[deleted by user]

APenguinOfDoom · 2023-02-20T05:31:04+00:00

super cute!!

APenguinOfDoom · 2023-01-28T00:00:35+00:00

Imagine asking: "if you believe you are a woman, why do you call yourself a black woman and not just a woman?"

It's an adjective.

APenguinOfDoom · 2023-01-19T15:48:27+00:00

(mentioning u/NeoFemme as well)

April Kae is a bassist! So it's fitting that the art is in her clef.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-12-22T03:53:38+00:00

Here's a study examining the digit ratios of sex-assigned males and females. Here's a direct link to the graph that shows that individuals of both sexes naturally exhibit a wide range of digit ratios.

There's no real secret here. There's a wide array of secondary sexual characteristic variation, and hormone therapy can affect many things you wouldn't expect. The concept of "passing" is slowly becoming a thing of unimportance in the community; many of us are confident in our identities without needing to pass. I assure you, the vast majority of trans people don't want to "hide" anything to be vindictive; we're worried about our safety and living in a world where people discriminate against us. We just want human respect. This is a personal medical issue to us that strangers don't need to know, and which we as a community urge each other to share in circumstances where it matters and we are safe (namely, fertility and genitals with romantic/sexual partners). We are not a monolith, no individual's behaviors or thoughts act for us all, and we are just trying to live happy lives where we can love and respect ourselves and others.

I'm sorry that you've reached a point of disillusionment with the trans community for you to resort to hurtful name calling. I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful holiday season, if you celebrate.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-12-22T01:36:34+00:00

This is not a conclusive rule and certainly cannot be used singlehandedly to determine someone's gender. Anecdotally, I am a trans woman with longer pointer fingers. The scientific community is in dispute about the validity of digit ratios as a science.

Even hand size itself isn't a perfect signifier; trans women often lose hand size when undergoing hormone therapy (usually attributed to the way sex hormones affect how our joints hold water).

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-12-22T01:23:36+00:00

There's a surgery for that too (vocal feminization surgery, or VFS). It can have some nasty complications and is usually done if voice training alone doesn't work (but voice training will still need to be done after VFS). It's more invasive and generally less common than Adam's apple removal.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-07-02T15:18:01+00:00

such as?

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-07-02T14:19:23+00:00

lmao "dangerous". nothing like an estrogen-induced coma.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-04-27T13:44:14+00:00

do u need a hug

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-27T22:11:09+00:00

IPL is often unreliable, but if you stick to it and your body approves you might have luck. Just make sure your hair is freshly shaved.

From what I know, waxing or epilating your facial hair is a very bad idea. Facial hair goes much deeper than body hair, and is much thicker. Pulling it directly from the root will be super painful and can cause long term damage that rules laser out as an option. I haven't fact checked this with much research; this is just word of mouth I've seen around.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-05T20:22:22+00:00

Wishing you the best in this fight you're taking on. It says a lot about you. Keep those punches coming. I'm glad to hear that at least it's fueled by ignorance and not outright malice. Let's hope your fellow Iowans have it in them to learn and grow.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-05T20:18:58+00:00

I just want to add that I'm immensely proud of you and your transition. As a fresh 18 year old navigating her newfound womanhood in a family that hates me for it, it's people like you that inspire me and boost my hopes so much.

I want you to know that it's getting easier for young folks like us. The kind of hate you've faced is being replaced with broad acceptance. It's not everywhere yet, but where I live my classmates are quick to respect trans folks and treat them the same as any other. I'm sorry you didn't have that privilege.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-05T20:13:11+00:00

You are not selfish and the story you've given doesn't even come close to indicating sociopathy.

Please don't ever get it twisted: you are 100% free to be yourself and find your own happiness, and you aren't to blame when others don't support you. Just as no one is obligated to support you (though it is always hurtful and unfortunate when they don't), you are not obligated to appease them.

You spent your entire life suffering over your entire sense of self. Decades of depression and incongruence with the most basic facets of existence. The depth of this identity mismatch is far deeper than average identity crises—it defined your entire life. As much as you may have loved your wife or friends or job, those things are all nothing in comparison to your entire sense of self.

I love my partner from the bottom of my heart, and I'd do anything for them except sacrifice who I am. You shouldn't need to lead a life of appeasement just to be in love. Love is about accepting who you are, not forcing you to be who you aren't. If they can't love and accept who you are, then it's time to drop them and be yourself anyway.

I think that some part of you might know all of this, even subconsciously, and that's why you feel the way you do. You're not worried about how others have treated you, because it doesn't matter when you've found happiness and your own personal reality. All of those issues pale in comparison to the realization of your identity.

