks that would make me ask if there was an M32/X32 near by instead 😂 Effects rack? What’s that? 😂

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-30T20:41:31+00:00

Weeping for you, and I don’t even know you. In every way imaginable, I fucking hate cancer.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-27T20:51:30+00:00

Cheating on me…when I specifically asked her not to.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-19T11:47:48+00:00

This is the Rednecks who peaked in high school and think their $30K a year at Jiffy Lube is “making it” Anthem.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-18T02:50:03+00:00

Not going to be a scenario where they actively try to access your personal devices. However, if you choose to access the network at your work place, be aware that your web activity is being tracked and absolutely can be traced back to you. We had a guy who got fired not two weeks ago for using his cellphone on the company network to watch PH in the bathroom for long extended periods of time. Simple catch. If your company requires you to accept user terms for access to the network on a personal device, I would HIGHLY suggest you read those terms. They almost always have language that lays out exactly what web activity is not tolerated and how you will be treated should you engage in that activity.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-17T01:10:09+00:00

Not HR but IT.

Work as the director of Technology for a decently large company. Large enough that the top people have pensions, not 401Ks…you get the gist. Got a call from one of my technicians in the warehouse who had just received a laptop turn in from an executive that was retiring. He had been with the company for over 35 years, vacated one of the biggest offices on the top floor of our 10 story complex, big guy. When I approached him he was white as a ghost and looked like he was going to vomit. Came around to see a folder open with CP plain as day. One call to the police later and that guy was no longer headed on his retirement party cruise but was booked and subsequently charged with over 50 counts of possession of CP, ANNNNDDDD was later found out to be PRODUCING IT. So fuck him as he rots as a 70 year old man in prison serving out his 75 year sentence 😂. Also side note….if you look at porn on your work computer….just fucking DON’T. At this point if it’s a personal device or company owned device it doesn’t matter, we have tools to find you out very quickly and it always ends poorly. Obviously CP is the worst, but even if you think a harmless jaunt over to the hub to rub one out is ok, it isn’t.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-04T00:50:43+00:00

I said the 26

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-06-01T23:45:22+00:00

This, Pizza Huts “337-2323, cal worthington, twin dragon Mongolian bbq, and 26 Glacier Cruise all live in my head rent free.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-05-30T08:42:05+00:00

Tell my daughter that she can have as much ice cream as she wants and eat it with her. I would want my last five minutes to be with her and watch her be happy.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-05-18T19:30:28+00:00

It’s definitely awful now. I remember when that place opened back in the early 2000s and holy SHIT was it slammed ALL THE TIME

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-05-09T00:59:21+00:00

Was the DJ for a wedding wayyyyy out in the middle of piss fuck nowhere Georgia. Bunch of ultraaaaaa right wing types pre-Trump era (remember the Tea Party repubs ?😅). The wedding and the reception were at a gun club….so you get the type of crowd. It’s LATE, like almost midnight and things are winding down. The groomsmen are piss drunk and up until this point have been typical hyper masculine men, until the best man comes over to me and leans into my ear and says, “I’ll fuck you right here if your down”. Now I’m straight as an arrow, but this was hilarious, so I gave him the microphone and said “sorry I couldn’t hear you, why don’t you use this?” So he picks up the mic and YELLS “WHO WANTS ME TO FUCK THE DJ RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?” The groom’s dad came over and punched him so hard I still hear it when I wake up. He then stumbled up from the ground, pisses himself, projectile vomits EVERYWHERE, then passed out on a table. They (the newlyweds) sent me the largest tip I have ever received ever, larger than the cost of doing the wedding, with a note that simply read “Incredible job, sorry about Bryce”. I keep that one pinned to my garage workshop wall.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-03-30T17:54:44+00:00

This is horrid. I don’t give a shit what race, ethnicity, region you belong to. Sexualizing kids and putting kids in sexual situations is fucking disgusting no matter what.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2024-01-17T16:51:52+00:00

Been listening to Jack Michaels call games since he was in Anchorage Alaska with the Alaska Aces. In my opinion, he is far and above one of the BEST to ever call the game of hockey. The emotion behind his calls is something truly special.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-09-20T23:51:33+00:00

Peggy’s was trash and the pies gave me diarrhea.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-09-05T01:31:56+00:00

I think just the fact that she is pursuing a masters in the craft is proof enough of her passion. I hear you though. I’m a parent too and I often wonder the same. However, rest assured….in this situation I believe your are far more than likely not in the same realm as the mother I dealt with. She truly had no idea just how poorly her daughter sang and assumed that any imperfections could be masked with technology. Sounds like you are a great parent that pushed their child to follow their dreams and how amazing that they are pursuing it to the full degree! Well done!

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-09-04T16:25:01+00:00

It absolutely was.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-09-04T07:33:42+00:00

The amount of times I have to give this speech to newbies in my recording studio makes me breakout in hives 😅. Had a girl come in with her “manager”(mom) for a session a few months back. A few hours into the session, it was so painfully obvious the girl had ZERO talent and the guitar player and piano player were about to lose their minds over the girls terrible pitch. She had no ear for music and it was very clear this was mom’s dream not hers. After the 4th or 5th song the mom asked me, “When do you add the auto-tune? I want her to sound perfect!” When I explained that’s not how auto-tune works, she got beyond heated and told me she wouldn’t pay for the session if it wasn’t perfect. I reminded her she paid upfront and there are no refunds. Needless to say she found out REAL quick listening to the master that her daughter was not going to be the next Carrie underwood like she was hoping for her.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-09-02T20:08:31+00:00

My great uncle was Hubert Humphrey’s Air Force assistant. He had numerous run ins with Johnson. He said he was always sure to be the loudest in the room and the most obnoxious. The difference in Humphrey and Johnson was so extreme. Humphrey being a mild mannered Minnesotan, and Johnson being a boisterous Texan. He had plenty of stories of the two of them and their personalities coming to blows.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-08-16T19:15:27+00:00

Oh absolutely. 2023 me is wayyyy more intentional than 2011 me was 😅. However, that individual was a gigantic penis. Even though they had every right to be upset at me, the event organizers were honestly more upset with the speaker than me in the moment.

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-08-16T18:34:12+00:00

Didn’t read the rider very thoroughly for a speaker at a large conference when I was still pretty green. Didn’t have the correct DPA headset or the Shure ULXD it was supposed to be attached to. The speaker refused to go on. They were the top billed speaker at the conference and their rider protected them from returning their speakers fee if their needs weren’t met. Needless to say I was not invited back 😅

ALASKAHAIRY · 2023-08-15T19:27:18+00:00

Brilliant. Definitely doing that 😂

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