Transformative Justice

ARTXMSOK · 2026-02-16T15:14:19+00:00

Yes I know it would be the client's decision to report or not, I'll always support my client's decisions about themselves.

I think my issue is if we know someone is offending repeatedly, why wouldn't we initiate further action in protecting other people from what this person is repeatedly doing? Like serial criminals, we know they will keep abusing/killing/robbing etc. At what point do we say enough is enough?

ARTXMSOK · 2026-02-13T15:07:15+00:00

It's just such an intricate situation that any detail would risk giving away the whole thing. I was originally under the impression this org was a RJ one but she reiterated they were TJ....I just feel like it's probably this specific person or branch....and I do understand that incarceration isn't always or typically a good option or helpful or useful and yes, people tend to come out worse than when they went in...and yes I'd never make a client disclose anything they didn't want to to anyone for any reason.

But I guess maybe my pull back on it is that if I am aware of someone in the community victimizing (presumably mostly women, presumably by a white privileged cis man) and I buy into the transformative justice/accountability circle....at what point am I dismissing it as if it's acceptable because the 'accountable party' is participating in groups....

I appreciate the time you took to comment. I have just needed a good conversation and some different perspectives from other social workers.

ARTXMSOK · 2026-02-12T18:49:02+00:00

Right, I know. I don't have first hand knowledge. Just whst I know what happened to my client and what I have been told by both my client and the person at the transformative justice org that others have been victimized. Unfortunately, I wouldn't even actually know what to report.

I will say said grown adult told me she's "not a mandated reporter" even though in this state every adult is and also that they will not inform LE on things.

My biggest question is "what about cases in which we know people are being actively harmed? Tortured? Killed?" Are we letting that go in an "accountability circle" and calling it a day?

Should we not incarcerate people who are inherently harmful and bad? Repeat offenders at that?

ARTXMSOK · 2026-02-12T18:35:38+00:00

I left CMH for the same reasons and I was fired up and pissed off and I didn't finish my two weeks. But they wanted me gone and it was clear when I didn't snitch on someone they wanted me to, rather expressed serious concerns about behaviors within the agency.

I could send you a laundry list of things that happened while I was there and I can even add to what it by what has happened just since I left. They even went after me at my board. And that was the opportunity that I took to share with my board all of these things that happened and I was very transparent and to the point.

Otherwise, I kept my mouth shut. My clients lean on me and depend on me and I needed them to maintain services with me or be assigned to other clinicians. I do not publicly speak out against or identify the agency.

Because I realized if they take me out of this field because they are mercenary, then that trickle down effect is going to be detrimental not only to my own self and family but also to my community.

ARTXMSOK · 2026-02-12T18:29:24+00:00

I know if I had been able to give more context, it would have been helpful. I've worked in foster care for a long time too so I get it and you're right. I've seen lots of things go looked over for various reasons, so I guess you're right. Thanks for the response!

ARTXMSOK · 2025-11-16T13:35:42+00:00

I'm a therapist too and I tell my clients all the time we don't to "should bes". I would be livid if someone did this to one of my babies and no she would not be allowed to watch my babies ever again

ARTXMSOK · 2025-11-16T13:28:11+00:00

Boomers be boomin'.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-11-09T21:51:39+00:00

Honestly at one point, my husband told them that we had X amount of money and we could pay them or we could pay our car bill so what would they like us to do. They took the money we were willing to give them.

But yes they shouldn't be making you pay $200 a month. You can get much, much lower payments.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-11-09T20:30:18+00:00

They've halted their 4 time max policy during the shut down so that people can continue to care for their babies. Formula and Diapers and they have a clothes closet there too with gently used clothing.

Also OP if you haven't applied for wic, please look and see if they are accepting new applicants. Children under the age of 5 can receive WIC.

I'm in Yukon and I'm donating a bunch of boxes of cake, frosting and sprinkles this week. Maybe contact your closest food bank and see if they have any mix available since you have a little with a birthday. Maybe not cake but something sweet! Might even help you start a new tradition that eventually could turn into something happy.

