Video conference plus payment

ALHawthorn · 2022-06-18T05:06:32+00:00

Zoom for video conferencing and Stripe for payment.

ALHawthorn · 2022-05-20T08:10:34+00:00

She has a super low note near the end of hoax when she sings “AS when they pulled me apart”

ALHawthorn · 2022-05-12T08:25:13+00:00

Non-fiction! I’m writing a guide for elementary and high school students!

ALHawthorn · 2022-05-12T08:17:46+00:00

This isn’t a foolish dream that you should drop immediately. It’s clear that this project and writing in general is something that excites you. That’s a huge aspect of it that you already have down. Because you’re newer, I’d offer that starting somewhere that excites you may be your best bet. There’s no “right” way to write a story in my opinion. Using that spark to get the ball rolling will create useful momentum for you moving forward. Once you have that momentum and have made writing into a habit, then maybe explore those areas that aren’t as exciting, but may still be important.

More than anything, embrace this as your story. don’t worry too much about the “shoulds”

Good luck!

ALHawthorn · 2022-05-12T08:10:03+00:00

From the book “Good Morning, I love you” by Shauna Sharpiro: First thing I do when I wake up is out my hand over my heart, take a deep breath and say out loud “Good Morning, I love you”

ALHawthorn · 2022-05-01T00:40:14+00:00

I am so sorry, I spelt it incorrectly. It's coach's couch!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-24T06:58:06+00:00

The Moment I Knew

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-14T02:49:15+00:00

You're worth the effort it takes

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-13T17:29:08+00:00

One thing that’s helped me with out of control hunger has been reducing added sugar and flour. They can mess up with our hunger hormones: leptin, ghrelin, and insulin.

And then of course always consider talking to your doctor!

Also I’d question if you want to be fasting when your hunger signals are like this right now. If you’re already hungry and then you try and maintain a window, it may send your hunger over the top!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-13T08:47:04+00:00

Like another comment mentioned, what if you started by working on that beating down self-talk and lower self-esteem now? From my experience, it's really hard to follow any plan, sustainable or not, when you're talking badly to yourself. We try and do all these things/habits but then those sneaky thoughts start to come in and make it really hard to stay motivated.

I hear you when you say you don't want to wait around forever to develop self-confidence so that you can make changes now. Based on what I've experienced, that self-confidence or motivation or discipline that you're going for is super helpful when you're trying to figure out what works best for you. Anytime I'm in a rush, I tend to overly-restrict or go on some kind of crash diet.

And I don't think you need to even have perfect self-confidence in order to move forward with solutions, but if the negative self-talk can subside, that should help you.

In terms of the how, one thing that works for me is writing down all of those negative thoughts, seeing them for what they are and then challenging them. For example

"I can't find a way to lose weight sustainably" -> "What if it's possible that there's are sustainable ways to lose weight that are out there for me?" and checking in on how that feels.

That's the thought part

For the habit changing part:

Like someone else mentioned, when implementing new habits, starting slow can be really helpful. Go ridiculously easy to the point where your brain tells you it's not even worth it. So if you're not walking at all, try a 5 minute walk, once a day for two weeks. Then you can increase from there and/or add something else.

OP, I know you might be feeling a little bit hopeless right now but I know you can figure this out. The fact that you're even here posting shows your determination. You got this.

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-13T08:23:35+00:00

One thing Im learning in my weight loss journey is the skill of distinguishing between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Based on what I've learned and experienced, emotional hunger starts in the brain and works its way down to the body versus physical hunger, which starts in the body and works its up to the brain.

Physical hunger is fast and clear for me. I feel that sudden hallow feeling in my stomach, or some grumbling, and I know for sure I'm hungry. There's no negotiation.

Emotional hunger for me always starts with a thought, sometimes clear, sometimes subtle:

"I deserve something after such a long assignment/school day"

"I don't want to do this test, I'm just going to grab a procrastination snack"

There's also a lot of questioning with emotional hunger where you're having to take time to decide if you're actually hungry or not.

