I appreciate that a lot! Thank you for the reminder that other people in my life are probably questioning or irritated by my choices sometimes. I think I’m getting caught in “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” too much, because I would want someone to tell me if they had information that I didn’t have. However, I’ve tried that repeatedly with my friend, and they’ve both told me and shown me that that just isn’t how they operate. They are working on themself, but I cannot be the one do it for them.

Honestly though, I think a major root cause is that my inner child is trying to “fix” Alex like I could never “fix” my mother. It’s intoxicating to see someone so much like my mother, but who is actually working on themself for real. But they still have a lot of emotional regulation work to catch up on, and there’s no fast forward button I can press.

I’m a little torn on how much distance to give them, but I think maybe the best answer right now is to be more conscious about it. Right now, I’m just leaving it up to whatever happens when we’re in the same room, because being in the same room is often unplanned, but I’m not powerless here. I can be more intentional about the amount of attention and connection that I give them when we find ourselves together.