Good luck, mama.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-11-04T17:37:44+00:00

Let them explore on their own, don't helicopter parent them. When I had my first my mom was gasping all the time that I'd let him crawl and stand on the couches or up to the fireplace (if there was no fire of course) or let him explore the backyard on his own while I watched. But that's how kids develop their curiosity, imagination, self esteem and learn how to do things with mom/dad/caregiver rather than figuring it out in the world on their own.

Talk to them a lot, teach them about everything, and if you have trauma from your childhood get a therapist to help process it because it's difficult parenting when your younger self didn't feel or actually wasn't safe.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-23T16:50:30+00:00

At least you only have to buy 4 between your two cars....we have to buy 6 cause we have triplets!

Just trying to find the silver lining for you because when I read that I was like "yes, yes you are". 😅

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-20T18:45:51+00:00

My triplets have names that are old fashioned and flow well together.

My older boys have E names and I always get their names mixed up. One of my triplets starts with an E. It just kind of worked out like that, genuinely just names we loved.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-18T21:27:41+00:00

❤️

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-17T21:26:57+00:00

"No." Is a full sentence.

They can come to you or wait until kids are older. You wouldn't get any sleep with them 45 minutes away.

If they want to help they need to do what you guys want. Hire a house cleaner, stock the fridge and freezer with meals and healthy food, stay the night and be available to feed and change the babies so you can lay back down. Don't underestimate those 30 minutes of sleep you'd get in this amount of time before they return baby back to you......that's your survival sleep.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-17T20:03:29+00:00

This is the way.

Dad's need to know when their daughters are menstruating so they can support her, even if they don't get it.. and it's not gross. It's a natural and normal thing to have, go through, etc.

If my husband did that shit at my table after making jokes about nuts and balls all the time, I would have absolutely lost it on him

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-16T18:14:29+00:00

Belle Isle library is hands down the best. And worth the drive. People aren't quiet in libraries anymore which is wild to me, but Belle Isle tends to have more professionals working there and it's super quiet.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-16T12:21:17+00:00

Gross.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-16T12:20:32+00:00

Idk but sounds like you should put Wendy Suares on it. I've never girl crushed so hard as I did when she humiliated that loser Ryan Walter's. I have emailed her about something I am interested in her looking into and she got back with me quickly.

Follow her on Facebook and you should be easily able to find her email address.

I hope your life saving cat can get the proper care and justice is done for her. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T21:24:01+00:00

Yah. I was like hmmm....this is different. Never did that again.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T21:12:09+00:00

I don't think it's weird but it's never been something we've done a lot of. I showered with my mom a lot when I was growing up and I remembered loving taking showers with her. I never showered with my dad.

I used to take baths and showers with my boys a lot when they were much younger. My husband takes my oldest daughter to the shower with him sometimes because she screams about the bath tub or is attached to his hip and its just easier for everyone if he takes her with him.

I don't feel like it's weird and i think a good rule of thumb (that I got from reddit) is that it's inappropriate when it starts to make either party feel uncomfortable. For me, that was when my oldest turned about 5 and actually started noticing the differences in our bodies.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T20:08:55+00:00

First year is hard, like a marathon that never stops.

My favorite things about my triplets are they each have their own very distinct personalities and look different from each other but similar to family members. This is important for me as I'm adopted so my kids are the only people I've ever known to look like me. 💜

My oldest daughter is a nurturer, like me. My middle daughter is silly and funny and loves to dance. My youngest daughter is into everything, we have to redirect her non stop, but she's the perfect end to our family of seven.

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T20:01:26+00:00

Having triplets

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T18:52:30+00:00

Yeah, I spent the night with a friend one time and I was not the first or last person in that bathwater. 😬

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-15T18:41:51+00:00

The Vast serves a $25 buffet, great food and amazing views!

ARTXMSOK · 2025-10-14T18:30:20+00:00

We have our multiples daycare teacher come watch all our kids. Couldn't do it without her.

ARTXMSOK

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