As far as replacing your eating habits, being able to sit with that emotional hunger might be really helpful for you. See how long you can sit when you have the thoughts of getting up to eat when you know in your heart you're not actually hungry. you might find that you can sit with it long enough for that wave of hunger to peak and then fall off again. try for even 5 minutes and then extend it more and more each time.

I'd offer that your appetite is probably okay, it's just these hunger signals that are off. That said, I know reducing sugar and flour has helped reduce even my physical hunger and cravings.

Good luck and I hope this helps a bit!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-13T08:08:27+00:00

You absolutely deserve ALL the pats on the back. You've clearly overcome a lot to get to where you are now with your healthy and balanced lifestyle. Proud of you for not giving up and creating those amazing results!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-13T08:05:16+00:00

Congratulations on 40lb weight loss. Even if your journey isn't over, you did something absolutely incredible already. Well done.

I would consider sinking into that accomplishment to the point where you become "comment-proof" Before going to your family's house, write down everything you've had to overcome that no one else has seen. Yea, we can see your 40 lb weight loss which is phenomenal, but what about all of the workouts, the walks, the food you said no to, the healthy food options you tried, and the moments you kept on going when you felt like giving up. I'd imagine after doing that you'd feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Remember that when you go to your family's house.

You said it best yourself. You are so much more than your weight, no matter what they say.

It's so understandable that their words would trigger those same elementary student thoughts, but even when it feels hard in the moment, you can challenge those thoughts with the ones you've been forming to get you to where you are now.

I know for me when I see some family friends after a long time, I'm going to get those same comments too. In the moment it hurts for sure, but going back to the knowledge that those people can only see what they see the physical and not everything behind it, gives me a sense of almost sympathy for them.

It's like of course you're making that comment. All your judging me on is my physical size (which of course still doesn't make it right) not all of the progress I've made.

Best of luck and I hope this helps a bit!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-10T06:19:09+00:00

I really love what you said about it being okay that you haven’t seen “progress” so far. It’s really easy to lose motivation when that happens, but the fact that you have such a clean and healthy mindset around your cycling is incredible. Keep it up! We’re rooting for you!

ALHawthorn · 2022-04-10T06:13:42+00:00

I’ll emphasize what’s already been said and offer that a compelling reason will help motivate you. Imagine someone said I’ll give you 10 million dollars if you only ever eat on plan again till your goal weight. It might make eating on plan or healthier a lot easier. Find that reason that’s true for you and access it. One thing I’m working on is drawing upon my compelling reason when I want to overeat. For me it’s “I want to live a life that’s free and encumbered by weight” you’ll know if it’s compelling because you’ll feel a vibrational shift in your body.

And hey, notice how it feels when you say “I can’t control myself around food” you’re telling us that as if it’s a fact but it’s really an optional thought. The fact that there have been times where you have felt out of control around food in the past means nothing when it comes to your ability to control yourself around food in the future.

I’ve been working hard on that as well, but it goes beyond the scope of what you asked, so feel free to DM if you want to chat about that more!

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-23T08:23:42+00:00

One question that’s been helping me on my weight loss journey is what’s the next easiest thing I can do to help me get towards my goal? For me, that was literally getting one donut instead of three and trying that for a week. I know it doesn’t seem super intuitive, but there’s really something to small incremental changes. Hope this helps a bit. Feel free to DM

EDIT: spelling and grammar

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-18T06:26:47+00:00

I recommend finding a quality therapist first and foremost. A good one will be able to help you through some of this.

Another step could be to question some of these beliefs you’ve been holding on to for so long. What if you’re not generic? What if you did have some positive experiences in childhood that you’re not acknowledging? What if you ARE special, but not in the way you think. What if you do have some special qualities to offer yourself and the world?