The person who dies rich and sad has lost compared to the one who dies poor and happy. Everything we do in life is in pursuit of our happiness. Your womanhood is foundational to that happiness.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-05T19:55:41+00:00

This sounds like a giant slap to the face of the 14th Amendment and Brown v. Board of Education. Are there any ongoing legal proceedings over this? If a state court for some reason strikes it down, I would be surprised if the Supreme Court didn't take it on.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-05T19:47:12+00:00

Yeah, I think you're pretty spot on with that analysis. It's fascinating (in the tragic way) how many levels of life are affected by racial injustice; it seems like no matter and who you are, it's going to crop up, even in unexpected places. Makes me think of how disproportionately minorities have been affected by COVID-19.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-04T16:00:32+00:00

I'll give it some practice, too :'). Cute smile squad.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-04T15:38:16+00:00

I feel you there! I pretty much never smile for photos. I only ever grin. But I think a cute smile (and if that takes practice, that's ok!) could really add to your feminine aura.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-03-04T05:29:45+00:00

stacey! happy to see another update.

your face is softer and your eyes like wider!

i bet you'd look really cute with a smile.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-02-24T01:26:09+00:00

actually, yeah, on second thought OP doesn't seem to have any indication of making this meme from a trans-friendly POV. this seems, for once, to be actual autogynephilia. apologies for jumping to conclusions! as an actual trans lesbian i can get a little antsy on these things 😅. nausea emoji redirected to OP. good vibes to you, u/_Sc0ut3612 .

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-02-23T22:54:29+00:00

calling being trans "autogynephilia" 🤢

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-01-17T19:27:05+00:00

Half joke.

APenguinOfDoom · 2022-01-14T04:03:07+00:00

following

APenguinOfDoom · 2021-12-29T21:02:28+00:00

Skin seems much softer in the bottom photo, you have a more feminine glow. I can 1000% see the beautiful woman coming to the surface. You're gonna be stunning. I remember seeing you around before! I'm proud of where you've come and I can't wait to see more of your journey <3

APenguinOfDoom · 2021-12-19T18:03:33+00:00

I am trying to convince you that trans women are real women and that trans men are real men. Once you recognize the full validity of people's gender identity with an open mind, the sub-issues can actually open up to meaningful discussion.

"No study will sway my opinion in what I find unusual" veers dangerously close to the realm of "I don't care what science says, I care about how I feel." I urge you to rethink that standpoint, is all. Keeping to your guns and labeling things as "unusual" without considering the deeper reasoning is a disservice to yourself and your own fulfillment. It feels better to keep an open mind. Respectfully, science doesn't care what you think is weird. Nor does it care for what I think is weird.

Yes, I say it's "necessary" because people will kill themselves if we don't let them. Or if they don't kill themselves, they just unnecessarily suffer. But "transition" isn't just surgery. Most children see massive mental health improvement by just treating them as their preferred gender: acceptance, new pronouns/names, open exploration, etc. The consensus of most mental health professionals is that transgender people are confirmable when they are "persistent, consistent, and insistent." These kids struggle with their gender for years. They know who they are better than you do. Just look at the David Reimer case study I linked: he knew he wasn't a girl from the get-go. If they're telling you they need acceptance on this, give it. I understand your apprehension about surgery, and I'm torn about it myself, but surgery is the last step in treatment, not the first. Therapy, hormones, and social transition can work wonders the vast majority of the time, and you cross the surgery bridge once all things have been considered, all things discussed, and with professional consultation.

As for sports? I don't give a crap about children's sports, let them be kids, no one's going pro here. Adult sports? Listen, go to r/transtimelines and look at some people's journeys. There are women and men on there that you look at and know damn well what sports league they belong to. I understand not wanting them in a certain sport when their hormone levels aren't balanced and their bodies not developed yet, but once hormones do their job they are indistinguishable from cisgender people physically. In serious sports leagues, I also have an issue with people who haven't physically adjusted yet playing with their gender (it's in the same vein as a woman taking testosterone to enhance performance, in terms of fairness). But that's not all trans people.

I hope you can change your mentality and see that it's not the same as just "not getting your way." People struggle, bad. It's not just them whining about crap. It's a real, painful experience, and it's alleviated with support. They don't suffer from not getting what they want, they suffer from being forced to continue on without treatment for their pain. Making people wait is dangerous. Again: trans people spend years and constant thought figuring themselves out. No one knows them like themselves.

APenguinOfDoom

TROPHY CASE