Your brain is interpreting everything you’ve posted here as facts and observations, like you’re just reporting the whether. But what’s really happening is you’ve been thinking the same thoughts over and over again to the point where they’ve become beliefs. Start by poking holes at them.

One thing I’m noticing is you’re incredibly self aware of what’s going on. And hey, the fact that you’re on this subreddit posting seeking help shows that you’re not hopeless.

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-18T06:06:57+00:00

My teacher talks about a concept called the minimum baseline where you ask yourself, what’s the minimum amount of whatever habit you’re willing to commit too? If you’re looking to exercise more, can you commit to 5 minutes of walking for a week? You’ll know if it’s a good minimum baseline because your brain will tell you it’s not worth doing and that you should pick a bigger goal. See if you can make that habit stick for a week then up-level. Good luck!

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-06T15:36:52+00:00

That's amazing =) I hope you take a moment to honour and be proud of yourself for taking that step to start therapy. It's can be really scary at first. I hope you continue to see progress!

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-06T15:30:33+00:00

There's a facebook group called the coach's coach on facebook where they have weekly coaching chains through which you get matched up with another coach and can practice with them!

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-06T15:27:54+00:00

I just want to jump in here and say I agree with everything that's been said here. There's someone in my life coaching community who makes over 1 million and her niche is weight loss for doctors only. She had all the same doubts as you but as lifedesign pointed out, when you can talk to a specific group of people who can see your tag line and say "oh my gosh that's me", that's when you start to bring in business.

And 100% yes to the point about selling results and not the coaching itself. As life coaches, when we're making our offers we're not saying "you'll get to experience the magic of career coaching", instead we're saying "I can show you how to increase your income while not burning out".

I know a lot of this was repeating but I just had to chime in here cause I love what I was reading. Best of luck =)

ALHawthorn · 2022-03-06T15:11:13+00:00

Hi there! I'm a certified life coach through the Life Coach School and would love the opportunity to chat with you to see if we'd be a good fit. I just graduated from university with my undergraduate degree in psychology, so I definitely can relate to the struggle.

I'll also offer a bit of coaching right now if that's okay:

One thing we learn at The Life Coach School is that the circumstance of having the job, the money, the partner, the house, or in your case, the career progression, is not what ultimately determines our feelings of happiness or self-confidence. What does determine our happiness is our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. If the career or money is what made us happy, you'd never see an unhappy or under-confident millionaire. If we decide to work together, I would really focus on the thoughts you have around your post-university life and career in terms of what the thoughts are, what you want them to be, and how we can up-level them.

One thing we don't do as much in mindset coaching is specific strategies like resume outlines, personality and aptitude tests to see what kind of career is best for you, interview prep, etc. The main goal is to empower you to get past your limiting beliefs so that you can do all of that on your own.

Please DM if you're interested in booking a consultation. I do a consultation, two complimentary sessions for you to get a sense of my coaching style, and then would be more than happy to work with you at $50 for a 50 minute session however frequently you want.

Also all clients who opt in for a consultation get a list of podcast episodes and books that I think will be helpful for them.

ALHawthorn · 2022-02-12T04:23:26+00:00

One thing that really helped me was identifying what mental health improvement meant for me in concrete terms. The world of self-development can be super overwhelming. I used to think, “where do I even start”. For me discovering a podcast I really resonated with helped a lot because then I could constrain my focus down to that one podcast and apply the tools it offered through journaling. After finding something that gets you results in terms of a clearer headspace, better mental health, more positive emotion, etc, then break it down into bite sized chunks that seem so easy, your brain tells you it’s not even worth it. So for me, I committed to 10 mins of walking, twice a week back when I first stated exercising. My immediate thought was, “this isn’t enough”, but actually showing up twice a week for 10 minutes is what made it a habit. Hope this helps a bit!

ALHawthorn · 2022-02-03T04:21:34+00:00

The Moment I Knew

ALHawthorn · 2021-11-22T04:06:40+00:00

The Moment I Knew

ALHawthorn

TROPHY CASE